From another angle -- I grew up in a situation where I was never treated as a child at all -- I was always a "little adult." Basically raised myself and a brother without realizing there was any other way to do things until I got quite a bit older.

I sometimes felt alone -- isolated due to intelligence, due to the odd family situation -- but it never became a refuge until I got into junior high and high school. It was strange, because I was active in sports and music, and wound up with lots of friends, but felt less and less able to really communicate with anyone.



In retrospect, I think this is what damaged me more than anything else. Not just the marriage, but the dozens of other truly horrible relationships I got myself into -- there was a point when it just seemed senseless to even try anymore.



I like the way you phrased this. It makes sense. And I really do see myself in that same boat.

G'morn.{{{Marie}}}I thank U very kindly for reading & posting your feelings & thoughts.Perhaps this thread has hope.lol;)I completely understand what U are saying for we have both shared much of our past w/ each other via e-mail.A great deal of what U have mentioned is applicable from my childhood.Then likewise also as U mentioned these feelings of "aloneness"were compounded later by an ill-fated marriage.I've read somewhere while attending college that one will actually seek a partner later on who possesses the same attributes of those who raised U(for lack of a better term).;( Mercifully however I did have my Grandfather & friends to fall back upon which was my saving grace.If not for them Marie my outcome later on would have been more severe.I am very happy that this "aloneness"scenario worked out to your benefit yet I still feel an ebb & flow of pain & sorrow lying beneath.My greatest adversary that lies entrenched within me now is Fear.My hope then is that I will be able to shed that completely from my life.Haunting memories my dear can also be quite crippling & extremely difficult to shake.I hope that U are now peaceful & content.Oh! btw please do not apologize for U are not rambling at all in fact quite the opposite.Your feedback is the exact compliment for this thread & is exactly what my intentions were to begin with.Your strength & perseverance is admirable dear and U will always be held in my highest regards.Much Luv & Godspeed! Steven.p.s.I hope U were able to read that book that I suggested.{{{{}}}}