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| Topic: Experience and a womans heart ! | |
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Does the experience of lifes ups and downs matter. When a woman loves a man ? What a wonderful question. Yes I think our experiences matter. I have had two long term relationhips, one was my husband, the father of my children and the second was with a man who I loved so much, it hurt. My husband had an affair for three years, I found out and it almost killed me, now I am over all of that and we all get on and are quite the nuclear family. My second ended because of cultural differences, the primary factor, there were other contributing factors of course. He is American and I am European, there were many difficulties, he would explode like a shaken bottle of champagne, if he took my words the wrong way and I could bore you all with the details, but I will not. My experiences, despite their behaviour and how I loved both these men, have contributed to how I am now, I looked at my own behaviour and their reactions and what I found was that they were both unhappy about the same things, my behaviour in those relationships, and that was hard to face, but I did. I know what love is for me, I never want to ask it, I never want to be asked to prove it, if I love him he will know I do. Those two men in their loving of me have taught me alot, how not to be bitter when it all ends, and I am not now, I was for a time, anger, hurt, resentment even hatred at times, but all I was doing was turning that back on myself and I was the one suffering. My recovery from that was long, and now I am happy. Happiness is an ongoing journey not a destination, and in my journey, amny things matter when I love a man.  
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Edited by
Want2B5ft
on
Thu 08/06/09 07:26 AM
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I so agree with Sommer. My life experiences, both the good and the bad, have made me who I am today. As I reflect on some of them now, it breaks my heart. I have grown and have learned a lot about myself in the process. I am a survivor and even though some of those difficult experiences it was really hard to get back up, bounce back from and live again. I did.
The pain and suffering caused by men in my life - my dad, my ex husband of almost 25 yrs, the creep who killed my sister and my nephew that I adopted as my son after my sister was murdered - have been a real hurdle to jump back from. My scarring from these experiences runs deep and occassionally turns into an open wound. The important thing is learning how to accept those experiences for what they were and take ownership for my part in those experiences - even being able to recognize in some cases I was a victim and couldn't help the circumstances. Yes, sometimes the wounds fester but not as long as they used to and I am able to recognize it for what they are. Take a deep breath and reflect on them and what I have learned from them and appreciate the strength and endurance I have been capable of and continue on with my journey. Emotional and physical baggage? Call it what you will. This is the life that was handed to me and I have made it a personal goal to survive it and like the energizer bunny I just keep going and going and going. I do feel incredibly alone sometimes and miss the companionship, but the fear of "sharing" or "unloading" my baggage on someone else keeps me from pursuing relationships. So, yes, my ups and downs of the life I have experienced do matter and if I am ever able to open myself back up to the vulnerablilities of love again . . . I will love him with all that I have and then some and he will know it. My friends reassure me that all men are not like the ones who have been in my life and by watching them with their mates, their brothers and sons I can see that and hope one day to find one that I can compliment with my life experiences and not hinder. So, right now I continue to fly solo and am proceeding with caution. My heart has been sewn together so many times I am afraid that it might burst and I have it carefully guarded. I am afraid of life repeating itself and being attracted to someone who is capable of hurting me like I have been hurt in the past and some hurts I can't afford to relive. I have come too far. In the meantime, I am learning so much about myself and take in every new day and reflect and continue to grow as I continue my journey I am sorry this is so lengthy. Your question really touched my heart this morning and I needed this reminder today. 
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when a woman truly loves a man, nothing in the world matters...so long as he truly loves her Bingo 
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Edited by
Jimmy59
on
Thu 08/06/09 10:50 PM
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I so agree with Sommer. My life experiences, both the good and the bad, have made me who I am today. As I reflect on some of them now, it breaks my heart. I have grown and have learned a lot about myself in the process. I am a survivor and even though some of those difficult experiences it was really hard to get back up, bounce back from and live again. I did. The pain and suffering caused by men in my life - my dad, my ex husband of almost 25 yrs, the creep who killed my sister and my nephew that I adopted as my son after my sister was murdered - have been a real hurdle to jump back from. My scarring from these experiences runs deep and occassionally turns into an open wound. The important thing is learning how to accept those experiences for what they were and take ownership for my part in those experiences - even being able to recognize in some cases I was a victim and couldn't help the circumstances. Yes, sometimes the wounds fester but not as long as they used to and I am able to recognize it for what they are. Take a deep breath and reflect on them and what I have learned from them and appreciate the strength and endurance I have been capable of and continue on with my journey. Emotional and physical baggage? Call it what you will. This is the life that was handed to me and I have made it a personal goal to survive it and like the energizer bunny I just keep going and going and going. I do feel incredibly alone sometimes and miss the companionship, but the fear of "sharing" or "unloading" my baggage on someone else keeps me from pursuing relationships. So, yes, my ups and downs of the life I have experienced do matter and if I am ever able to open myself back up to the vulnerablilities of love again . . . I will love him with all that I have and then some and he will know it. My friends reassure me that all men are not like the ones who have been in my life and by watching them with their mates, their brothers and sons I can see that and hope one day to find one that I can compliment with my life experiences and not hinder. So, right now I continue to fly solo and am proceeding with caution. My heart has been sewn together so many times I am afraid that it might burst and I have it carefully guarded. I am afraid of life repeating itself and being attracted to someone who is capable of hurting me like I have been hurt in the past and some hurts I can't afford to relive. I have come too far. In the meantime, I am learning so much about myself and take in every new day and reflect and continue to grow as I continue my journey I am sorry this is so lengthy. Your question really touched my heart this morning and I needed this reminder today.
