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| Topic: Losing your best friend cuz you love her... | |
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This has happened to me so I am speaking from the girls side of this- My best friend and I were friends for 3 years when he finally told me he was in love with me I stepped back. I couldnt imagine seeing him in a sexual way.. It made me feel strange. Love is a very strong word when used in the sentence " I have fallen in love with you". I finally stopped talking to him all together.. I wished he would had never confessed his feelings I never gave him mixed signals or gave him the impression I was into him more than friends.. He picked me up when I was down and was someone I could crawl in bed with in the middle of the night if I needed someone to talk to I miss that .. But with the friendship we had I didnt want him to think I was physically drawn to him.. I dont think she is coming back to you .. Honestly I think you scared her off sorry to hear about this It will be hard I still Miss my BFF!!!! obviously the cat is out of the bag, but i'm curious, in what circumstance would you be his friend again roko |
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it never would have happened any differently. if she is not feeling it early on then it would only be prolonged torture.
forgive yourself the pain and her the lack of feeling. meet and date new people as soon as you can - and call all your old friends to help you get through it. you cannot swallow your feelings and be friends in this situation it would only bring more pain to both of you. as unique and great as she was with you, you can be absolutely certain that there are thousands upon thousands of women out there who would be just as great with you and many of them could also easily fall in love with you. so, get going on calling all those old and new friends and it will help. 
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Edited by
GRIFFIN_LIZZARD
on
Sat 07/11/09 09:33 AM
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All I know is that no matter how I feel about her right now, my life will have a very large hole in it without her, even just as a friend.
Also, Personally, If I had a friend that fell in love with me, but I only felt friendship, There is no way I would force an exit, I would be flattered to have someone love me, no matter what the situation. I would explain it, but I would accept anything she wanted to give and happily. |
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Edited by
Jamie82
on
Sat 07/11/09 09:45 AM
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I have been through this...It isn't easy at all. I was friends with him for 6 years we did a lot together. As time went by he would act more and more distant whenever i was dating someone. So eventually I went to him and wanted to get to the bottom of things. He expressed his feelings and i expressed mine weren't the same. We stayed friends for atleast another year after that until i got into a serious relationship. At that point he just stopped calling to see how i am and stopped emailing me etc. It was very hurtful that such a great friendship had to end. But i also tried putting myself in his shoes and i understood that it must not of been easy for him to have to deal with these feelings and me not feel the same.
Nobody can control if they're going to fall for someone, It's just sad when a friendship gets ruined by something that isn't "bad" so to speak, so i understand this far too well 
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Guys, woman are so hard to figure out, especially when they are older [so it would seem to me]. At least you had fun for three months with her. With the last woman I met here, we had three dates, and then silence from her. She is beautiful, ladylike, and intelligent [not at all affectionate though] and from the end of the first date on I said to myself "why am I doing this??" I seem to doubt that I will ever find a woman to love and have a real relationship again.
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I have been through this...It isn't easy at all. I was friends with him for 6 years we did a lot together. As time went by he would act more and more distant whenever i was dating someone. So eventually I went to him and wanted to get to the bottom of things. He expressed his feelings and i expressed mine weren't the same. We stayed friends for atleast another year after that until i got into a serious relationship. At that point he just stopped calling to see how i am and stopped emailing me etc. It was very hurtful that such a great friendship had to end. But i also tried putting myself in his shoes and i understood that it must not of been easy for him to have to deal with these feelings and me not feel the same. Nobody can control if they're going to fall for someone, It's just sad when a friendship gets ruined by something that isn't "bad" so to speak, so i understand this far too well
It's hard enough in life to find true friends, and loving that friend should be a good thing I would think. But Being IN love is a risk worth taking for the happiness of the friendship in the first place. |
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Griffin unless your friend gave you the indication that she felt the same, you should have squashed that feeling... Women can be just friends and when you're a friend they don't often switch to the other lane...
