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| Topic: Honestly? | |
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 Sadly, that would make me feel a whole lot better. LOL 
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maybe there should be a mission briefing before you get into it. you can both use diagrams and stuff to point out trouble spots so that nobody will come upon one suddenly and say "woah!  "
i used to date a chick who was in great shape and had a really defined six-pack. then we were in separate cities for a few months and she came back with more of a 4-pack. still good but she'd eaten a few pizzas. not the end of the world. I'd trade my... tummy... for a four pack any day! 
Taurus, thank you for that story. That's EXACTLY how I would have felt, too. All the comments men make (even here) about bikinis and nude photos and stuff always make me nervous. They make me feel like the only women who matter enough to even be given a thought are the ones who would actually be able to DO that comfortably, ya know? |
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self esteem is sexier than a tight body.....
maybe there should be a mission briefing before you get into it. you can both use diagrams and stuff to point out trouble spots so that nobody will come upon one suddenly and say "woah! "
i used to date a chick who was in great shape and had a really defined six-pack. then we were in separate cities for a few months and she came back with more of a 4-pack. still good but she'd eaten a few pizzas. not the end of the world. I'd trade my... tummy... for a four pack any day!
Taurus, thank you for that story. That's EXACTLY how I would have felt, too. All the comments men make (even here) about bikinis and nude photos and stuff always make me nervous. They make me feel like the only women who matter enough to even be given a thought are the ones who would actually be able to DO that comfortably, ya know? |
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Edited by
earthytaurus76
on
Tue 07/21/09 02:15 PM
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What I LOVE are the numerous men who say they like curves, and women with a big a$$, and thick women.
I have yet to meet a man who hassled me about it luckily.. I loved the bf I had who was brazilian, they LIVE for big butts. Even with THAT said, I still dont wanna bear my tummy.. (cos thats where alot of it is) It takes me a minute for sure, but only initial nervousness. Luckily, I be sure I get to know someone well before sex comes into the picture so its never so bad, but its the internet men that get me. I am a former petites, swimsuit, and lengerie model, and was a size 0 when I did. Thing is, whenever I loose all my weight, Im like.. you know. what was the problem? I always say to myself when Im thin.. Im gonna feel sexy as hell if I gain, cos I just AM sexy. THEN though, when I get thin, I realise how sick people are who hassle people who are overweight.. its really not a big deal, and they are only really interested in impressing their jerky friends. Thats what its really got to be. Either way, I like chubby men, or men who are bigger often, but any size man is fine too. Im equally attracted to both. The guy thats persuing me now is seen in music videos, and Im positive has really definded abs.. but thats not the reason I like him at all. |
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Edited by
vortecpowered
on
Tue 07/21/09 02:42 PM
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THEN though, when I get thin, I realise how sick people are who hassle people who are overweight.. its really not a big deal, and they are only really interested in impressing their jerky friends. i don't make fun of fat people but i do lose some respect for those who completely bring it on themselves. at my old job there were many overweight women but some at least tried to eat right and they'd hit the gym before or after work. they were still fat but at least putting in the effort. others whined all day about being fat then walked around the office eating a huge bag of chips and their offices were full of junk food. come on! they asked me how i stayed in good shape even though i eat whatever i want (within reason). it's because i keep the quantities reasonable and eat fruit or someting for snacks and dessert. really simple. one guy was huge and diabetic. he used to relieve himself (#1 & #2  ) in his pants every day. HR had to make him wear a diaper because of the stench and puddles. seriously. this genius ate sandwiches and pudding all day and if someone had a birthday he was all over that cake. i sort of felt sorry for him, but not so much since he brought it on himself.
my dad handles his diabetes properly so he's doing well and looks fitter than ever. i say, "nice job" sometimes when i see him. of course, he was never fat. |
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maybe there should be a mission briefing before you get into it. you can both use diagrams and stuff to point out trouble spots so that nobody will come upon one suddenly and say "woah! "
i used to date a chick who was in great shape and had a really defined six-pack. then we were in separate cities for a few months and she came back with more of a 4-pack. still good but she'd eaten a few pizzas. not the end of the world. I'd trade my... tummy... for a four pack any day!
