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Topic: Little confused, advice?
Kleisto Joined Tue 05/13/08 Posts: 5704	Mon 07/20/09 06:47 AM
Ok so to make a long story short, I met someone online a few months ago. We talked for a while, just a one time thing at the time seemed like. Few nights back she sends me a message out of the blue, and we started talking again. This time, our chat turned into a really deep talk about many things, and we've chatted daily since (with the exception of yesterday) in the same fashion. We get along real well, understand each other, care for each other, and we both are beginning to develop rather strong feelings for the other. Except there's one little problem..... In her area (she's in Australia for the record), there's a guy that has liked her for a long time, but never really acted on it. They've talked a bit off and on, and she's not sure what's going to happen there. Now we've talked of things before, as far as me coming between them, or putting her in a position where she's choosing between him or me basically. I don't want her to be in a spot like that, I want her to be happy, whether she ended up with me or not, as much as I may wish to be with her. Having said all of that, I've been thinking that maybe her and I should sort of cease talk for now while she figures out everything in her head, as to what she wants, and just what is going on. I want her to be able to make a decision clearly, for her, not for me or this other guy, but for her. I was gonna talk with her about this next time she's online, but wanted to know what you guys thought of it all? Would it be ok to still be communicating with her here, or should I back off as I'm thinking?

tngxl65 Joined Sat 01/12/08 Posts: 6189	Mon 07/20/09 06:52 AM
Why can't you be friends? It's not like you're physically in the way. Keep it at a friend level. The odds of you two getting together are pretty remote anyhow and the logistics are not on your side. And right now you're #2. I wouldn't push for anything unless you become #1.

lonetar25 Joined Mon 05/18/09 Posts: 3531	Mon 07/20/09 06:55 AM
you tricked me when you said long story short, didnt you

redhead44613 Joined Fri 01/18/08 Posts: 12976	Mon 07/20/09 06:56 AM
The distance is going to make or break the relationship, even if you do get together how can you trust someone so far away?

trunner69 Joined Thu 10/30/08 Posts: 762	Mon 07/20/09 06:56 AM
My friend, hhhmmm longdistance relationships....If you love someone set them free...ever hear that??? It would be a good idea to discuss this with her and see what her intentions are?? Some things for you to think about...Are you prepared for a long distance relationship??? What are the chances of you two getting together physically in the same location??? And finally, what are her intentions with this other guy??

Kleisto Joined Tue 05/13/08 Posts: 5704	Mon 07/20/09 06:58 AM
The distance is going to make or break the relationship, even if you do get together how can you trust someone so far away? If you knew how deep some of our chats have gone, you'd understand. We've really connected through them, spending hours chatting back and forth the last few days.

redhead44613 Joined Fri 01/18/08 Posts: 12976	Mon 07/20/09 07:00 AM
The distance is going to make or break the relationship, even if you do get together how can you trust someone so far away? If you knew how deep some of our chats have gone, you'd understand. We've really connected through them, spending hours chatting back and forth the last few days. well she can just be telling you what you wanna hear. News flash people lie on the internet more then you think.

Kleisto Joined Tue 05/13/08 Posts: 5704	Mon 07/20/09 07:00 AM
My friend, hhhmmm longdistance relationships....If you love someone set them free...ever hear that??? It would be a good idea to discuss this with her and see what her intentions are?? Some things for you to think about...Are you prepared for a long distance relationship??? What are the chances of you two getting together physically in the same location??? And finally, what are her intentions with this other guy?? Long distance thing, did it once already though it fell apart. As for now, I'm willing to do whatever I could to make it happen and be there with her if it went that way. She's kinda motivated me in that way. Lastly, with this other guy, I'm not sure, we've discussed it her and I about him, but shall see what happens. There's more to it then that regarding him, but I'd rather keep that aspect private.

Kleisto Joined Tue 05/13/08 Posts: 5704	Mon 07/20/09 07:01 AM Edited by Kleisto on Mon 07/20/09 07:01 AM
The distance is going to make or break the relationship, even if you do get together how can you trust someone so far away? If you knew how deep some of our chats have gone, you'd understand. We've really connected through them, spending hours chatting back and forth the last few days. well she can just be telling you what you wanna hear. News flash people lie on the internet more then you think. Yes I am well aware of that, as was she. In fact, it took her a while to actually trust me enough even tell me her name, she wasn't gonna at first at all, but she did.

PATSFAN Joined Mon 12/10/07 Posts: 42782	Mon 07/20/09 07:03 AM
The distance is going to make or break the relationship, even if you do get together how can you trust someone so far away? If you knew how deep some of our chats have gone, you'd understand. We've really connected through them, spending hours chatting back and forth the last few days. well she can just be telling you what you wanna hear. News flash people lie on the internet more then you think. Exactly!

lonetar25 Joined Mon 05/18/09 Posts: 3531	Mon 07/20/09 07:05 AM
The distance is going to make or break the relationship, even if you do get together how can you trust someone so far away? If you knew how deep some of our chats have gone, you'd understand. We've really connected through them, spending hours chatting back and forth the last few days. "the last few days" well it must be lurrrve

redhead44613 Joined Fri 01/18/08 Posts: 12976	Mon 07/20/09 07:07 AM
you are only 21 (like me) we still have much to learn bout life an relationships. I would just stand back an let her decide, just be a good friend an support whatever road she takes. You do not wanna move all the way over there an mess up your life here. Things might not work out with her. You should take some risks in life but you really need to think things thru better.

