O.K. I'm totally serious. My family was murdered by a group of ninjas, and I need money for Kung Fu lessons, so that I can do battle with them. I watched Kung Fu Panda and the Karate Kid about a million times, but I can't seem to get much help from the montauges. Anyone who feels a nagging sense of pity for me can leave a valid credit card number in my mail, and have the fulfillment of knowing that justice will be served. Also I need money for a plane ticket to fly to Japan, where thier dojo is located.

I have no money but I can teach you many things young grasshoppa!!!!

First.....we need you to paint da fence!!!

What up?

And then detail my car.

and then wax off and wax on the car!!!! Ohhhhhhh young grasshoppa you have come to the right prace!!!

And whine alot.

dont forget MOST important ... Sand da flo or LOL

Humilriation is key! I need a pedicure!

ohhhhhhh how about rake the pine needles???? I will be your dojo!!!

You must catch fry wit chopstick, den you wirr achieve enrightenment.

You guys have NO idea how much I love ninjas!!!


Ohhhhhhhhh KAWASAKI!!!!

This is serious! The ninjas grow stronger by the minute. I don't need money, just a good line of credit.

<---throws a chinese throwing star at the credit card companies!!!

And remember .. IF CRANE done properly, NO DEFENSE

be seeing you

Okay, if y'all aren't going to be serious about this, maybe I can learn Kung Fu techniques from watching free Asian porn.

It worked for me!!!