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| Topic: OPERATION GIBBON SNATCH | |
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Edited by
uk1971
on
Fri 09/25/09 02:36 PM
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 ANIMAL FREEDOM BRIGADE
Dear Comrade, Your email which reached us last Monday. Thanks for volunteering to do your bit in 'Operation Gibbon Snatch' With your help, the final piece of the plan has fallen into place, and we can now schedule the raid for next Monday. Your marvelous gesture in offering a safehouse over the weekend for the 40 pathetic little creatures we shall be liberating has made it all possible. You can expect us to arrive at around 3am on Saturday morning, but, we can't be sure. Baz, who'll be driving the suv, says he'll be using the back streets from the Lab to avoid any Police roadblocks. Anyway, we'll hoot 'La Cucaracha' three times and we'll bring the first sackload in. After that, you're on your own until 3am Monday when we'll collect them in our disguised Ice Cream Van. Don't forget to bundle them up in the sacks again, because Time will be of the essence. After that, as you know, we'll be letting them loose at strategic points along the freeway to do their own thing. A few words on their condition: Those bastards at the Institute have been shooting them up with a recently developed Nerve Toxin, so, although the poor little things can't help themselves, they're going to be very sick for a while. Don't worry though, a good industrial strength cleaner will remove vomit and diarrhoea from most houshold artifacts. However, Do try to keep them away from the wallpaper. Point two: In the withdrawal stages, the toxin may cause a mild form of epilepsy. If any of the gibbons does go into delayed toxic shock, fully in its mouth to avoid it swallowing its tongue. Don't forger, gibbons are Vegetarians in their natural unalienated state, so, it's lots of good healthy nuts and berries for them if their stomachs are up to it. But. Most important of all, DON'T forget to keep them occupied. REMEMBER. A bored gibbon is a Dangerous Gibbon. Let them watch tv or play with the dvd player. Also, gibbons are fascinated by running water, and will watch a bath run for hours. So. don't deny them this pleasure. I'm sure you'll soon get the hang of it. Thanks again, Calvin PS. Don't forget to delete this email. PPS. We'll be in touch shortly about the ocelots. 
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ANIMAL FREEDOM BRIGADE
Dear Comrade, Your email which reached us last Monday. Thanks for volunteering to do your bit in 'Operation Gibbon Snatch' With your help, the final piece of the plan has fallen into place, and we can now schedule the raid for next Monday. Your marvelous gesture in offering a safehouse over the weekend for the 40 pathetic little creatures we shall be liberating has made it all possible. You can expect us to arrive at around 3am on Saturday morning, but, we can't be sure. Baz, who'll be driving the suv, says he'll be using the back streets from the Lab to avoid any Police roadblocks. Anyway, we'll hoot 'La Cucaracha' three times and we'll bring the first sackload in. After that, you're on your own until 3am Monday when we'll collect them in our disguised Ice Cream Van. Don't forget to bundle them up in the sacks again, because Time will be of the essence. After that, as you know, we'll be letting them loose at strategic points along the freeway to do their own thing. A few words on their condition: Those bastards at the Institute have been shooting them up with a recently developed Nerve Toxin, so, although the poor little things can't help themselves, they're going to be very sick for a while. Don't worry though, a good industrial strength cleaner will remove vomit and diarrhoea from most houshold artifacts. However, Do try to keep them away from the wallpaper. Point two: In the withdrawal stages, the toxin may cause a mild form of epilepsy. If any of the gibbons does go into delayed toxic shock, fully in its mouth to avoid it swallowing its tongue. Don't forger, gibbons are Vegetarians in their natural unalienated state, so, it's lots of good healthy nuts and berries for them if their stomachs are up to it. But. Most important of all, DON'T forget to keep them occupied. REMEMBER. A bored gibbon is a Dangerous Gibbon. Let them watch tv or play with the dvd player. Also, gibbons are fascinated by running water, and will watch a bath run for hours. So. don't deny them this pleasure. I'm sure you'll soon get the hang of it. Thanks again, Calvin PS. Don't forget to delete this email. PPS. We'll be in touch shortly about the ocelots.
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