Topic: He is an IDIOT!
Quietman_2009's photo
Tue 08/11/09 09:54 AM
about all you can really do is be sure to be around later when she finally dumps him and say

"I told you so, I told you so"

franshade's photo
Tue 08/11/09 09:55 AM

Well she did tell me that she would like me to look at it when he is not around. But the thing is he is ALWAYS around. So in reality I can see him getting her to take it in before I even get a chance to look at it. She stopped the argument yesterday by saying that she did not want to see her best friend and boyfriend arguing. I have already told myself as long as he is in her place I am not going over at all. I am there to visit my friend not some ******* that thinks he is better then anybody else.

Then the problem is solved, you look at and attempt to fix computer when he is not around, no need for your personal input on what you think of her b/f flowerforyou

earthytaurus76's photo
Tue 08/11/09 09:55 AM
Im pretty sure she knows better than you or anyone else hes a douchebag.


Accept it, or move on.

whispertoascream's photo
Tue 08/11/09 09:57 AM

Im pretty sure she knows better than you or anyone else hes a douchebag.


Accept it, or move on.
You really are not good at the whole friendship thing are you? I remember you telling me before to walk away from a friend that was in need.

yellowrose10's photo
Tue 08/11/09 09:58 AM

Well she did tell me that she would like me to look at it when he is not around. But the thing is he is ALWAYS around. So in reality I can see him getting her to take it in before I even get a chance to look at it. She stopped the argument yesterday by saying that she did not want to see her best friend and boyfriend arguing. I have already told myself as long as he is in her place I am not going over at all. I am there to visit my friend not some ******* that thinks he is better then anybody else.


have you told her this though? wouldn't she question why you won't come over?

no photo
Tue 08/11/09 10:00 AM



I want to tell my friend so bad that her boyfriend is a complete and udder douche. But at the same time I do not want to be the one to tell her. Because then I will end up being the friend that she feels like she cannot turn to when she has a problem.

I was there Sunday after noon until late last night. And the whole time I had to listen to his no-it-all attitude. Everything he says is right he is never wrong and is now about to cost my friend a bunch of money that I know she does not have. Her computer was messing up on her and I knew it was a simple fix. Something I could of had done in like 20 minutes. He sat on the computer for almost 2 hours doing who knows what to it. Not allowing me anywhere near it. Two hours of him working on it did not fix. I even offered him suggestions to how to fix it, and he would not listen to me at all. ended with him shutting the computer down and him telling my friend, a single mother with no job that she has to take her computer in and that it was unusable. Now she thinks she has to spend all this money to have it repaired. She has an Autistic son who's one quirck is the computer.

This is just one example. I cannot see somebody that I care about live like this. I am just not sure, should I tell her how I feel, or should I just sit back. But sitting back and watching my best and dearest friend is not something I think I can do.

Any suggestions at all?


I'd stay out of it, the best way to ruin a friendship is over a guy/girl that the other person is into. And the bad thing is, once they make up, you're the bad guy. I'd let her know that I'm there for her, but as for telling her the guy is a jerk, either she already knows that and doesn't care, or she'll think you're being a b!tch for saying that.
And see that is how I see as well. Thank you. It is just so hard to sit and watch.


yeah i know, i've been there. but when they're in it, they don't want to see it. sometimes they don't want to see it when it's over, but when they're "in love" it's really sad.

whispertoascream's photo
Tue 08/11/09 10:01 AM


Well she did tell me that she would like me to look at it when he is not around. But the thing is he is ALWAYS around. So in reality I can see him getting her to take it in before I even get a chance to look at it. She stopped the argument yesterday by saying that she did not want to see her best friend and boyfriend arguing. I have already told myself as long as he is in her place I am not going over at all. I am there to visit my friend not some ******* that thinks he is better then anybody else.

Then the problem is solved, you look at and attempt to fix computer when he is not around, no need for your personal input on what you think of her b/f flowerforyou
Thank you Fran flowerforyou but I was just using that as one expample. there are so many other things I see that just keeps bringing her down. I mean yes sure I could sit back and watch. But I know how depressed she gets over men. And when there are children involved I just do not want to see it.

earthytaurus76's photo
Tue 08/11/09 10:04 AM
Edited by earthytaurus76 on Tue 08/11/09 10:04 AM


Im pretty sure she knows better than you or anyone else hes a douchebag.


Accept it, or move on.
You really are not good at the whole friendship thing are you? I remember you telling me before to walk away from a friend that was in need.


Im not the one who has the friend problems, this is the second time YOU dont know what to do with YOUR friends.

Dont project your problems onto me.

If you dont want answers or opinions, dont ask in a public forum.

Noones interestd in your slightness or insults.

whispertoascream's photo
Tue 08/11/09 10:04 AM


Well she did tell me that she would like me to look at it when he is not around. But the thing is he is ALWAYS around. So in reality I can see him getting her to take it in before I even get a chance to look at it. She stopped the argument yesterday by saying that she did not want to see her best friend and boyfriend arguing. I have already told myself as long as he is in her place I am not going over at all. I am there to visit my friend not some ******* that thinks he is better then anybody else.


have you told her this though? wouldn't she question why you won't come over?
If I ever got two minutes alone with her then I would. Only time we really got to talk was online, and well now that is not possible. I could call her but know he will be right there listening to her end of the conversation.

