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| Topic: I laughed my bits off at this | |
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Edited by
uk1971
on
Thu 10/01/09 01:06 PM
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I recieved this as an email and decided to share.
Dear Sir. We have reason to believe that you have just contracted one of the most deadly forms of venereal disease known to man. Your girlfriend recently came to us for treatment. Please understand that normally we would respect confidentiality, but this is such a virulent and awesomely vicious strain, that everyone in contact with the carrier MUST be warned, isolated and treated before he/she passes it on. We have already contacted and isloated your girlfriends other lovers, (Although, isolating an entire village has proved difficult.) We are not sure, but we believe your girlfriend contracted the strain from some stowaway refugees on a Hungarian wood container ship. It is not a well known fact, but 96% of all sexually transmitted infections stem from this Hungarian source. This is especially true when Magyar Ice breakers are in dock. Budapest has now replaced Seol as the 'Venerial capital of the world' and we are confident that this is probably the original source of the contamination. Treatment is by a course of one hundred incredibly painful, monthly injections. During this time, NO alcohol is to be consumed, and food must be high fibre only. You will also be required to wear a surgical mask, as the bacilli are so virulent that a breath on average, will contain five billion individual bacterium, enough to cripple a major city. There will be, unavoidably, some side effects from the vaccine. Flatulence and vomiting alternating with impotence, torpor and paralysis. you may well also experience a considerable shrivelling of the genitalia. This, of course, is irrevocable, and will leave you at treatments end, with endowment roughly equal to a doormouse. Failure to seek immediate treatment will reult in what is called in medical circles, 'The China Syndrome', which has an effect on the lower regions roughly equivelent to placing crayons in an oven. Immediately on reading this email, you should remove yourself from any human company, and lock yourself in your bathroom. STAY THERE!!! Ensure breathing is kept to a minimum until a Serious Infections Unit arrives to collect you. In the assurance that full recovery is possible, Yours, R.E. Infest Chief Consultant  
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it could be warts...
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lol
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