I am dealing with my 11(almost 12) year old daughter, 7 and 4 old year old sons who are currently very sad/angry/depressed children.

At the beginning of June their father had an access weekend (our agreement for the last 2 1/2 years) and something traumatic happened with a family member of their Dad's new girlfriend. It involved my 7 year old son.

He has made NO attempts to see the kids. I received a text saying "I wont be taking the kids anymore" and that is it!

My question is how do you, as a parent, talk to your children about the other parent when they are feeling so abandoned, hurt, and betrayed? I am VERY cautious about what I say to them about their Dad but what I want to say it they are right! He is a horrible father and selfish and mean but I can't say that. Can I?

Just let them vent

Make sure you are their for them and tell them so

They should have counsling though to help them through it

It could surface in thier teens or older and that's not a good thing

I send my love to you all


Tammy

tough one

i will keep my uneducated opinion to my self on this one

and just say good luck

and nothing you say will be wrong

just better or worse than what you could/might of said

I am so sorry to hear that you and your kids are going through this. My ex is bad, but I would have to say not that bad. The only thing I would know to suggest is maybe look into finding the a counselor to talk to. I know my kids will tell me a lot because we are very close, but there are somethings that they need to talk about with someone else they can trust.
I recently told my ex that if he was going to be in our kid's lives that he was going to be a stable part of their lives and be there when he was suppose to be and be a father like he should be or not be there at all. My parents divorced when I was young (I was 5) and to this day (I'm almost 30), my dad has popped in and out of my life whenever it was convienient for him. I never knew when he would show up or when he would disappear. I think this is much harder on a child than the parent not being there at all.
Maybe one day you will find someone that will love your children as much as you do. My stepdad reaised me, provided for me and loved me like I was his own. I don't call him dad, but he is my dad. He is the one I asked to give me away when I got married.
I wish you and your children the best and just be thankful that they have you in their lives.

Wow I am truly sorry to hear that the father to your children has totally abandoned them.. and for what? My son has not seen his dad in a year and has maybe talked to him twice in that time. My son is 15 and I know he is angry with his dad but he doesn't say too much about it. His dad does not see him because of his wife which my son cannot stand. I'm not sure what to tell you to tell your kids.. but sometimes honesty is the best thing. Their father has let them down so to lie to them by not telling the truth may make them even angrier someday. Good luck and God bless!!

Thank you for those comments, everyone!

I have the oldest two in counselling, that is helping.
I guess I just needed to hear that I should keep doing what I'm doing.

I do love them so much and wish I could change what happened but loving them through it all I can do.

I have found someone who is a GREAT man! My 7 year old gave him his Father's gifts this year because he loves him. All of my kids adore him and soon we are moving in together. He has 2 kids as well, we have a very happy blended family. We are excited to make this move and my man is very aware at the negative father figure they have.

Thanks you!

That's great! Good luck to the two of you!

I am happy to hear that and I wish you the very best!