Quietman_2009's photo
Tue 08/11/09 10:05 AM



Well she did tell me that she would like me to look at it when he is not around. But the thing is he is ALWAYS around. So in reality I can see him getting her to take it in before I even get a chance to look at it. She stopped the argument yesterday by saying that she did not want to see her best friend and boyfriend arguing. I have already told myself as long as he is in her place I am not going over at all. I am there to visit my friend not some ******* that thinks he is better then anybody else.


have you told her this though? wouldn't she question why you won't come over?
If I ever got two minutes alone with her then I would. Only time we really got to talk was online, and well now that is not possible. I could call her but know he will be right there listening to her end of the conversation.


hahaha you can use that if you want to

just say "is that dumbass there?" so he can hear

yellowrose10's photo
Tue 08/11/09 10:07 AM



Well she did tell me that she would like me to look at it when he is not around. But the thing is he is ALWAYS around. So in reality I can see him getting her to take it in before I even get a chance to look at it. She stopped the argument yesterday by saying that she did not want to see her best friend and boyfriend arguing. I have already told myself as long as he is in her place I am not going over at all. I am there to visit my friend not some ******* that thinks he is better then anybody else.


have you told her this though? wouldn't she question why you won't come over?
If I ever got two minutes alone with her then I would. Only time we really got to talk was online, and well now that is not possible. I could call her but know he will be right there listening to her end of the conversation.


gotcha. personally....I would rather have someone tell me how they feel. there is a difference between telling someone and shoving it down their throat (make sense?) I would tell her your feelings and that to keep peace, you don't want to be around him....but it's up to her to decide what to do. she needs to respect how you feel and you need to understand that you can't make her do anything if she doesn't want to. just how I would feel. it's never easy when it's someone you care about but if you 2 have honesty and trust...then use that and say something to her without attacking. good luck

franshade's photo
Tue 08/11/09 10:07 AM



Well she did tell me that she would like me to look at it when he is not around. But the thing is he is ALWAYS around. So in reality I can see him getting her to take it in before I even get a chance to look at it. She stopped the argument yesterday by saying that she did not want to see her best friend and boyfriend arguing. I have already told myself as long as he is in her place I am not going over at all. I am there to visit my friend not some ******* that thinks he is better then anybody else.

Then the problem is solved, you look at and attempt to fix computer when he is not around, no need for your personal input on what you think of her b/f flowerforyou
Thank you Fran flowerforyou but I was just using that as one expample. there are so many other things I see that just keeps bringing her down. I mean yes sure I could sit back and watch. But I know how depressed she gets over men. And when there are children involved I just do not want to see it.


True, when in a relationship most people only see what they want to see, you as an outsider see more than they care to admit to. Just remain her friend and be there for her.

It is hard, but if you get involved she may feel she has to chose. Another decision left to her, can make things worse.

I do see your point of view flowerforyou jmo


whispertoascream's photo
Tue 08/11/09 10:16 AM
I guess I just do not want to lose her again. I mean I already lost her once to a guy. Then She told me the horror stories about it. I felt totally helpless. I just do not want to see it happen again.

yellowrose10's photo
Tue 08/11/09 10:18 AM
Edited by yellowrose10 on Tue 08/11/09 10:19 AM

I guess I just do not want to lose her again. I mean I already lost her once to a guy. Then She told me the horror stories about it. I felt totally helpless. I just do not want to see it happen again.


if it happened once...it will probably happen again. just know that you were still there for her when she realized what the person was like. and maybe you could tell her that. just say you don't want to hurt her or lose her but you feel (for your own sanity) that you need to say how you feel. then the ball is in her court

no photo
Tue 08/11/09 10:21 AM
most of the time people regret things they do not do......not things they do....


most of the time

no photo
Tue 08/11/09 11:08 AM

most of the time people regret things they do not do......not things they do....


most of the time
YES THIS IS TRUE.........

Inlikeflynn78's photo
Tue 08/11/09 11:08 AM
First of all he sounds like a tweeked out dildo. Really all you can do is be a friend to her. Sometimes being a friend means doing things that you know are right that are initially aren't going to be recieved well. I think you can speak your piece to him, you dont have to take his ****, your not dating him. Just dont judge her for dating the retard, be supportive and strong. She'll learn her lesson evenyually

AndyBgood's photo
Tue 08/11/09 11:21 AM
Edited by AndyBgood on Tue 08/11/09 11:22 AM

I guess I just do not want to lose her again. I mean I already lost her once to a guy. Then She told me the horror stories about it. I felt totally helpless. I just do not want to see it happen again.


Unfortunately some people do not learn from past mistakes. Some men thrive on passive and needful women and likewise thrive on being dominant. He sounds like an A Type personality and also passive aggressive. Men like him get really weird around men that are in deed better than them. They are also control hungry FREAKS!

If he is the kind of dick that likes to get in your face and yells, MACE HIM! MACE HIS *** AND CALL THE COPS ON HIM! No matter what your friend says, just say he attacked you in a hostile and threatening manner! Wave 'Bye Bye' to him as they haul his *** off. Then tell your friend she seriously needs professional counseling!

Do be careful with mace. It can back splash you if he is too close. If he is right up on you try to get space between yourself and the pecker head. People like him remind me of Penises that dare walk erect like men but in reality they have no backbone like men. Your friend knows how to pick them doesn't she? It sounds to me like she is desperate to stay in a relationship because of loneliness issues. People like that have a tough time knowing when to move on. She may be hiding codependency issues from you as well. If drugs are a factor then you are definitely smart to put as much distance between the two of you as you can get. There is no getting through to an addict! Period! Enough said on that!

It is tough to watch a friend self destruct but they have to help themselves before others can help them. There is no other way.

auburngirl's photo
Tue 08/11/09 11:23 AM
I always am honest with my friends. Tactful but honest. Generally it's already big red flags that they already see themselves. I would want them to be that honest with me, and they are.

IntelligentDesigner's photo
Tue 08/11/09 12:38 PM
I think your friend needs to stand up to her boyfriend for her friends as well. If he wants to be a douche to you and not listen to you, then he needs to listen to her when she should be telling him to let you take a look at it.