Vengeance seems to be a great struggle for me. I find vengeance very healing and extremely satisfying. Im not a jealous or possesive man, I refuse to instigate a quarrel nor will i be a slooth foot. The only tribulation left in my own struggle is the over whelming urge to be vendicated in every wrong that has ever presented itself in my life. With my own feelings, it seems that when an opposer clinches a fist, i pick up a stone. When they spark a word with their iron tounge, i pick up a megaphone.

Its a struggle ive been cursed with my whole life, im only human, but in time my struggle will end when there is no need for vengeance, when other human beings realize there is no need for quarrel in the first place

how telling that your behavior will change ONLY when others change, first....Do you not posses the strength to affect this change on your own......



my struggle will end when there is no need for vengeance, when other human beings realize there is no need for quarrel

I have to agree with ddn. If people waited for the world to change before they did, there would be no change.

I have one of those 'favorite quotes' that makes everyone cringe, but it is one I keep posted at my desk.

"We must become the change we want to see" - Mother Teresa

Thats why its a struggle, its a hurdle thats hard to eclipse, i dont know whether i do or not, its a weakness of mine i know. Hell im Italian lol, we invented the word Vendetta for cryin out loud lol

Thats nothing but a copout When I was young I struggled too but I learned and got past it .Anyone can with intelligence and conviction .Man up and do what you know is right !

agreeing with the others..

When you change the way you look at things, things change.

Right on....i like this saying;

"Your willpower is so much less effective than your imagination. "

Wayne Dyer....wise man.

While you may not instigate any quarrels you do perpetuate. The saying goes "it takes two." I would have much more respect, and be drawn to, a person that can turn the other cheek/take the high road and use their intelligence and self control to defuse a situation rather than anger and brute force to settle the score.
It might be in your best interest to learn how to manage your need for vengence.

From my experience , vengeance is really bad . It can cause lots of trouble and also it is not healthy .

How far are you willing to go to improve yourself in this area? I think everyone has something to gain from deliberate self examination While I don't accept many of the theories of modern psychologists, some of the techniques they advocate (as in: read some books on this) for learning to understand the interplay of your thoughts, feelings, motivations, and actions can be helpful. And if you are really up for a challenge you can try something like this: http://www.dhamma.org/

Vindication can be a harsh master, do you do like the old quote says?: "Revenge is a dish best served COLD"

I'm not sure as to what you want to know...how to purge yourself or just sharing?