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Topic: When did you know you were a racist?
BonnyMiss's photo
Sat 08/29/09 06:57 AM

I'll share with u a few stories from my 2 boys concernin race an racism. When my 10 yr old was 3 he came to me one afternoon an said, Mama I wanna go outside an play with the chocolate boy. He'd never heard the word black or African/American u see. He'd always gone to a very racial diverse day care from the time he was 6 weeks old. I've always intentionally sent him to a racially diverse day care. Believe me, it ain't easy to find around here. One day I picked him up from day care, he must've been around 4 or 5. The day care teacher pulled me aside an told me he had learned a new word that day. N#gger. Guess who he learned it from? The lil gangster wannabes. They always went around sayin "what up N#gger" to each other. He didn't understand the supposed meanin behind it when a person of his color used the word. He was just tryin to be like his friends.
My youngest child asked me not to long ago. Mama, am I white? I simply told him. No, ur more of a off white, creamy beige.
To put it in a nutshell, my children are learnin racism from the very group that should be teachin him tolerance an acceptance of all people.
I grew up bein taught that a person's skin color was only a description of their physical self, not the person themselves. I'm doin my utmost to make sure my boys are learnin that same thing, but sometimes it's real hard when they're the ones experiencin the racism themselves. shades


My heart bleeds, Martin Luther King fought for Black people to gain recogition and the abolition of the "N" word.Yet, not so long into the century we have the very same people this noble man sacrificed his life for taking his efforts back to the grass roots level! I agree with Bill Cosby on most of what he says about today's youth, but that's another thread...........

no photo
Sun 11/08/09 03:08 PM

For me it was kind of reversed and backwards. I started out not being a racist and then finally became a racist. laugh

Allow me to share my story.

When I was a very young child (under 9 years old), it became very clear to me that my father was a very strong racists toward African-Americans in particular. I vividly noticed this because anytime I would react in a friendly manner toward a black child he would take conniptions like as if I had done something really bad.

Even as young as I was I used to ask my mother what his problem was with black people. What did they ever do to him, I would ask. She told me that he wasn't racists before he wet into the service. But he want to war in WWII in the Philippines and when he returned he hated black people with a passion for some reason. You'd think a war would draw people on the same side together, but evidently it didn't work that way in this case.

Anyway, my father died when I was 9 years old, so that was the end of that. I wasn't the slightest bit racists after that until I turned about 40. Up to that time I actually had quite many black friends and also worked with many black coworkers, all of whom I got along with just fine.

When I was about 40 I was working for a company. They decided to send all of their workers to a 3-day seminar called "Racial Diversity". It was mandatory and everyone had to attend. I seriously would have skipped out on it altogether if it wasn't mandatory because I already knew that I wasn't racists. I even told this to a coworker at the time and he replied saying, "Well don't worry, after you attend this seminar you will be a racist". I laughed, but by his mannerism I could see that he was being quite serious.

I attended the seminar. The lecturer was a black man. And I mean black. He was as black as black can be. Extremely dark skin color. He also wore very bright white shirt that could blind you to truly emphasize the contrast. I swear he did this on purpose. And the very first thing he did at that meeting was to stand up in front of everyone, pause for a while looking everyone directly in the eye as he scanned the room, and then almost like one of those Southern Baptist preacher he pointed at everyone and proclaimed in a very loud stern voice, "Every single one of you is a racist!"

I confess that I was already instantly peeved at the charge. Who is he to stand there and demand that everyone is a racist when he has no clue who he is even talking to?

Then he went in to a big long lecture that was full of old worn-out clichés and bigoted assumptions that are already a form of prejudice in their own right. I couldn't help by 'roll my eyes' to some of the things that he was saying. And that didn't go unnoticed by him. On the contrary he started picking on me. I mean he started talking directly at me far more than he was looking at other people. I could feel a personal confrontation coming on and I hadn't even said a word.

Then he said something that caused me to roll my eyes again and even crack a smile. I just couldn't help it. He was complaining that in Georgia there is a 'one-drop rule' still on the books that demands that anyone who has one-drop of African blood in their history is considered to be a 'black person'.

My first reaction was why this bothered him so much. He couldn't be blacker if he tried, so a one-drop rule isn't going to have anything to do with him anyway. But another reason for my reaction was because we were in Pennsylvania. What does Georgia have to do with Pennsylvania. If he's concerned about the laws in Georgia why doesn't he go to Georgia and complain about it? We're not Georgian legislators.

He actually did confront me at that time and ask me what was on my mind and I shared with him some of my above thoughts. This only caused him to become even more focused on me and he was standing over me (towering over me at about 7 foot tall). I'm tall at 6' 2", but he was at least a foot taller than me.

Anyone he's taking advantage of this towering physique to look down at me and basically chastising me for being so unconcerned about racism. But that's not true anyway. If I were in Georgia I'd vote against racism if I could. He's jumping to all sorts of wrong conclusions.

