Sun 08/09/09 01:44 PMQUOTE:

I can totally identify with this. I think my marriage was, by far, the loneliest time of my life. To have someone around, basically all the time, and to be unable to have a conversation about the simplest of things, to be unable to say something meaningful and actually be understood --



This is a touchy subject, and I'm almost afraid to comment on it, but I feel compelled to do so.

I honestly cannot understand your words above. The reason simply being that I cannot imagine marrying someone that I wasn't already super compatible with in the first place...


I wondered on this also Abra, and would not have said anything had you not,wink,
But I just assumed that Lex said it now, as a result of feeling so betraid by her then,,
In his looking back at his time with her,,he now feels the above statement is true, for their time spent together?
And if NOT, then the love he and her felt when they were married,
was NOT a typical love affair,wink,for some reason?

I to could not nor would I ever want to marry someone that I felt (for any reasons) I couldn't talk to about ANY issues,,wink,
But thats me...


And as for feeling how you feel Abra about YOU finding a lady NOW at 60,,,,I look at life this way, to help me feel better,,,
AS I am a realist and know that I am HERE,,where lofe has brought me,,,I THEN "MUST" ALSO KNOW, that their is some ladies ALSO here and where their life has also brought them,,,and if the BOTH of us ever find each other,,,SHE MIGHT BE THE ONE....
OR,,,,I MIGHT BE HER ONE,,,,
But truth and life,,,,MADE me knowing that THIS is a FACT,,,
So ,,,HEY,,,FACTS DON'T LIE....just finding that one or five,lol that fits,,,,perfect, as to where me and you and Lex,,,have been here,wink,,lol
I know,,,I THINK TO DAMN MUCH,,,,,lol

There are many women out here where age, yours and theirs can be compatible. Could it be willingness to react beyond your comfort zone. I have heard it said on both sides that they are just not willing to "settle"..Is that what you fellas are talking about? Making a choice, weighing the issues and deciding? Picking your battles and putting pride in a different place than when you were a younger demeanor and perception?

Not sure I understand the question. But, for me, it was never about age or comfort zone, as far as I can determine.

I was certainly not trying to "pick any battles" and I don't think it was ever about "pride" at all -- I just thought it would be nice to find someone who understood that I was who I was, and I was not ever going to be a sitcom dad or a domesticated farm animal; "settling" is for boxes of cereal during shipment.

I was hoping to find someone who could accept me as a writer, as a creative type, as an individual who would always be outside the mainstream. I learned that this is not possible, that no such person exists. As I do not devote my life to finding a Yeti or a ghost or a leprechaun, I see no point in wasting my remaining years searching for the equally-nonexistent "Compatible Partner."

as a writer..a creative type..what would be the issue? I stated age, because it was mentioned in the conversation. Choosing battles, can be likened to the toothpaste tube or issues similar, not something to base a person's philosophy or morals on.

Do I sound like I am interviewing y'all?..sorry. And even more, I came into this conversation, not even invited. I will quietly leave..thanks fellas..

Ahhh Sharris, you have no need for apology,,to me anyway,lol I've not read all here,wink,
But you can give your thoughts always in any of my posts and I am sure Lex nor Abra have any issues with your voicing your thoughts, heck,,we might learn something about us,,we have not seen yet our selves,,,so ITS ALL GOOD,,,,

The fact that they never WANTED creative types (despite consistently claiming that they did) -- they wanted someone who could be domesticated, tamed, made to conform to the "standard role" in a manner that precluded any sort of thought, individuality, or deviation from an arbitrary "norm"....



Well, the toothpaste tube argument is inconsequential enough that it wouldn't have impacted on me much either way. I can always put the cap back on, or leave it off if that's preferable!

Well, I guess I can understand more than I realize. And I should definitely count myself as being very lucky indeed!

Fairly recently there were actually three ladies I almost hooked up with. I mean, on three different occasions of course!

However two of them were less than half my age. In fact, they were closer to a third of my age.

I think I'm just chicken.

Abra, I was very impulsive when I was younger. I would get into new relationships every 3 months without any reason or forethought. I had two very close female friends who were constantly introducing me to new girls, so it was all very very easy.

But the 5-year-on-off-drug-addict was a real catastrophe for me, and I guess I felt some sort of need to try to blot her out as completely as possible at the time. And the next one I met had a very strong marriage agenda.

Like I said, it was kind of stupid.

But that was just how I dealt with things back then.