ok ok ok ok ok... so this neutron walks into a bar and asks 'how much does a drink cost here?' the bartender looks up at him and says 'for you? no charge.'

That's F%*@^g funny right there!

A jump lead walked into a bar, and the barman says 'ok, i will serve you, but dont start anything'.

I actually laughed out loud!

You are so berry, berry punny!

a hot dog and hamburger walk into a bar and the bartender tells them 'hey hey, we dont serve food here'

thank you!

Four fonts walked into a bar and the barman says 'get out we dont serve your type in here'

a horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks 'why the long face?'

This duck walks into a bar and the bartender looks at him and says, "Hey, buddy, your pants are down..."

This grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!"

The grasshopper replies "Really? You have a drink named Steve?!"

So i was in the bar and this guy asked me for a game of darts, i said 'ok, nearest bull starts?', he said 'Baa!', i said 'Moo!', he said 'you win.'.

thats a new one for me. im gonna tell it all wrong next time im drunk at a party.

A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead.

As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!"

The panda yells back at the bartender, "Hey man, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!"

The bartender opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: "A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves."

A Frenchman walks into a bar and he has a parrot on his shoulder. The parrot is wearing a baseball cap. And the bartender says, "Hey, that's neat — where did you get that?" And the parrot says, "France — they've got millions of them there."

My last one ...

A rabbi, a priest, and a bishop walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"

now i have heard that one before... its still funny though

True story

Jimi Hendrix and Mitch Mitchell walked into a bar and the barman refused to serve them, saying 'we dont like your kind in here'.

Jimi thought it was because he was black, but it turned out the local circus was in town and they didnt serve clowns. Mitch Mitchell apparantly fell to the floor pissing himself laughing.