Community > Dating & Relationships

Topic: Some time in between is a good thing
Calleigh12 Joined Tue 04/01/08 Posts: 17193	Sat 08/01/09 02:20 PM
Most guys I've met are still hung up on some woman from their past, or even better "waiting out a relationship" hoping to get their chance, once she's over the current bf. I agree, it's not fair to the new person.

Ladylid2012 Joined Sun 07/05/09 Posts: 42269	Sat 08/01/09 03:21 PM
Ive heard from some folks that it takes about half the time of the length of ur relationship to be completely over ur ex. Time between is defo a valuable time for reflection. When our emotions r in turmoil, it takes time to settle them, if u skip this process, u r completely vulnerable cos u havent recovered and therefore start something new when u r not urself emotionally. I don't know about half the time... some people have been in a marriage lasting 10, 15, 20 or more years.... My mom was married to my dad for 19 years, got remarried within 5 months and has been married for 34 years... I don't know if there is a rule...I think we all know when it's time.

Pink_lady Joined Sun 08/24/08 Posts: 2507	Sat 08/01/09 03:27 PM
Ive heard from some folks that it takes about half the time of the length of ur relationship to be completely over ur ex. Time between is defo a valuable time for reflection. When our emotions r in turmoil, it takes time to settle them, if u skip this process, u r completely vulnerable cos u havent recovered and therefore start something new when u r not urself emotionally. I don't know about half the time... some people have been in a marriage lasting 10, 15, 20 or more years.... My mom was married to my dad for 19 years, got remarried within 5 months and has been married for 34 years... I don't know if there is a rule...I think we all know when it's time. Yeh, i agree, i didnt say i agreed with the statement, each person is unique and has their own coping strategies, and some r more emotionally stronger than others.

Christinacospgs Joined Sun 04/27/08 Posts: 6376	Sat 08/01/09 04:16 PM
Ive heard from some folks that it takes about half the time of the length of ur relationship to be completely over ur ex. Time between is defo a valuable time for reflection. When our emotions r in turmoil, it takes time to settle them, if u skip this process, u r completely vulnerable cos u havent recovered and therefore start something new when u r not urself emotionally. I don't know about half the time... some people have been in a marriage lasting 10, 15, 20 or more years.... My mom was married to my dad for 19 years, got remarried within 5 months and has been married for 34 years... I don't know if there is a rule...I think we all know when it's time. I agree. I was married for a long time too, and I had to take time to heal from all the pain I went through before I could even think about having another person in my life.

MirrorMirror Joined Fri 10/26/07 Posts: 89680	Sat 08/01/09 05:01 PM
So many state either in the forum or in their profile that they have recently split up and are looking... some time in between relationships is not a bad thing. Some time to regroup, recover and understand what happened, maybe learn something... It isn't fair to the "new" person when your on the rebound and not fair to your self. What is the rush? yes, its a good thing

snarkytwain Joined Thu 09/11/08 Posts: 2789	Sat 08/01/09 05:05 PM
TOTALLY agree. The problem is people can't seem to find peace within themselves in order to be happy. They think they need another person to give them joy and purpose. But see, that's not fair to them, and not truthful to yourself. Ya gotta BE the One before you can FIND the One.

Ladylid2012 Joined Sun 07/05/09 Posts: 42269	Sat 08/01/09 05:11 PM
TOTALLY agree. The problem is people can't seem to find peace within themselves in order to be happy. They think they need another person to give them joy and purpose. But see, that's not fair to them, and not truthful to yourself. Ya gotta BE the One before you can FIND the One. that must be where that stupid phrase..."You complete me" comes from.

snarkytwain Joined Thu 09/11/08 Posts: 2789	Sat 08/01/09 05:13 PM
TOTALLY agree. The problem is people can't seem to find peace within themselves in order to be happy. They think they need another person to give them joy and purpose. But see, that's not fair to them, and not truthful to yourself. Ya gotta BE the One before you can FIND the One. that must be where that stupid phrase..."You complete me" comes from. Totally. I have stopped looking for someone to complete me. I'm complete all by myself. I don't need a man to MAKE my life, I just want a man to be PART of my life... and me to be part of his. Ya gotta be willing to give as much as you need to take from a relationship.

Meg8771 Joined Fri 01/16/09 Posts: 5662	Sat 08/01/09 05:24 PM
I have found that during that "down time" after a relationship has ended, when I focus on me and enriching MY life (while licking my wounds and crying over everything), as soon as things start going good - that is when members of the opposite sex start to notice. I think that it is the confidence that shines through when one is comfortable in their own skin that attracts others. And usually, by this time, one is ready to move on. You know it by the way you feel when you wake up in the morning. It is just hard for some people to realize they NEED that down time to focus on themselves. Relationships are NOT lilly pads to be jumped on one after another for fear of drowning...take time to swim!

Christinacospgs Joined Sun 04/27/08 Posts: 6376	Sat 08/01/09 05:26 PM
I have found that during that "down time" after a relationship has ended, when I focus on me and enriching MY life (while licking my wounds and crying over everything), as soon as things start going good - that is when members of the opposite sex start to notice. I think that it is the confidence that shines through when one is comfortable in their own skin that attracts others. And usually, by this time, one is ready to move on. You know it by the way you feel when you wake up in the morning. It is just hard for some people to realize they NEED that down time to focus on themselves. Relationships are NOT lilly pads to be jumped on one after another for fear of drowning...take time to swim! So agree with that!

newarkjw Joined Sun 05/25/08 Posts: 17172	Sun 08/02/09 01:07 PM
I have found that during that "down time" after a relationship has ended, when I focus on me and enriching MY life (while licking my wounds and crying over everything), as soon as things start going good - that is when members of the opposite sex start to notice. I think that it is the confidence that shines through when one is comfortable in their own skin that attracts others. And usually, by this time, one is ready to move on. You know it by the way you feel when you wake up in the morning. It is just hard for some people to realize they NEED that down time to focus on themselves. Relationships are NOT lilly pads to be jumped on one after another for fear of drowning...take time to swim!

Ladylid2012 Joined Sun 07/05/09 Posts: 42269	Sun 08/02/09 01:11 PM
I have found that during that "down time" after a relationship has ended, when I focus on me and enriching MY life (while licking my wounds and crying over everything), as soon as things start going good - that is when members of the opposite sex start to notice. I think that it is the confidence that shines through when one is comfortable in their own skin that attracts others. And usually, by this time, one is ready to move on. You know it by the way you feel when you wake up in the morning. It is just hard for some people to realize they NEED that down time to focus on themselves. Relationships are NOT lilly pads to be jumped on one after another for fear of drowning...take time to swim! My arms and legs are getting tired from swimming...