PARENT - Job Description

This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way,
I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!!

POSITION :
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION :

*Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an,
often chaotic environment.
*Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational
skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent
24 hour shifts on call.
*Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping
sites on rainy weekends and

endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
*Travel expenses not reimbursed.
*Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES :

*The rest of your life.
*Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs
$5.
*Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
*Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to
go from zero to 60 mph

in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the
backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
*Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small
gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish

toilets and stuck zippers.
*Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production
of multiple homework projects.

*Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of
all ages and mental outlooks.
*Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, and embarrassment the
next.
*Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million
cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated

devices.
*Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
*Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end
product.
*Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work
throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :

*None.
*Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without
complaining, constantly retraining and

updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately
surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :

*None required unfortunately.
*On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :

*Get this! You pay them!
*Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
*A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption
that college will help them
become financially independent.
*When you die, you give them whatever is left.
*The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually
enjoy it and wish you could

only do more.

BENEFITS :

*While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition
reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless
opportunities for personal growth
and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

Oh-but when they hug and love on you-you forget about all the other-my
thought anyway-I think they are the best

Good job description, but the benefits make it sooooooooooo worth while.
Especially when you see them smile, or hear them laugh, or watch them do
something good that makes you feel so damn proud.

Hippy, your post show the real you.
Keep them coming dear