Then he started talking about 'respecting customs' of other cultures, etc. And this is when he started to talk about the "Black Community". He was going on about this for quite sometime, and I tried not to roll my eyes the best I could but at points I just couldn't help myself. Once again he approached me, and confronted me about why I keep rolling my eyes. I told him that I thought this was supposed to be a seminar against racism and now you're talking about the "Black Community". To me that just sounds like a form of segregation. Should we denounce that very term and start talking about the "Human Community".

He looked at me with eyes that looked they belonged to Satan himself and shouted, "You just don't get it! It's all about racial "DIVERSITY". Well, I really couldn't help myself at that point. I rolled my eyes right then and there as he was standing just inches away form me. It was just a natural reaction honest! I wasn't trying to piss him off.

I just truly didn't understand. One the one hand he claims to be wanting to do away with 'racism' and on the other hand he's demanding a recognition of a "Black Community". To me that just seems like a total oxymoron, and from my point of view whoever designed this whole 'Racial Diversity" program seems to have some sort of plans to create an atmosphere of more segregation rather than less.

Well, the seminar finally ended and I was really glad it was over. I returned to the workplace and my coworker asked me what I thought of it. I told him he was right. I never thought I could become a racist but now I'm having second thoughts.

Even to this very day I disagree with the whole idea of dividing things up into a "White Community" and a "Black Community". How is that going to solve racism?

I think we should create a brand new program called "Human Diversity" and just talk about the "Human Community" and just leave race out of it altogether.

So that's been my experience with racism. On a personal level I've always gotten along with everyone just fine.

Just as a footnote: My coworker was indeed right. The racial tension in our workplace seemed to increase after that mandatory seminar rather than decrease. It also got people thinking about race when prior to attending that seminar they weren't even thinking about race at all. I know it had that effect on me. I would have been far better off if I had never experienced that seminar. Trust me.



Wow, I read this post combusting myself through it with laughter. If you rolled your eyes at me that many times, I'd think you're doing it to piss me off lol. Thanks for sharing this experiance. Believe it or not, I could identify with a lot of what you are talking about; not because I am white - I hope it's clear i'm not - but because there was a time when I too questioned the idea of "Black community", or why there was so much talk of "Black this, black that", and a lack of equivalents for the whites. Never once heard of "white community."

This is perhaps a rare point of view, coming from someone who would be expected to share the same views with those who see things as "Black" this, and black other. But my point of view is thankfully as a result of my background, having come from Africa, and therefore I have an advantage of a different POV. In Africa, there's no talk of black. You can describe someone as being black, but that would only be in relation to their skin tone, as opposed to the person 'black'. So therefore, the word black in western world represents another race, and it is easily seen as such due to the differences in skin colour. It is therefore largely , in the presence of white, that Black automatically becomes 'Black people' hence the other, hence the black race.

Towards the end of your post, you state your wish for a "Human Diversity". Well, perhaps what you are saying is you would rather people stopped identifying themselves by the colour of their skin, and just be. That sadly would only be good as a wish or a dream. However good a wish it is, it largely ignores the fact that for there to be Black amidst white, black did not arrive there by accident. In fact, it did not arrive there in good terms. This is not a slavery rebellion but trying to put my thoughts across in context. Human diversity has always existed, but unfortunately, one group of humans has historically attributed differences to personalities and characters. Therefore,it could be argued that most socially changing ideas be it law, policy or research that have emanated without due regard of distortions such as those which link skin colour to behaviour,chararacter etc.. are racially exclusive by virtue of failing to take into account the views and contributions of those who are viewed only as a colour or a different and perhaps unworthy people due to colour.

For example if there was a community consultation on building a hospital, researchers who attribute behaviour/character/personalities or even particular tragedies to skin colour might say to black people that the community needs a new hospital in order to combat the rise of HIV epidemic for example. What they would fail to say to them - because they don't think it would matter to them or they don't think it's worth it - and say to the whites is that as part of such and such government programme, the hospital (perhaps amongst many other options) was being considered as one of the ways to increase employment, given the increase in health related qualifications. Therefore, you'd find everyone voting for the go ahead, but for different reasons altogether. You might find blacks voting due to disease prevention or treatment reasons but less likely due to the possibility of a career, perhaps due to historical differences in employment or even schooling chances(which would probably have been hampered by some form of racialisation). Whites on the other hand would less likely vote on the basis of HIV prevalence, because they believe it is a disease for the blacks, perhaps because the media has concentrated its effort on highlighting this (this i believe was the case in the 80's, with gay people being demonised), and they couldn't have been given that as the major reason. But because they would all vote indipendently for different reasons, the hospital would eventually be built. However, blacks would see it as a place for treatment, and whites would see it as both a place for treatment and somewhere where someone can aspire to work one day. This is a silly example, but hope the point is clear.

