Okay... I know I know... I am usually the first person to say 'be happy with yourself first' and 'have your **** together' before having a relationship... etc etc

But we all have some kind of baggage. We have all had hurt in the past. And emotional memories are one of the strongest memories to be imprinted in us and the most easiest to recall.

So with that said... what happens? We met someone and it was fun and great and has potential, right?

Then it starts....

The self-doubt, questioning and unproductive thoughts!

Unproductive thoughts are those that usually stir up an emotional response and will lead to irrational thoughts.

Unproductive thoughts:
Does he/she like me as much as I like them?
Will he/she break my heart?
Will he/she leave me?
Is he/she telling me the truth?
Did he/she just use me (for sex/money/whatever)?

Then this stirs up an emotional response... crying, withdrawl, depression, etc

Then the irrational thoughts begin...

Will I ever meet anyone that will love me?
I am not good enough, why am I not good enough?
I must have done something wrong!
Why am I being ignored?


So... why am I posting this? Partly because I have come to my own personal epithany and have come to terms with all this.


1. Love yourself. If you don't love yourself or are unhappy, you will not find this in another. (Which I have been saying for a long time!)

2. The only thing you can control/change/make are your own actions/behaviors/thoughts. You can't make someone care for you as much as you do them (and how could you really know that). You can't make someone 'love' you.

3. Knowing that part of it maybe you. If you are being overemotional and overthinking and having unproductive thoughts. Determine where that is coming from... something in your past and/or a pattern of behavior. Acknowledge it... and you just might be able to move forward.

Having unproductive thoughts/irrational thoughts will just project a negative vibe/self-image. This will only further push people away from you. Recognize them and let them go! Then you will be able to live in the moment and enjoy yourself.

Secondly, thank you to ArtGurl and Gossipmpm for providing some insight... it definately helped to have your prespective.


As I was told by ArtGurl (paraphrased) put on your big girl panties and now that you can handle whatever happens.

All true! Good points.

"Having unproductive thoughts/irrational thoughts will just project a negative vibe/self-image. This will only further push people away from you. Recognize them and let them go! Then you will be able to live in the moment and enjoy yourself."


Fantastic advise.

Good things to remember...thanks

Thank you everyone for your comments.


If you would like to add some unproductive thoughts that would be great! Maybe someone might recognize it and see themselves doing it.

Or if you care to share anything... please feel free to do so!

BTW, I almost pushed away a really great guy, but luckily he didn't freak and run.. and that I recognized a pattern with me. And it's like a weight is lifted off my shoulders.

I have said this before.

LOVE ISN'T FOR SISSIES!

In order to find true love you must risk your heart. There is no other way. Let go. Allow yourself to feel good. Enjoy it while it's here because it may never come again. Just keep the strings on your purse tight.

Love isn't for everyone, sissy or not. Kind of a generalization chalking them all up as sissies...some people don't want love for any number of reasons, doesn't mean they are in anyway cowards or sissies, just means they want nothing to do with it. Of course this is under the veil that love exists, which I'm thoroughly convinced it does not.

hubby!!!!!! <3

Virtual wifey!!! Where the hell have you been?!

Hey ash! How have you been?

Hey Tanya!! I've been pretty good, you?

Wonderful!

I've been here and there .. mostly there. How have you been??

I'm glad!!! =]

Same old, same old. Moving probably around the 20th of December though, out to Denver and going to pursue video editing for video game trailers.

Nice! =]

I'll be working on the 20th of December .. unless its a Sunday. Then I have off.

Let it shine girlfriend

(Sighs deeply) I often make speak generally. I do because the things I'm saying are GENERALLY true. If there are exceptions, that doesn't change the fact that is is true MOST of the time. Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

If this isn't you, fine. But, it is MOST people in this situation. If it bothers you maybe you should think about why that is. I don't think a statement like this bothers people it doesn't apply to. They see the humor of it. It only troubles people when it hits a little too close to home.

I am very proud of myself!