Taurus, thank you for that story. That's EXACTLY how I would have felt, too. All the comments men make (even here) about bikinis and nude photos and stuff always make me nervous. They make me feel like the only women who matter enough to even be given a thought are the ones who would actually be able to DO that comfortably, ya know? Well some guys are shallow and some are full of it. I would take you over the tiny, skinny girls anyday! |
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Edited by
earthytaurus76
on
Tue 07/21/09 03:04 PM
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THEN though, when I get thin, I realise how sick people are who hassle people who are overweight.. its really not a big deal, and they are only really interested in impressing their jerky friends. i don't make fun of fat people but i do lose some respect for those who completely bring it on themselves. at my old job there were many overweight women but some at least tried to eat right and they'd hit the gym before or after work. they were still fat but at least putting in the effort. others whined all day about being fat then walked around the office eating a huge bag of chips and their offices were full of junk food. come on! they asked me how i stayed in good shape even though i eat whatever i want (within reason). it's because i keep the quantities reasonable and eat fruit or someting for snacks and dessert. really simple. one guy was huge and diabetic. he used to relieve himself (#1 & #2 ) in his pants every day. HR had to make him wear a diaper because of the stench and puddles. seriously. this genius ate sandwiches and pudding all day and if someone had a birthday he was all over that cake. i sort of felt sorry for him, but not so much since he brought it on himself.
my dad handles his diabetes properly so he's doing well and looks fitter than ever. i say, "nice job" sometimes when i see him. of course, he was never fat. Yeah, but its mean and terrible to make fun of, or hurt, people for their problems. Its not right. They have issues. |
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i've said this on here before...i met a beautiful woman at the grocery store and we started talking. exchanged numbers and all that, then she started making fun of a guy in a wheelchair who was having trouble getting past a display. she got really unattractive right then. i deleted her number and walked off. if she'd been making fun of an obese person it wouldn't have been any better. even those people i used to work with never heard a word about their weight from me. not my business.
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THEN though, when I get thin, I realise how sick people are who hassle people who are overweight.. its really not a big deal, and they are only really interested in impressing their jerky friends. i don't make fun of fat people but i do lose some respect for those who completely bring it on themselves. at my old job there were many overweight women but some at least tried to eat right and they'd hit the gym before or after work. they were still fat but at least putting in the effort. others whined all day about being fat then walked around the office eating a huge bag of chips and their offices were full of junk food. come on! they asked me how i stayed in good shape even though i eat whatever i want (within reason). it's because i keep the quantities reasonable and eat fruit or someting for snacks and dessert. really simple. one guy was huge and diabetic. he used to relieve himself (#1 & #2 ) in his pants every day. HR had to make him wear a diaper because of the stench and puddles. seriously. this genius ate sandwiches and pudding all day and if someone had a birthday he was all over that cake. i sort of felt sorry for him, but not so much since he brought it on himself.
my dad handles his diabetes properly so he's doing well and looks fitter than ever. i say, "nice job" sometimes when i see him. of course, he was never fat. Well, first of all that sounds like the definition of obese to me, which is very much unhealthy. I was more talking about everyday extra weight from having babies and aging. Second of all, I gotta agree with Taurus. It's never cool to make fun of people. We all have our insecurities and our issues. Ya know, the whole glass houses thing. Well some guys are shallow and some are full of it. I would take you over the tiny, skinny girls anyday!
Thanks babe. I appreciate that. 
I am a former petites, swimsuit, and lengerie model, and was a size 0 when I did.
I was never a size 0. Ever. OK, maybe when I was like 10. But I do remember feeling fat in high school, and now I look at my old pics and think "wth was I thinking?" I try and remember that now when people tell me I'm thinner than I think I am.
Either way, I like chubby men, or men who are bigger often, but any size man is fine too.
Im equally attracted to both. The guy thats persuing me now is seen in music videos, and Im positive has really definded abs.. but thats not the reason I like him at all. Maybe that's part of why I'm so hard on myself. I've never really been attracted to bigger guys. Just personal preference, ya know? I guess I figure I shouldn't be a hypocrate. Course, the beanpoles tend to like a little more meat, anyway...
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Lady, you might have imagined that you hid it all that well, but the guy wasn't astonished or intimidated. He knew. From the first time that there is interaction, we know...and if you're supersensitive about it, then we either poke and jab and make it a topic...or else we respect your vulnerability and wait for you to talk about it. The bulges are not the cause of embarrassment; the lifestyle that is ongoing and protecting/creating bulges is the cause of concern. And it isn't an issue. If you're right for each other, begin letting yourself think of years together, and working on every bit of life together...otherwise you're just imagining that a meaningful loving relationship will wreck upon discovering some cellulite, or a few wrinkles, or hairy areas. You've got the grit to talk about it with twenty zillion strangers, so what's the big deal with one guy you're thinking is stupid about it? 
