Lost; I know not which path to follow
Crisp, dry, harsh, it’s just too hard to swallow

I walk in circles and play in the rain
I remain a child so it’s easier to avoid the pain

Never before this day did I know what it was to feel alive
Each day I spent, was spent just finding a way to survive

From the right, let perfection return to the stage
Not only beautiful, but she was of the legal age

She pushed back her hair, without but a single care
Still so unaware, I was left in a simple blank stare

‘Excuse me’ she said, but I had forgotten how to speak
She stepped in reverse as my chances grew bleak

‘Yes?’ I choked on the words as a butterfly swirled in my chest
I didn’t know how much I could help, but she would get only my best

She extended her hand, digits intertwined with mine
This wasn’t fate, no, just Gods cruel design

‘You are too sweet, too charming, and too cute’
This is where it ends, I already been down this route

She’ll tell me she loves me but love isn’t enough
I been down this road; where it’s cold, empty, and rough

It was the words that followed, that wreaked havoc upon my heart
‘I love you, Michael, and I always have from the start

As each day passes, only one thing seems to change
My love for you expands, growing to an even broader range

I can no longer dream if our rainbow fails to shine
You live with a fear, one that I cannot define

Waste not our precious and short time together
For this is the way to our future, one that is so much better

Now, in the past, and for all the days that have yet to see the sun
My love for you will only grow to the extremes that cannot be undone

It’s the very way you look at me, placing me upon a throne
Touch me and caress my very soul; not even God can stop this moan

Every night, you take me to places I never knew existed
You hold me close, wake up in my arms, this cannot be resisted

For the times when you feel all but too alone
Close your eyes, and listen for my whispered tone

I will always love you no matter the distance, the depths, or the heights’
I smiled softly as the tear hit my eye; she was my heart something worth all the fights

I close my eyes, on those lonely summer nights
I ignore all the sounds, oblivious to all the sights

Just wanting to see that smile for one last time
Before all my words lose their will to rhyme

While most think love isn’t worth the pain
Then let them forever dance alone in the rain

For love is the greatest of all our emotions
It’s timeless, faceless, and runs as deep as the oceans

Yet like the unicorn or the beauty of myths and art
If one gives up on love; then how can the other play their part?

Love can never be defined, refined, or destroyed
If you believe it can, then the human heart is but null and void

Love exists, flourishes, it is received, given, and does thrive
Despite the boundaries of time, love shall always find ways to survive

© 2009 Ridikulus Inc.
All Rights Reserved.
(Copyright is my own)

well said !

Thanx.

i enjoyed this piece as a whole...
it is easy to see that you put some thought into it and that is always a good thing...

I wrote this one two months ago.. and aside from the first guy who commented..
Your the second you to openly admit they read it. :]

Thanx for the comment; even if I don't know entirely what you mean.
It took me two hours to finally agree with myself that it was 'good enough'.

Figured I'd post it, see if I get any feedback..
I guess I'm my toughest critic so far, lol.

i know what you mean we are often hardest on our selves...

what i meant (if you dont mind) is that in this piece some of the rhymes seem a little forced...i'm not slamming you at all.

i know how difficult it is to write a longer piece and keep the flow just right when it needs to rhyme...your effort did not go un-noticed.

as for them not being good enough...who is to say what is or isnt?
just the fact that you are expressing yourself and submitting it to public scrutiny says enough...we all have our own ideas and our likes and dislikes may differ but, you will find many open minds here and the experience can, as it has me, help you figure out what works and does not...

Well put. Well said. And definitely noted.
I believe in the 15 years I've been writing..
That's the best advice and, eh, how do you put it?
Best evasive critism I've ever received/heard..

That forcing it thing you mentioned..
That's why I wasn't entirely satisified with it..

I think my worst flaw lies in the fact I don't have an expansive knowledge of my own language which, thus, in turn.. keeps me from achieving the rhymng flow I'm after..

But mark my words!
One day I'll spit the words..
The makes even your expansive mind go.. 'Wow'.
XD lmao

Do you even say, 'wow'?

hell yes i say wow!

i said it when i just read your reply...i am so glad that you didnt get pissed. <------ see i say a lot of other things too...haha.

i have only been writing for a little over 2 1/2 years so take my and all critism in but, only use the things that make sense to YOU and remember, sometimes less is more...sometimes what you dont say can be just as, if not more powerful than what you do say.

i have no doubt that you will one day blow a lot of people away sinse you are already way ahead of most and you have an open mind about it...good luck...i look forward to seeing more of your work...

Less is more..
I know that phrase all too well..
But once I get into a rhythm..
It's the emotions that get driven into each word..
I lack the ability to write short, sweet, and small..
they always come out long and, yeah I'll admit it..
Drawn out..

After an incident years ago..
My guidance counselor suggested I take therapy to make sure I was as 'ok' as i said i was..
That doc suggested I write out how I felt..
So much i had bottled inside..
It turned from a short ventation letter..
To two pages of raw, unhindered emotion..

I know alot of people write for alot of different and varying reasons..
I write to release these burning emotions..
Sometimes good, sometimes bad..
But never short.

Maybe it's just against my nature... but, regardless..
That is what defines me.

But fyi, don't give me too much credit..
I work with disgruntled IT nerds and take classes with them..
until you get criticism from a know-it-all..
idk if you truly understand criticism, lol.

Writing is very cathartic and many of us post what we feel. I think the satisfaction of what we write is a personal one. You will find support and well wishes in this forum. I enjoyed your write.

Um.
I'm not good with rare antiquities..
What's cathartic? lol
But thank you. =]

cathartic is like a cleansing, so to speak, getting all your feelings out.

Psh, I knew that. =]