A friend of mine did the same thing to me... I was very hurt and blown away that he changed our friendship, especially since I knew him well enough to know that he fell in love like he changed his underwear... We stayed friends but it always seemed weird and stressed after that... To this day we are friends but he's more angry than anything so I really don't talk to him that much... |
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Griffin unless your friend gave you the indication that she felt the same, you should have squashed that feeling... Women can be just friends and when you're a friend they don't often switch to the other lane... A friend of mine did the same thing to me... I was very hurt and blown away that he changed our friendship, especially since I knew him well enough to know that he fell in love like he changed his underwear... We stayed friends but it always seemed weird and stressed after that... To this day we are friends but he's more angry than anything so I really don't talk to him that much... Actually she did, she told me all the time she loved me, I guess she meant it in a friendship caring meaning rather than a romantic one. Thats why this is so hard, we saw each other 2pm sunday and I said love you when I dropped her off and gave her a kiss, she said love you talk to you later. At 9:30pm I tried to call her to say goonight she ignored my call, so I waited, and then got a text message saying "I'm not feeling it, it's over. |
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Griffin unless your friend gave you the indication that she felt the same, you should have squashed that feeling... Women can be just friends and when you're a friend they don't often switch to the other lane... A friend of mine did the same thing to me... I was very hurt and blown away that he changed our friendship, especially since I knew him well enough to know that he fell in love like he changed his underwear... We stayed friends but it always seemed weird and stressed after that... To this day we are friends but he's more angry than anything so I really don't talk to him that much... Actually she did, she told me all the time she loved me, I guess she meant it in a friendship caring meaning rather than a romantic one. Thats why this is so hard, we saw each other 2pm sunday and I said love you when I dropped her off and gave her a kiss, she said love you talk to you later. At 9:30pm I tried to call her to say goonight she ignored my call, so I waited, and then got a text message saying "I'm not feeling it, it's over. Maybe I missed this on the other pages but did you two ever have an intimate type of friendship? |
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Edited by
GRIFFIN_LIZZARD
on
Sat 07/11/09 10:38 AM
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Griffin unless your friend gave you the indication that she felt the same, you should have squashed that feeling... Women can be just friends and when you're a friend they don't often switch to the other lane... A friend of mine did the same thing to me... I was very hurt and blown away that he changed our friendship, especially since I knew him well enough to know that he fell in love like he changed his underwear... We stayed friends but it always seemed weird and stressed after that... To this day we are friends but he's more angry than anything so I really don't talk to him that much... Actually she did, she told me all the time she loved me, I guess she meant it in a friendship caring meaning rather than a romantic one. Thats why this is so hard, we saw each other 2pm sunday and I said love you when I dropped her off and gave her a kiss, she said love you talk to you later. At 9:30pm I tried to call her to say goonight she ignored my call, so I waited, and then got a text message saying "I'm not feeling it, it's over. Maybe I missed this on the other pages but did you two ever have an intimate type of friendship? yes, we did but it seemed weird, so it kinda got put on the back burner for both of us. It was too early for both of us I thing. |
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That explains a lot... I don't think this was your fault or the fact that you told her you loved her.. I think she did something she wasn't sure about then decided she couldn't handle it...
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what gets me is we were fine, then poof we're done... I still don't get it. At least to me we seemed fine.
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what gets me is we were fine, then poof we're done... I still don't get it. At least to me we seemed fine. People do that sometimes.. It sucks but don't fret over it.. Her loss... |
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what gets me is we were fine, then poof we're done... I still don't get it. At least to me we seemed fine. People do that sometimes.. It sucks but don't fret over it.. Her loss... Then why do I feel it's my loss?
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because you cared for her... you'll get past it and move on, it was only 3 mos (I believe that's what you had said)..
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because you cared for her... you'll get past it and move on, it was only 3 mos (I believe that's what you had said).. yes 3 months, heck I did not feel this bad at me and my ex's breakup after 7 years. |
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It was still new, you didn't get to the fighting and annoyance stretch...
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this situation sucks..... y? cause im in that position right now only difference i still haven't tell her i am afraid of losing her , i've known her for 5 years and i wish i could do what u did man.
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this situation sucks..... y? cause im in that position right now only difference i still haven't tell her i am afraid of losing her , i've known her for 5 years and i wish i could do what u did man. Sorry to hear that, But I do know that if you step up and it fly's you'll be so much more full inside, if it don't well, you always have these nice people to help you through it. Good luck.... |
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this situation sucks..... y? cause im in that position right now only difference i still haven't tell her i am afraid of losing her , i've known her for 5 years and i wish i could do what u did man. 5 years is a long time.. How are you ever going to move forward? Would seem torturous to me.... |
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