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99.99% of my "extra curves" are in the belly and from my kids. Mostly I'm cool with it because, after all, five kids could totally mess up a woman's body WAY worse than a few extra pounds! I kinda won the lottery there. But today I was sitting there thinking... and realized that it's a major issue for me in that kind of situation, which sucks. So I thought, "why not ask about it? You've learned a lot from Mingle already. Why not this?" Thanks for these answers. Both genders. I mean that. It can help a lot to see things from the other side. 
I can totally relate on the had some children body with curves. Most of the time I am fairly confident about the way I look but recently I had a man totally take my self confidence away..was my own fault that i let him. I work hard to look like I do (so so) and I know he was/is into stick thin women. I'm not stick thin and I won't let him make me feel bad again. You look great to me! |
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I'm guessing it's rarely a concern with the man.
Some arbitrary percentage of men won't care because they aren't looking long term anyhow.... it's just about right now. They just want to have a good time, and likely want you to have a good time too. They've already assessed your physical attributes and are ok with you for the situation. And the other percentage is likely really in to you and it's a step further in connecting to you. At this point they've long since dealt with any physical considerations. Unless it turns out you have a swastika tattooed on your belly. That can be a little unsettling. |
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I'm guessing it's rarely a concern with the man. Some arbitrary percentage of men won't care because they aren't looking long term anyhow.... it's just about right now. They just want to have a good time, and likely want you to have a good time too. They've already assessed your physical attributes and are ok with you for the situation. And the other percentage is likely really in to you and it's a step further in connecting to you. At this point they've long since dealt with any physical considerations. Unless it turns out you have a swastika tattooed on your belly. That can be a little unsettling. What if it is a swastika on the butt? BTW which are you, the arbitrary percentage or the other percentage? |
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I'm guessing it's rarely a concern with the man. Some arbitrary percentage of men won't care because they aren't looking long term anyhow.... it's just about right now. They just want to have a good time, and likely want you to have a good time too. They've already assessed your physical attributes and are ok with you for the situation. And the other percentage is likely really in to you and it's a step further in connecting to you. At this point they've long since dealt with any physical considerations. Unless it turns out you have a swastika tattooed on your belly. That can be a little unsettling. What if it is a swastika on the butt? BTW which are you, the arbitrary percentage or the other percentage? I guess it depends on which cheek. I think there's a code. And I don't even KNOW her... so how am I gonna know that? 
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maybe there should be a mission briefing before you get into it. you can both use diagrams and stuff to point out trouble spots so that nobody will come upon one suddenly and say "woah! "
i used to date a chick who was in great shape and had a really defined six-pack. then we were in separate cities for a few months and she came back with more of a 4-pack. still good but she'd eaten a few pizzas. not the end of the world. I'd trade my... tummy... for a four pack any day!
Taurus, thank you for that story. That's EXACTLY how I would have felt, too. All the comments men make (even here) about bikinis and nude photos and stuff always make me nervous. They make me feel like the only women who matter enough to even be given a thought are the ones who would actually be able to DO that comfortably, ya know? Snarky, I'm pretty skinny and I have the same concerns. I have been on dates where the men said, "I normally like a little meat on my women". I've been in a make out session or two where they grabbed by hip bones which made me uncomfortable. I think we all have body issues regardless of our size but beauty is really in the eye of the beholder. The look in one man's eyes can make you feel like the most beautiful woman. Good Luck. 
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maybe there should be a mission briefing before you get into it. you can both use diagrams and stuff to point out trouble spots so that nobody will come upon one suddenly and say "woah! "
i used to date a chick who was in great shape and had a really defined six-pack. then we were in separate cities for a few months and she came back with more of a 4-pack. still good but she'd eaten a few pizzas. not the end of the world. I'd trade my... tummy... for a four pack any day!
Taurus, thank you for that story. That's EXACTLY how I would have felt, too. All the comments men make (even here) about bikinis and nude photos and stuff always make me nervous. They make me feel like the only women who matter enough to even be given a thought are the ones who would actually be able to DO that comfortably, ya know? Snarky, I'm pretty skinny and I have the same concerns. I have been on dates where the men said, "I normally like a little meat on my women". I've been in a make out session or two where they grabbed by hip bones which made me uncomfortable. I think we all have body issues regardless of our size but beauty is really in the eye of the beholder. The look in one man's eyes can make you feel like the most beautiful woman. Good Luck.