The black community therefore is not a self secluding community, but a forum (so to speak) that recognises the already existing divisions in the society as a result of historical reasons, and continuing attitudes and therefore this group would seek to come up with ideas where it appears that the greater society does not cater for their needs, or has continued to see them as a coloured people thereby failing to considered their worth even, after identifying them as a such and linking this to the people that they are or can/cannot be. It is no surprise to me that there is talk of a black man and a nigger. A black man is seen as the one who chooses not to let things bother him, and just does what he ought to do to live this life where we all live then die. He, I believe has crafted himself an inner self belief, that no matter what, he is not going to let other people make him into a nigger. He expresses his displeasure but he does it differently. He for one, sees himself as a person first. He will address his problems by looking inside of him and examining whether he has done his best. He uses the right channel to settle differences. This man is more likely to take you to court.

On the other hand, enter the nigger world. He for one does not see himself as a person but as a nigger. He expresses his problems by relating to a greater oppression out there, whether he has been directly oppressed or not. To him, the external is why he is the way he is. Perhaps also for him, he was brought up by parents who never saw themselves as people. He therefore sees himself as the beast the society has created him to be, and he is happy in that identity because he has nothing to prove, and no reputation to protect: his name was spoilt before birth. This man is likely to gun you than take you to court where he believes he will not get a fair trial. That is how a sub-culture is born out of a culture. For the subculture to end, there has to be some form of normalisation. Whites must begin to see blacks as people, and blacks must begin to see themselves and whites as people.

If a group of white people would be forcefully planted in Africa, and then a belief instilled amongst Africans that the group of whites is somehow inferior, it is likely that that group will begin to either accept that, or fight to change those perceptions. But being that they will be a minority, they might struggle so much to get themselves heard, especially if the inferior mindset is not overturned by those who begun instilling it in the first place. It has been the work of blacks to prove themselves worthy, than the work of those who made them worthless to change mindsets. No doubt a lot has been done, but never be so naive to think that just because you've never been racist, other people aren't. Also, don't be so naive to think that to be racist you have to literally be a racist. You can call me nigger all you like, but do not allow your racist mind to influence the chances of me becoming the best I can be either by doing or not doing. This is why believe it or not, laws are enacted that make it a duty for public bodies to exercise due regard of peoples race, sexuality, sex, etc. Why is this so? Because if not, people will not make it their business to include others that have been secluded before due to physical or behavioural differences. Don't forget that the reason why a lot of people cannot kill you is not because it is morally wrong, but more because it is liiegal to do so. That says a lot right? That in my books is what racism is. Words such as niggers only serve to identify people who are potentially racist, and for me, they are the gateway to being actively racist.

As an African studying in UK, I just feel sorry for people who have to grow up seing themselves as people who they have been constructed to be, but not who they really are. I know that this is a world I can choose to leave back at the drop of a hat, but i'm equally aware that nature might see me having a mixed race child,and now what? Should I bring him up to be the person people expect him to be because they have a certain expectation of "Black kids"? or the person who he can be. One thing i'm happy with about America is that by a majority vote, people showed that differences can be ignored. A very good step ahead.

msharmony's photo
Sun 11/08/09 03:37 PM
The black community therefore is not a self secluding community, but a forum (so to speak) that recognises the already existing divisions in the society as a result of historical reasons, and continuing attitudes and therefore this group would seek to come up with ideas where it appears that the greater society does not cater for their needs, or has continued to see them as a coloured people thereby failing to considered their worth even, after identifying them as a such and linking this to the people that they are or can/cannot be. It is no surprise to me that there is talk of a black man and a nigger.....


Thank you, this is a great reply. I am very anti racist but I understand what is meant when the term 'black community' is used. It is a reflection of the reality of how things are not a choice to be separate.

msharmony's photo
Sun 11/08/09 03:48 PM
My personal theory on racism is MOST americans have it inside of them somewhere, it just might not be hateful. But we are raised with images and books that have images and stories about predominately one group so as to associate that group as the dominant or successful group. As children we internalize images, whether we like it or not. As adults though, with more experience, we can choose to de program ourselves of these correlations.

As to the hatefulness though, its either in you or it isnt. I would NEVER have it in me to use a racial slur about another person because of their character,, my mind would turn to any number of adjectives that describe character in any race. I have a sensitivity to adults who blame one event or one string of events for turning them 'racist'. I had this situation with my soon to be ex, who is white, and I NEVER thought he was racist. But wouldnt you know , the moment I expressed my desire for a divorce, you can guess what I suddenly became,,,,,,, he tried to claim it was referring to my behavior too,, but thats BS(sorry for the french). He behaved poorly himself on several occasions and I still never called him that slur or any other that is racial in nature.


jrbogie's photo
Mon 11/09/09 02:59 AM
having been born in houston i was raised by racist parents and learned what they taught me well. wasn't cured of my hateful disease until vietnam. not perfect today but i make every effort to remain color blind.

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