Jimmy 
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Does the experience of lifes ups and downs matter. When a woman loves a man ? A womans life experiences is what makes her who she is..when she loves her man, she loves her man..
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Life experiences are only good if you have learned from them. Love matters only if its love of the person inside and not of the outside (physical, material). 
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Does the experience of lifes ups and downs matter. When a woman loves a man ? A womans life experiences is what makes her who she is..when she loves her man, she loves her man..
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Edited by
Want2B5ft
on
Fri 08/07/09 10:57 AM
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I so agree with Sommer. My life experiences, both the good and the bad, have made me who I am today. As I reflect on some of them now, it breaks my heart. I have grown and have learned a lot about myself in the process. I am a survivor and even though some of those difficult experiences it was really hard to get back up, bounce back from and live again. I did. The pain and suffering caused by men in my life - my dad, my ex husband of almost 25 yrs, the creep who killed my sister and my nephew that I adopted as my son after my sister was murdered - have been a real hurdle to jump back from. My scarring from these experiences runs deep and occassionally turns into an open wound. The important thing is learning how to accept those experiences for what they were and take ownership for my part in those experiences - even being able to recognize in some cases I was a victim and couldn't help the circumstances. Yes, sometimes the wounds fester but not as long as they used to and I am able to recognize it for what they are. Take a deep breath and reflect on them and what I have learned from them and appreciate the strength and endurance I have been capable of and continue on with my journey. Emotional and physical baggage? Call it what you will. This is the life that was handed to me and I have made it a personal goal to survive it and like the energizer bunny I just keep going and going and going. I do feel incredibly alone sometimes and miss the companionship, but the fear of "sharing" or "unloading" my baggage on someone else keeps me from pursuing relationships. So, yes, my ups and downs of the life I have experienced do matter and if I am ever able to open myself back up to the vulnerablilities of love again . . . I will love him with all that I have and then some and he will know it. My friends reassure me that all men are not like the ones who have been in my life and by watching them with their mates, their brothers and sons I can see that and hope one day to find one that I can compliment with my life experiences and not hinder. So, right now I continue to fly solo and am proceeding with caution. My heart has been sewn together so many times I am afraid that it might burst and I have it carefully guarded. I am afraid of life repeating itself and being attracted to someone who is capable of hurting me like I have been hurt in the past and some hurts I can't afford to relive. I have come too far. In the meantime, I am learning so much about myself and take in every new day and reflect and continue to grow as I continue my journey I am sorry this is so lengthy. Your question really touched my heart this morning and I needed this reminder today.
Jimmy
Thank you, I needed some gentle reminders.
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 Does the experience of lifes ups and downs matter. When a woman loves a man ? Experience is very important to me. You don't go further with me if you don't have any...
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Does the experience of lifes ups and downs matter. When a woman loves a man ? Experience is very important to me. You don't go further with me if you don't have any...
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I so agree with Sommer. My life experiences, both the good and the bad, have made me who I am today. As I reflect on some of them now, it breaks my heart. I have grown and have learned a lot about myself in the process. I am a survivor and even though some of those difficult experiences it was really hard to get back up, bounce back from and live again. I did. The pain and suffering caused by men in my life - my dad, my ex husband of almost 25 yrs, the creep who killed my sister and my nephew that I adopted as my son after my sister was murdered - have been a real hurdle to jump back from. My scarring from these experiences runs deep and occassionally turns into an open wound. The important thing is learning how to accept those experiences for what they were and take ownership for my part in those experiences - even being able to recognize in some cases I was a victim and couldn't help the circumstances. Yes, sometimes the wounds fester but not as long as they used to and I am able to recognize it for what they are. Take a deep breath and reflect on them and what I have learned from them and appreciate the strength and endurance I have been capable of and continue on with my journey. Emotional and physical baggage? Call it what you will. This is the life that was handed to me and I have made it a personal goal to survive it and like the energizer bunny I just keep going and going and going. I do feel incredibly alone sometimes and miss the companionship, but the fear of "sharing" or "unloading" my baggage on someone else keeps me from pursuing relationships. So, yes, my ups and downs of the life I have experienced do matter and if I am ever able to open myself back up to the vulnerablilities of love again . . . I will love him with all that I have and then some and he will know it. My friends reassure me that all men are not like the ones who have been in my life and by watching them with their mates, their brothers and sons I can see that and hope one day to find one that I can compliment with my life experiences and not hinder. So, right now I continue to fly solo and am proceeding with caution. My heart has been sewn together so many times I am afraid that it might burst and I have it carefully guarded. I am afraid of life repeating itself and being attracted to someone who is capable of hurting me like I have been hurt in the past and some hurts I can't afford to relive. I have come too far. In the meantime, I am learning so much about myself and take in every new day and reflect and continue to grow as I continue my journey I am sorry this is so lengthy. Your question really touched my heart this morning and I needed this reminder today.
Jimmy
Thank you, I needed some gentle reminders.
"Love to you"
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