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| Topic: So what do you think of this | |
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Edited by
Atlantis75
on
Thu 08/27/09 11:04 PM
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When you know that you could be with someone, you feel you connect and have many in common. You meet the person and later reality comes in, having a giant distance, some sort of situation you can't get out right now, and possibly you know deep down that can't do anything about it.
Somehow you think, maybe month or even a year something might be possible, but you have waited years already and now you met someone once and everything was great but then you had to get back to your life next day and the person is now out of reach and neither you or her can do anything about it? And you are also sick and tired of waiting, but even if you could grap everything and leave now, you gonna screw up your life and possibly hers too, she has a job that she can't quit, and neither you can afford to move around anyway. What to do? Forget about her? |
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Move on. Hop into your Mustang, start 'er up, and boil some hydes as you march on outta there. It ain't gonna help to do anything else.
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Move on, really it's the only way
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wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide :)
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Think you have to decide how you really feel about this person. What is the quality of life you have exchangeing with this person on an intimate level? I am not necessarily talking about sex because believe it or not that does wear out and the relationship/friendship is what is left. Things can be replaced, new jobs can be found. How "empty" is your life alone? Will your true friends and family abandon you because you change location? Will you cease to be who you are living near someone that gives you joy and comfort and meaning to your life? Personally I would move just about anywhere for that. These walls do not hold me, comfort me, love me. I could walk away and most would not even really notice.
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If you have really no way of being able to spend alot of time with this LD person in person, you gotta pull away.
Its just like casting yourself to the wind at random. You truly cant get to know someone, and what they are really like until they are with you often for longer periods anyway. Yeah, Id say save yourself some pain. Move on, and best of luck.
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If you have really no way of being able to spend alot of time with this LD person in person, you gotta pull away. Its just like casting yourself to the wind at random. You truly cant get to know someone, and what they are really like until they are with you often for longer periods anyway. Yeah, Id say save yourself some pain. Move on, and best of luck.
I know her since kindergarten, but never dated her. |
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Edited by
earthytaurus76
on
Thu 08/27/09 11:40 PM
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If you have really no way of being able to spend alot of time with this LD person in person, you gotta pull away. Its just like casting yourself to the wind at random. You truly cant get to know someone, and what they are really like until they are with you often for longer periods anyway. Yeah, Id say save yourself some pain. Move on, and best of luck.
I know her since kindergarten, but never dated her. So have you spent alot of time with her in your adult lives to know eachother as who you two say you are? And do you both know for sure you live by what eachother say by seeing it in action in eachothers lives? Im asking this because I married someone who lived in England I had a ld relationship with for a year. |
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If you have really no way of being able to spend alot of time with this LD person in person, you gotta pull away. Its just like casting yourself to the wind at random. You truly cant get to know someone, and what they are really like until they are with you often for longer periods anyway. Yeah, Id say save yourself some pain. Move on, and best of luck.
I know her since kindergarten, but never dated her. So have you spent alot of time with her in your adult lives to know eachother as who you two say you are? And do you both know for sure you live by what eachother say by seeing it in action in eachothers lives? Im asking this because I married someone who lived in England I had a ld relationship with for a year. No, I only knew her until the end of middle school. Didn't see her again for 15 years, and now she resurfaced and we don't really know each other as adults, but we do know each other from school years, but as I said we never dated, never went out, just someone from the old teen friend- circle. |
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Hm, all I know about long term long distance relationships is..
People can really fool you. I have sat, and had 12 hour long visits, and convos online with the man I married, I had seen him in person several times, I had asked, and probed every question in the book, I reasearched and spoke with his friends, I had spoken with his parents. I spoke with him SEVERAL times a day, cam, and mic chatted with him, allll the time AT LENGTH. When he came over finally from the UK, and finally married me, I found. Hee had poor hygene. He rarely spoke. He was lazy as hell. Rarely changed his clothes. Spent alot of his time chatting with other women online.. (which he hid) Was an alcaholic. Was physically abusive. Mentally abusive. Verbally abusive. He refused to get off his *** and get a job. And his family were elated to be rid of him. He wasnt anything he made himself out to be. So I would say.. be careful with the long distance thing. People are not always what they say they are. You really need to know first hand how people live their life. AND THEN SOME.
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Hm, all I know about long term long distance relationships is.. People can really fool you. I have sat, and had 12 hour long visits, and convos online with the man I married, I had seen him in person several times, I had asked, and probed every question in the book, I reasearched and spoke with his friends, I had spoken with his parents. I spoke with him SEVERAL times a day, cam, and mic chatted with him, allll the time AT LENGTH. When he came over finally from the UK, and finally married me, I found. Hee had poor hygene. He rarely spoke. He was lazy as hell. Rarely changed his clothes. Spent alot of his time chatting with other women online.. (which he hid) Was an alcaholic. Was physically abusive. Mentally abusive. Verbally abusive. He refused to get off his *** and get a job. And his family were elated to be rid of him. He wasnt anything he made himself out to be. So I would say.. be careful with the long distance thing. People are not always what they say they are. You really need to know first hand how people live their life. AND THEN SOME.
Wow.
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Go back to what I said earlier. What do you feel about this person? Are you just romatisizing a fantasy or do you have real feelings? There is something to be said for what feels like "home" in a person. Many people do return to old friends later in life and have lasting relationships in their mid and later life.
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If you have really no way of being able to spend alot of time with this LD person in person, you gotta pull away. Its just like casting yourself to the wind at random. You truly cant get to know someone, and what they are really like until they are with you often for longer periods anyway. Yeah, Id say save yourself some pain. Move on, and best of luck.
