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Topic: Do you...
redhead44613 Joined Fri 01/18/08 Posts: 12976	Tue 09/22/09 09:30 AM
There are two things I really wish I didn't have to go through. I don't see how it has helped me out at all. Nope you don't always see it. If anything, they probably made you stronger, or wiser or both. But, sometimes things just are. You can't control it and you can't change it. So regretting is a waste of time and emotion. the 2 things just made me bitter..a lot! No, they didn't make you bitter, you made yourself bitter. There's a distinction. If you allow yourself to become bitter (which is a result of unresolved regret, anger and fear), then it's really your responsibility to find a way to change that. The incidents, whatever they were, are simply incidents. It's how you react to them that makes you bitter. You can choose to wallow in the bitterness, or you can choose to let it go. It's not easy, it might take a lot of work and more pain before you can do that, but it IS possible. And you won't ever regret it. true... the one will take a lot of time but I do not wanna forgive! I just can't

redhead44613 Joined Fri 01/18/08 Posts: 12976	Tue 09/22/09 09:31 AM
I married a threatening, violent, selfish, angry misogynistic sociopath. Huge mistake there. I was warned and did not heed those warnings. when we are in love.. we don't wanna hear it. I know that feeling all to well.

tinydancer01 Joined Wed 08/26/09 Posts: 106	Tue 09/22/09 09:32 AM
i went through similar feelings with someone and it made me bitter for a while but then i found that I am more and that I am special and that no one can take away from me what I dont give them and that is my spirit! u will feel better time heals all wounds.

redhead44613 Joined Fri 01/18/08 Posts: 12976	Tue 09/22/09 09:35 AM
i went through similar feelings with someone and it made me bitter for a while but then i found that I am more and that I am special and that no one can take away from me what I dont give them and that is my spirit! u will feel better time heals all wounds. I tell myself to just get over it, it was in the past but the more I think bout it the more anger I feel towards him. what he did was unforgivable.

Phuque Joined Mon 11/17/08 Posts: 14151	Tue 09/22/09 09:37 AM
If I could do my life over I would do a lot differently. Might be in a better spot then I am now. NEVER live your life with regret...that's the biggest wrong turn you can make. LEARN from the bumps in the road...change what you can...& gracefully accept the rest. Damn! I sound like an old cliche'!

TxsSun Joined Wed 05/20/09 Posts: 14582	Tue 09/22/09 09:38 AM
Ever feel like you took a wrong turn somewhere in your life? WE all take wrong turns or we wouldn't be here. It isn't something to regret though. It is an experience that we grow and learn from.

redhead44613 Joined Fri 01/18/08 Posts: 12976	Tue 09/22/09 09:39 AM
If I could do my life over I would do a lot differently. Might be in a better spot then I am now. NEVER live your life with regret...that's the biggest wrong turn you can make. LEARN from the bumps in the road...change what you can...& gracefully accept the rest. Damn! I sound like an old cliche'! Guess I have lots to learn... keeping turning down the wrong road. wtf?!!?

nelnel6280 Joined Sun 05/03/09 Posts: 1397	Tue 09/22/09 09:39 AM
i went through similar feelings with someone and it made me bitter for a while but then i found that I am more and that I am special and that no one can take away from me what I dont give them and that is my spirit! u will feel better time heals all wounds. I tell myself to just get over it, it was in the past but the more I think bout it the more anger I feel towards him. what he did was unforgivable. You know... I sometimes feel that way... what he did is unforgivable but you can't hang on to the past cause it will only make your future not so good. You just have to learn to move on. It will be the only way to make you happy

tinydancer01 Joined Wed 08/26/09 Posts: 106	Tue 09/22/09 09:41 AM
accept the reality that these htings happend but dont let it cloud and poison ur energy...u can overcome and what he did should not be ur burden anymore...let go of ur burden and release urself only then can u heal and become whole

Gypsy41 Joined Tue 05/15/07 Posts: 123359	Tue 09/22/09 09:41 AM
i went through similar feelings with someone and it made me bitter for a while but then i found that I am more and that I am special and that no one can take away from me what I dont give them and that is my spirit! u will feel better time heals all wounds. I tell myself to just get over it, it was in the past but the more I think bout it the more anger I feel towards him. what he did was unforgivable. You know....we can all tell you to let go of the anger but its ultimately you that needs to make that decision. I hated my ex for 9 years....absolute hatred, vile, black tar hate. And then I woke up one day and decided I was tired of holding all this hate inside me. I forgave him for me not him. I no longer hold onto hate. It just hurts OURSELVES and doesnt affect the other person at all.

