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| Topic: Parents' Dictionary | |
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AMNESIA: condition that enables a woman who has gone through labour to have sex again.
DUMB WAITER: one who asks if the kids would care to order dessert. FAMILY PLANNING: the art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster. FEEDBACK: the inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots. FULL NAME: what you call your child when you're mad at him. GRANDPARENTS: the people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right. HEARSAY: what toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word. IMPREGNABLE: a woman whose memory of labour is still vivid. INDEPENDENT: how we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say. OW: the first word spoken by children with older siblings PRE-NATAL: when your life was still somewhat your own. PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it. SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented than yours. STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby's dummy by boiling it and to your last baby's dummy by blowing on it. TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman pyjamas TWO-MINUTE WARNING: when the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises. VERBAL: able to whine in words. WHO-DUNIT: none of the kids that live in your house.  
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AS A PARENT THERE IS NO SUCH THING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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