Well said! |
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99.99% of my "extra curves" are in the belly and from my kids. Mostly I'm cool with it because, after all, five kids could totally mess up a woman's body WAY worse than a few extra pounds! I kinda won the lottery there. But today I was sitting there thinking... and realized that it's a major issue for me in that kind of situation, which sucks. So I thought, "why not ask about it? You've learned a lot from Mingle already. Why not this?" Thanks for these answers. Both genders. I mean that. It can help a lot to see things from the other side.
I can totally relate on the had some children body with curves. Most of the time I am fairly confident about the way I look but recently I had a man totally take my self confidence away..was my own fault that i let him. I work hard to look like I do (so so) and I know he was/is into stick thin women. I'm not stick thin and I won't let him make me feel bad again. You look great to me! Thank you! So do you, actually. I was thinking that. Nice hair! Yeah, it only takes a little bit for a man to cut us down, doesn't it? Glad to hear you're not letting him do that anymore!
Snarky, I'm pretty skinny and I have the same concerns. I have been on dates where the men said, "I normally like a little meat on my women". I've been in a make out session or two where they grabbed by hip bones which made me uncomfortable. I think we all have body issues regardless of our size but beauty is really in the eye of the beholder. The look in one man's eyes can make you feel like the most beautiful woman. Good Luck.
Woah... seriously? I... that actually amazes me! Man... that means were ALL screwed! Or, ya know, I could look at it the good way and think we're all beautiful instead. Yeah, I think I'll do that. 
Thank you for that POV. It's one I never heard before.
I'm guessing it's rarely a concern with the man.
Some arbitrary percentage of men won't care because they aren't looking long term anyhow.... it's just about right now. They just want to have a good time, and likely want you to have a good time too. They've already assessed your physical attributes and are ok with you for the situation. And the other percentage is likely really in to you and it's a step further in connecting to you. At this point they've long since dealt with any physical considerations. Unless it turns out you have a swastika tattooed on your belly. That can be a little unsettling. Hmm... ya know, as logical as that is, it never occured to me. Weird... 
And you two and your swasticas. Didn't you know it's a PENTEGRAM that's the scariest? I mean, when your woman's a witch, who KNOWS what she can do to ya?
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99.99% of my "extra curves" are in the belly and from my kids. Mostly I'm cool with it because, after all, five kids could totally mess up a woman's body WAY worse than a few extra pounds! I kinda won the lottery there. But today I was sitting there thinking... and realized that it's a major issue for me in that kind of situation, which sucks. So I thought, "why not ask about it? You've learned a lot from Mingle already. Why not this?" Thanks for these answers. Both genders. I mean that. It can help a lot to see things from the other side.
I can totally relate on the had some children body with curves. Most of the time I am fairly confident about the way I look but recently I had a man totally take my self confidence away..was my own fault that i let him. I work hard to look like I do (so so) and I know he was/is into stick thin women. I'm not stick thin and I won't let him make me feel bad again. You look great to me! Thank you! So do you, actually. I was thinking that. Nice hair! Yeah, it only takes a little bit for a man to cut us down, doesn't it? Glad to hear you're not letting him do that anymore!
Snarky, I'm pretty skinny and I have the same concerns. I have been on dates where the men said, "I normally like a little meat on my women". I've been in a make out session or two where they grabbed by hip bones which made me uncomfortable. I think we all have body issues regardless of our size but beauty is really in the eye of the beholder. The look in one man's eyes can make you feel like the most beautiful woman. Good Luck.
Woah... seriously? I... that actually amazes me! Man... that means were ALL screwed! Or, ya know, I could look at it the good way and think we're all beautiful instead. Yeah, I think I'll do that.
Thank you for that POV. It's one I never heard before.
I'm guessing it's rarely a concern with the man.
Some arbitrary percentage of men won't care because they aren't looking long term anyhow.... it's just about right now. They just want to have a good time, and likely want you to have a good time too. They've already assessed your physical attributes and are ok with you for the situation. And the other percentage is likely really in to you and it's a step further in connecting to you. At this point they've long since dealt with any physical considerations. Unless it turns out you have a swastika tattooed on your belly. That can be a little unsettling. Hmm... ya know, as logical as that is, it never occured to me. Weird...
And you two and your swasticas. Didn't you know it's a PENTEGRAM that's the scariest? I mean, when your woman's a witch, who KNOWS what she can do to ya?