SuzinVA Joined Wed 04/25/07 Posts: 28730	Tue 09/22/09 09:41 AM
There are two things I really wish I didn't have to go through. I don't see how it has helped me out at all. Nope you don't always see it. If anything, they probably made you stronger, or wiser or both. But, sometimes things just are. You can't control it and you can't change it. So regretting is a waste of time and emotion. the 2 things just made me bitter..a lot! No, they didn't make you bitter, you made yourself bitter. There's a distinction. If you allow yourself to become bitter (which is a result of unresolved regret, anger and fear), then it's really your responsibility to find a way to change that. The incidents, whatever they were, are simply incidents. It's how you react to them that makes you bitter. You can choose to wallow in the bitterness, or you can choose to let it go. It's not easy, it might take a lot of work and more pain before you can do that, but it IS possible. And you won't ever regret it. true... the one will take a lot of time but I do not wanna forgive! I just can't I didn't say you had to forgive, that's a whole other issue. There are some things I can't forgive either. But, I have learned to make peace with them and I have learned to forgive myself for not being forgiving. I have learned that it's ok not to forgive but that doesn't mean I have to carry it around with me forever.

SKPCG Joined Mon 03/03/08 Posts: 14708	Tue 09/22/09 09:54 AM
So many, but in a weird way, they must have also been right as I feel like everything is the way it is supposed to be, whether in my plans or not.

chrissy613 Joined Mon 09/14/09 Posts: 314	Tue 09/22/09 10:02 AM
When you make the "wrong" turn then for times ahead you can make the "right" turn. I think a wrong turn can put you on the right path...(with some people...if you realized that turn was wrong...)

chrissy613 Joined Mon 09/14/09 Posts: 314	Tue 09/22/09 10:04 AM
So many, but in a weird way, they must have also been right as I feel like everything is the way it is supposed to be, whether in my plans or not. I agree.

Boobella Joined Wed 09/02/09 Posts: 361	Tue 09/22/09 10:11 AM
I've taken so many wrong turns I've done a 360 but I would not change a thing ..learn lot a life lessons and eventually it all turns out ok ...

bedlum1 Joined Tue 05/12/09 Posts: 5335	Tue 09/22/09 03:28 PM
there's no such thing as good or bad , just experiences, how we choose to react to them,,learn or ignore, is what matters one allows you to become bitter the other allows you to grow as a human

motowndowntown Joined Wed 11/19/08 Posts: 21824	Tue 09/22/09 03:32 PM
It's not what you look at but what you see. It's not what you hear but what you listen to.

SuzinVA Joined Wed 04/25/07 Posts: 28730	Tue 09/22/09 03:34 PM
there's no such thing as good or bad , just experiences, how we choose to react to them,,learn or ignore, is what matters one allows you to become bitter the other allows you to grow as a human I wouldn't say ignore, ignoring what's going on doesn't really help at all, it just delays the inevitable. But learning how to cope, how to carry it and how to acknowledge it happened, acknowledge how it affected you and leave it in the past, that's better, I think. The past will sometimes rear its ugly head, but once you've learned how to put it in perspective, it gets easier to put it back where it belongs.

bedlum1 Joined Tue 05/12/09 Posts: 5335	Tue 09/22/09 03:37 PM
there's no such thing as good or bad , just experiences, how we choose to react to them,,learn or ignore, is what matters one allows you to become bitter the other allows you to grow as a human I wouldn't say ignore, ignoring what's going on doesn't really help at all, it just delays the inevitable. But learning how to cope, how to carry it and how to acknowledge it happened, acknowledge how it affected you and leave it in the past, that's better, I think. The past will sometimes rear its ugly head, but once you've learned how to put it in perspective, it gets easier to put it back where it belongs. thats what im sayin what you do with the experience is what has the consequences

SuzinVA Joined Wed 04/25/07 Posts: 28730	Tue 09/22/09 03:39 PM
there's no such thing as good or bad , just experiences, how we choose to react to them,,learn or ignore, is what matters one allows you to become bitter the other allows you to grow as a human I wouldn't say ignore, ignoring what's going on doesn't really help at all, it just delays the inevitable. But learning how to cope, how to carry it and how to acknowledge it happened, acknowledge how it affected you and leave it in the past, that's better, I think. The past will sometimes rear its ugly head, but once you've learned how to put it in perspective, it gets easier to put it back where it belongs. thats what im sayin what you do with the experience is what has the consequences Exactly. We as humans choose how we react to certain things and situations. Yes, we go through some bad stuff, stuff that is horrendous. But we have the choice to find something positive or to wallow in the negative forever.