* I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.



* There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.



* Life is sexually transmitted.



* Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.



* The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth..



* Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.



* Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?



* Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again..



* All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.



* In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.



* How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?



* Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?'



* If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?



* Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?



* Does pushing the elevator button more than once make It arrive faster?



* Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?



* Do you ever wonder why you added me as a friend.?



HOPE I MADE YOU SMILE!!

damn now i'm gonna start thinking about this stuff

Thank's for the first morning laugh. You started my day off right.