I don't know how I would feel as a younger woman because I do not see a significant difference between any of the services and I liked being a military wife. Maybe because I had a good military husband that I will say first and formost is not as rare as some might think.

But in all honesty I purposely did not seek another military spouse because I never again wanted to put the majority of my life on "hold" every time duty called to come up empty handed by a spouse that ended up Rif'd shortly before retirement. I felt betrayed as I am sure any "unemployed" wife would feel.

But I also felt like my country betrayed not only my husband, who was and exempliar soldier by the Army's on declaration, but my family, my children, and myself who made years of sacrifice going where we were sent good, bad, or otherwise to end up dumped (without even a prorated retirement) because of some obscene rule that said if there was no place to promote him that he could not simply keep doing the same good job at any other position in the military laterally or even a demotion in responsibility. I was furious that the country was deprived of his extensive experience and devotion and we were deprived of the security we had planned our whole lives around. That we had no rights to fight it seemed obscene.

I know our "situation" is not unique as are the hardships of younger military families and I think young people see that and it makes them question wheather getting involved with a military member is worth the sacrifice. Many bases are closed, houseing is all but a thing of the past, and many of the "perks" are a disgrace.

And that does not even touch the fact that it is a very dangerous occupation that discharges the dependent veteran with what is basicly a frozen earning potential for the rest of his life which computes to poverty because many injuries happen to young soldiers with minimal rank and very little time in service.

Even soldiers that are suppose to return to their "jobs" are coming home to an economy that doesn't have jobs or affordable houseing for them.

Sadly many just don't want to sign up for that. Is is unfair? Yea but I don't know how we can fix it.

So true.

As to the question of military spouse's being abusive I have to say that the military community officially and culturally have a zero tolerance for spouse/child abuse.

A military spouse who even appears to be neglected or abused to chain of command has and extensive package of protections and resources that they can turn to. The FIRST thing a dependent is breifed on and has reiterated with every assignment is where and how to access these protections by virtually telling anyone 24/7/365.

Protections that basiclly force a service member into out of the home houseing, constant supervision, and into counseling until an investigation has been compleated and the family is deemed safe. There are resources to return the family to Home of Records and afford support and you do not ever have to worry about collecting a child support order for a dependant child as long as the member is in service.

While a girlfriend or live in parent does not get services if a civilian goes to the local Adjudent General and can show anything that appears to be abuse a service member will be in so much trouble you can just about guarantee you will never see them off post/base again.

Something to keep in mind before you move in with a service member and then get into a situation that they don't have to pay the rent because they have the right to abandon a lease when ordered in. Something local landlords do not like and can make you a black sheep when it comes to finding future houseing and or getting to marry another service member. Keep in mind any service member does have to permission of Chain of Command to marry and ignoreing their counsel can have some nasty results.