hMMMMMMM lets see what I have in there.........

Latex gloves

ibuprophen

aerius

various tanning bed candy

789789 pens

date book

gum.....2 kinds

pic comb

credit cards

money

ID

keys

cell

hand lotion

eye liner

lipstick

lip gloss

1 fabulous tampon



and a rock

No spiders.........



































YET!!!

Dear diary........wasssssssssssup with all these women with GIGANTIC MAMMARY GLANDS!!!

Where was I when they were handing them out???

<<---dumps purse contents on floor Vacuum in hand


hmmm
pens
lip gloss
wallet
cell phone
ID
tissue
one glorious tampon
40065789 lighters
semi dead spider
tissue
keys
hair clips
hair elastics
troll
numchucks
photos
shoes
hat
hoodie
can opener
hand lotion
basket ball
phone book
Italian foot ball team
papers
* Bonus ...theres a joint in there!!

celery
milk
frozen turkey
febreeze
frying pan
gas station attendant
coupons

BARBER:
I wanted to be... a lumberjack!

Leaping from tree to tree, as they float down the mighty rivers of British Columbia. The Giant Redwood. The Larch. The Fir! The mighty Scots Pine! The lofty flowering Cherry! The plucky little Apsen! The limping Roo tree of Nigeria. The towering Wattle of Aldershot! The Maidenhead Weeping Water Plant! The naughty Leicestershire Flashing Oak! The flatulent Elm of West Ruislip! The Quercus Maximus Bamber Gascoigni! The Epigillus! The Barter Hughius Greenus!

With my best buddy by my side, we'd sing! Sing! Sing!

[singing]
I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay.
I sleep all night and I work all day.

MOUNTIES:
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

BARBER:
I cut down trees. I eat my lunch.
I go to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays I go shoppin'
And have buttered scones for tea.

MOUNTIES:
He cuts down trees. He eats his lunch.
He goes to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays he goes shopping
And has buttered scones for tea.

He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

BARBER:
I cut down trees. I skip and jump.
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing
And hang around in bars.

MOUNTIES:
He cuts down trees. He skips and jumps.
He likes to press wild flowers.
He puts on women's clothing
And hangs around in bars?!

He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

BARBER:
I cut down trees. I wear high heels,
Suspendies, and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie,
Just like my dear Papa.

MOUNTIES:
He cuts down trees. He wears high heels,
Suspendies, and a bra?!

[talking]
What's this? Wants to be a girlie?! Oh, My!
And I thought you were so rugged! Poofter!...

[singing]
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

He's a lumberjack, and he's okaaaaay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

Hey!!!! A peanut butter and jelly sammich!!!!

help your self !
its only a couple of months old

I see tuna

I see france

I see chevy's underpants!!!

I see Bob
I see Guido
sure would hate to
see them
in their SPEEDO!!

I see Larry

I see Stan

I see

the

UNDERWEAR MAN!!

I see Semour I see the Grinch
I don wanna
see their GINCH!!

I see Bob

I see Andy

why is he wearing

a hello kitty panty???

I seee Jimmy I seee Tex
wonder whens the last time
the had any sex

Dear diary.........Ive decided to marry Tommy Lee......based solely on the size of his penish!!!

I musta left them there

I see john

I see mark

what is that........a skid ....bark?

the streaks where brown the smears where yellow
surely not a very clean fellow

Gonchies here

Gonchies there

why do I have so many

man underwear???

when up on the roof arouse such a clatter
I threw him some shorts to contain the splatter
when what before my wondering eyes should appear
Mr Hanky on a sleigh an a giant pooo smear

I do not know

If it is a curse

what is that a bum hair

wafting from my purse???