Kleisto Joined Tue 05/13/08 Posts: 5704	Mon 07/20/09 07:07 AM
The distance is going to make or break the relationship, even if you do get together how can you trust someone so far away? If you knew how deep some of our chats have gone, you'd understand. We've really connected through them, spending hours chatting back and forth the last few days. "the last few days" well it must be lurrrve Like I said before if you only knew how deep our chats have gone, we've shared a whole lot in the time we have been talking, believe me, more then you think.

catseyes1 Joined Fri 06/19/09 Posts: 1459	Mon 07/20/09 07:13 AM
The distance is going to make or break the relationship, even if you do get together how can you trust someone so far away? If you knew how deep some of our chats have gone, you'd understand. We've really connected through them, spending hours chatting back and forth the last few days. "the last few days" well it must be lurrrve Like I said before if you only knew how deep our chats have gone, we've shared a whole lot in the time we have been talking, believe me, more then you think. Any one can have long and deep conversations. I agree LDR's never really last that long. I would give her time to decide what SHE wants to do. I would not push the subject of making you two a couple as of yet.

lonetar25 Joined Mon 05/18/09 Posts: 3531	Mon 07/20/09 07:15 AM
The distance is going to make or break the relationship, even if you do get together how can you trust someone so far away? If you knew how deep some of our chats have gone, you'd understand. We've really connected through them, spending hours chatting back and forth the last few days. "the last few days" well it must be lurrrve Like I said before if you only knew how deep our chats have gone, we've shared a whole lot in the time we have been talking, believe me, more then you think. does she know the iratating noise you make when you eat? or the face you make when you get annoyed? or what you smell like?

tngxl65 Joined Sat 01/12/08 Posts: 6189	Mon 07/20/09 07:20 AM
The distance is going to make or break the relationship, even if you do get together how can you trust someone so far away? If you knew how deep some of our chats have gone, you'd understand. We've really connected through them, spending hours chatting back and forth the last few days. "the last few days" well it must be lurrrve Like I said before if you only knew how deep our chats have gone, we've shared a whole lot in the time we have been talking, believe me, more then you think. I don't mean to sound jaded, but we've all seen this hundreds of times. You're not the first, nor the last. Online, long distance relationships are not real relationships, no matter if she knows about your deepest, darkest secrets and the name of your pet hamster in grade school. Real relationships are the ones where she sees that you spit a little when you talk and she decides you're worth keeping around anyhow.

Kleisto Joined Tue 05/13/08 Posts: 5704	Mon 07/20/09 07:22 AM
The distance is going to make or break the relationship, even if you do get together how can you trust someone so far away? If you knew how deep some of our chats have gone, you'd understand. We've really connected through them, spending hours chatting back and forth the last few days. "the last few days" well it must be lurrrve Like I said before if you only knew how deep our chats have gone, we've shared a whole lot in the time we have been talking, believe me, more then you think. Any one can have long and deep conversations. I agree LDR's never really last that long. I would give her time to decide what SHE wants to do. I would not push the subject of making you two a couple as of yet. Yeah I know, I was gonna broach the issue of stepping aside so as not to confuse her any more then she already is now, with the feelings she has began to feel toward me.

Kleisto Joined Tue 05/13/08 Posts: 5704	Mon 07/20/09 07:23 AM Edited by Kleisto on Mon 07/20/09 07:23 AM
The distance is going to make or break the relationship, even if you do get together how can you trust someone so far away? If you knew how deep some of our chats have gone, you'd understand. We've really connected through them, spending hours chatting back and forth the last few days. "the last few days" well it must be lurrrve Like I said before if you only knew how deep our chats have gone, we've shared a whole lot in the time we have been talking, believe me, more then you think. I don't mean to sound jaded, but we've all seen this hundreds of times. You're not the first, nor the last. Online, long distance relationships are not real relationships, no matter if she knows about your deepest, darkest secrets and the name of your pet hamster in grade school. Real relationships are the ones where she sees that you spit a little when you talk and she decides you're worth keeping around anyhow. This is true, though for whatever it's worth, she had told me after seeing my picture that even if I was the ugliest person in the world (not that she thought that of me lol) , if I treated her as I've said I would and such, she'd love me anyway.

lonetar25 Joined Mon 05/18/09 Posts: 3531	Mon 07/20/09 07:26 AM
has she asked for your credit card number yet?

redhead44613 Joined Fri 01/18/08 Posts: 12976	Mon 07/20/09 07:29 AM
has she asked for your credit card number yet?