I know her since kindergarten, but never dated her. So have you spent alot of time with her in your adult lives to know eachother as who you two say you are? And do you both know for sure you live by what eachother say by seeing it in action in eachothers lives? Im asking this because I married someone who lived in England I had a ld relationship with for a year. No, I only knew her until the end of middle school. Didn't see her again for 15 years, and now she resurfaced and we don't really know each other as adults, but we do know each other from school years, but as I said we never dated, never went out, just someone from the old teen friend- circle. It's common to do a lot of changing when you reach adulthood, so she's probably nothing like you remember her. Last year I tried to rekindle old friendships that had ended when we were children, and I had to end them again- we had changed too much. |
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Hm, all I know about long term long distance relationships is.. People can really fool you. I have sat, and had 12 hour long visits, and convos online with the man I married, I had seen him in person several times, I had asked, and probed every question in the book, I reasearched and spoke with his friends, I had spoken with his parents. I spoke with him SEVERAL times a day, cam, and mic chatted with him, allll the time AT LENGTH. When he came over finally from the UK, and finally married me, I found. Hee had poor hygene. He rarely spoke. He was lazy as hell. Rarely changed his clothes. Spent alot of his time chatting with other women online.. (which he hid) Was an alcaholic. Was physically abusive. Mentally abusive. Verbally abusive. He refused to get off his *** and get a job. And his family were elated to be rid of him. He wasnt anything he made himself out to be. So I would say.. be careful with the long distance thing. People are not always what they say they are. You really need to know first hand how people live their life. AND THEN SOME.
Wow.
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Hm, all I know about long term long distance relationships is.. People can really fool you. I have sat, and had 12 hour long visits, and convos online with the man I married, I had seen him in person several times, I had asked, and probed every question in the book, I reasearched and spoke with his friends, I had spoken with his parents. I spoke with him SEVERAL times a day, cam, and mic chatted with him, allll the time AT LENGTH. When he came over finally from the UK, and finally married me, I found. Hee had poor hygene. He rarely spoke. He was lazy as hell. Rarely changed his clothes. Spent alot of his time chatting with other women online.. (which he hid) Was an alcaholic. Was physically abusive. Mentally abusive. Verbally abusive. He refused to get off his *** and get a job. And his family were elated to be rid of him. He wasnt anything he made himself out to be. So I would say.. be careful with the long distance thing. People are not always what they say they are. You really need to know first hand how people live their life. AND THEN SOME.
[/quote I think every person who considers meeting someone from another area especially another country needs to have to copy this 100 times so they really get the risk they are taking. If you do not go and spend time with them in their environment, meet their friends and family this is exactly what you can end up with. When I suggest going to a new place I am not suggesting jusmping out of the skillet into the fire. You have to plan and be smart. |
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Edited by
Atlantis75
on
Fri 08/28/09 12:06 AM
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Go back to what I said earlier. What do you feel about this person? Are you just romatisizing a fantasy or do you have real feelings? There is something to be said for what feels like "home" in a person. Many people do return to old friends later in life and have lasting relationships in their mid and later life. Well, I always liked her, but not more, and actually like her better now than back then. She had a hard lesson she learned from a failed relationship, never married, she went through pretty much what I went through when we talked. And no, not internet meeting, we met in person. |
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Hm, all I know about long term long distance relationships is.. People can really fool you. I have sat, and had 12 hour long visits, and convos online with the man I married, I had seen him in person several times, I had asked, and probed every question in the book, I reasearched and spoke with his friends, I had spoken with his parents. I spoke with him SEVERAL times a day, cam, and mic chatted with him, allll the time AT LENGTH. When he came over finally from the UK, and finally married me, I found. Hee had poor hygene. He rarely spoke. He was lazy as hell. Rarely changed his clothes. Spent alot of his time chatting with other women online.. (which he hid) Was an alcaholic. Was physically abusive. Mentally abusive. Verbally abusive. He refused to get off his *** and get a job. And his family were elated to be rid of him. He wasnt anything he made himself out to be. So I would say.. be careful with the long distance thing. People are not always what they say they are. You really need to know first hand how people live their life. AND THEN SOME.
[/quote I think every person who considers meeting someone from another area especially another country needs to have to copy this 100 times so they really get the risk they are taking. If you do not go and spend time with them in their environment, meet their friends and family this is exactly what you can end up with. When I suggest going to a new place I am not suggesting jusmping out of the skillet into the fire. You have to plan and be smart. O baby, you know it. It gets hard when you feel in love with someone.. I mean, now.. its always a great deal of a mtter of KNOWING, and SEEING everyday this person in my lifes actions, and if they are moral if I am to consider anything committed, or realisticly close emotionally to really know someone. |
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Some things are better left on fantasy island.
You have been thinking about this since,,, ummmm, KINDERGARTEN? OMG! Get over it, and her. |
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You need to stop.
And consider this.... what is the potential that you have romanticized and/or fantasized what or who you think this woman is? If neither of you are in the right place... there is a reason for it. |
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Edited by
Atlantis75
on
Fri 08/28/09 11:24 AM
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Some things are better left on fantasy island. You have been thinking about this since,,, ummmm, KINDERGARTEN? OMG! Get over it, and her. You are completely misunderstanding the entire thing. There is no "fantasy" since kindergarten. Why don't you read over my replies instead of just butting into the conversation? You need to stop.
And consider this.... what is the potential that you have romanticized and/or fantasized what or who you think this woman is? If neither of you are in the right place... there is a reason for it. And then you follow up. Again. READ from the start, not from someone else's reply. Here is the breakdown for the simple minded mire, for Christ's sake: 1. I knew her since kindergarten. 2. I didn't see her for 15 years. 3. I didn't think of her, didn't care, I had 4 girlfriends ever since 4. I just met her again, we met for one night (talking) for 6 hrs. 5. Now she is more than just a friend, but I don't love her. Get it? |
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