There was this guy sitting on a park bench muttering to himself and
spitting.

He would mutter, then spit, mutter, then spit, he would say, "Damn, that
sonofab1tch can drive", then spit, "Damn, that sonofab1tch can drive",
then spit, "Damn that sonofab1tch can drive"... then spit.

A man sits down next to him and asks him, "What's going on here? You
keep saying, "Damn that sonofab1tch can drive, then you spit."

"Well," says the guy, "my friend just got a brand new sports car, so he
calls me and asks me if I want to go for a ride. So, I say sure, why
not? He picks me up and we drive up to the mountains. After we have
lunch, we start back down the mountain and his brakes go out!!He's
pumping the pedal, and nothing!! So now we're picking up speed and the
road is all twisty and curvy. We're going faster and faster, and it's
hard to stay on the road. I've got my fingers embedded in the dashboard,
and I'm pleading with him to do something!! We're going about 90 mph
now, with a sheer cliff on our right, a 500 foot drop on the other side,
an 18 wheeler truck right on our butts, and an overturned motor home
right in front of us. Well, I figure this is it! I just knew we were
gonna die! So I turned to him and said, "Buddy, if you can get us outta
this, I'll give you the best damn blow job you've ever had!"

He paused ... then spit. "DAMN, THAT SON OF A B1TCH CAN **DRIVE**!!"

Just goes to show: don't make a promise unless you're going to keep it!

Guess he did!!

better him then me

omfg thats too much

lmao