Hmm, I guess it depends on your perspective, to me a swastika is a lot scarier than a pentagram, but that's just me. |
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99.99% of my "extra curves" are in the belly and from my kids. Mostly I'm cool with it because, after all, five kids could totally mess up a woman's body WAY worse than a few extra pounds! I kinda won the lottery there. But today I was sitting there thinking... and realized that it's a major issue for me in that kind of situation, which sucks. So I thought, "why not ask about it? You've learned a lot from Mingle already. Why not this?" Thanks for these answers. Both genders. I mean that. It can help a lot to see things from the other side.
I can totally relate on the had some children body with curves. Most of the time I am fairly confident about the way I look but recently I had a man totally take my self confidence away..was my own fault that i let him. I work hard to look like I do (so so) and I know he was/is into stick thin women. I'm not stick thin and I won't let him make me feel bad again. You look great to me! Thank you! So do you, actually. I was thinking that. Nice hair! Yeah, it only takes a little bit for a man to cut us down, doesn't it? Glad to hear you're not letting him do that anymore!
Snarky, I'm pretty skinny and I have the same concerns. I have been on dates where the men said, "I normally like a little meat on my women". I've been in a make out session or two where they grabbed by hip bones which made me uncomfortable. I think we all have body issues regardless of our size but beauty is really in the eye of the beholder. The look in one man's eyes can make you feel like the most beautiful woman. Good Luck.
Woah... seriously? I... that actually amazes me! Man... that means were ALL screwed! Or, ya know, I could look at it the good way and think we're all beautiful instead. Yeah, I think I'll do that.
Thank you for that POV. It's one I never heard before.
I'm guessing it's rarely a concern with the man.
Some arbitrary percentage of men won't care because they aren't looking long term anyhow.... it's just about right now. They just want to have a good time, and likely want you to have a good time too. They've already assessed your physical attributes and are ok with you for the situation. And the other percentage is likely really in to you and it's a step further in connecting to you. At this point they've long since dealt with any physical considerations. Unless it turns out you have a swastika tattooed on your belly. That can be a little unsettling. Hmm... ya know, as logical as that is, it never occured to me. Weird...
And you two and your swasticas. Didn't you know it's a PENTEGRAM that's the scariest? I mean, when your woman's a witch, who KNOWS what she can do to ya?
Hmm, I guess it depends on your perspective, to me a swastika is a lot scarier than a pentagram, but that's just me. It is to me, too. I'm Pagan. I was making a social commentary / funny.
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99.99% of my "extra curves" are in the belly and from my kids. Mostly I'm cool with it because, after all, five kids could totally mess up a woman's body WAY worse than a few extra pounds! I kinda won the lottery there. But today I was sitting there thinking... and realized that it's a major issue for me in that kind of situation, which sucks. So I thought, "why not ask about it? You've learned a lot from Mingle already. Why not this?" Thanks for these answers. Both genders. I mean that. It can help a lot to see things from the other side.
I can totally relate on the had some children body with curves. Most of the time I am fairly confident about the way I look but recently I had a man totally take my self confidence away..was my own fault that i let him. I work hard to look like I do (so so) and I know he was/is into stick thin women. I'm not stick thin and I won't let him make me feel bad again. You look great to me! Thank you! So do you, actually. I was thinking that. Nice hair! Yeah, it only takes a little bit for a man to cut us down, doesn't it? Glad to hear you're not letting him do that anymore!
Snarky, I'm pretty skinny and I have the same concerns. I have been on dates where the men said, "I normally like a little meat on my women". I've been in a make out session or two where they grabbed by hip bones which made me uncomfortable. I think we all have body issues regardless of our size but beauty is really in the eye of the beholder. The look in one man's eyes can make you feel like the most beautiful woman. Good Luck.
Woah... seriously? I... that actually amazes me! Man... that means were ALL screwed! Or, ya know, I could look at it the good way and think we're all beautiful instead. Yeah, I think I'll do that.
Thank you for that POV. It's one I never heard before.
I'm guessing it's rarely a concern with the man.
Some arbitrary percentage of men won't care because they aren't looking long term anyhow.... it's just about right now. They just want to have a good time, and likely want you to have a good time too. They've already assessed your physical attributes and are ok with you for the situation. And the other percentage is likely really in to you and it's a step further in connecting to you. At this point they've long since dealt with any physical considerations. Unless it turns out you have a swastika tattooed on your belly. That can be a little unsettling. Hmm... ya know, as logical as that is, it never occured to me. Weird...
And you two and your swasticas. Didn't you know it's a PENTEGRAM that's the scariest? I mean, when your woman's a witch, who KNOWS what she can do to ya?
Whats that? Turn a little smoky into a Bratwurst....poof. |
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