For a while now I have wondered what is really going on.I have been practicing Meditation for about a year. It was something I chose to do myself, I feel like I have managed to succeed in this to a point. It has made me feel things that I have never felt before. I have also looked into Grounding & Centring, Chakra,all sorts. I think what spurred it all was the build up and the event of my Mother's death. Having seen her and felt her after her passing, I know I'm definatly onto something that I can accept and almost feel perfectly comfortable with. This is the part where i start to seem naive & uneducated, am I following any particular way or life or religion by being interested and curious about these things?
Another thing, every now and then for the last few months, I have started to pick up major vibes from people. I know its quite easy for anyone to pick up positive,happy vibes from others. Its just on 3 occasions I have picked up servere negative vibes from people,one occasion i had to leave the place i was sharing to "escape" from it, the other time...wasn't as servere...however on the last occasion, it was as strong as the 1st, I had never met this person before but he was talking to me and my friend. Another person I actually knew came in and i went and taked to her.Before i had said anything about how i was feeling around that man, she said; "sorry i would come sit with you, but that guy over there...he is...completely insane, i dont like him.." After that I have been wondering whats going on with that too!lol
Its been confusing for me, being a very skeptical person the whole of my life. Taking things on a "I'll believe when I see" basis. Then suddenly almost being enlightened to the possibility that there is something else I almost believe in now.
What is going on? (I know that its hard to say exactly, but I would appreciate feedback from ANY standpoint )

We all pick up positive and negative vibes from each other. But many many people ignore it. Those who tune into themselves find the sense becomes heightened because they have become aware of it and are willing to listen to their senses. Meditation isn't confined to a religion so its perfectly compatible with any one belief or even no belief. Same with chakras. It becomes a matter of being willing to learn and not let your mind and skeptical side overrule with your body and essentially your instincts are telling you.

Take a deep breath, let it out.
Your mind has wandered off again.
Gently bring it back to Center.

Breath in, let it out................

thank you

Becoming attuned to our spiritual essence can be a naturally confusing experience. This is especially true for those of use, like you and me, who have not practiced spiritual techniques in the past so much and are, in some very reall sense, approaching spirituality from an intellectual point of view.

This is unavoidable. We have no choice to approach it from an intellectual point of view because we are attempting to learn what it is all about via an intellectual understanding (i.e. methods that we learn from other people, such as meditation, etc.)

To complicate matters even more there are so many different paths to spritiuality that they can often become confusing. As a personal example, I've been stuyding both the path of the Eastern Mystics, as well as the path of celtic necromacists.

I've also read the first three instructional books on Witchcraft by Christopher Penczak which I found very helpful in general terms.

Anyway, to get to my point (and to an experience very simliar to which you speak) allow me to continue.

For the past several months I've been meditating in various forms. I've been doing both transcendental meditation (meditation divorced from thought) as well as meditation on thoughts (i.e. Shamanic Journeying). Both types of meditations are similar at their core but also clearly different in their purpose and focus.

In any case, all forms of meditation help us to become more senstive to spiritual vibrations. These most certainly include the emotional vibrations of other spirits (including those who live in human bodies!). In other words, every human you meet is spirit also.

So what happens is this,...

Through meditation we are opening ourselves up to the spiritual elements that exist all around us. However, because we are somewhat knew to this we often don't fully understand how to make connections, nor even do we understand precisely what it is that we are connecting to!

Now for me personally I've been attempting to connect with the geni loci of my land. I've been meditating on this for quite some time and although I feel OPEN to the spirit, I haven't really felt that I've actually connected with the spirit yet.

Now here's the catch,...

I've also been living in a fairly secluded environment so I haven't been interacting with human spirits much at all. It's true I go to the stores shopping and things like that. But people don't tend to share emotions in those enviroments so openly. So even though I was WIDE open for emotional energy, I wasn't meeting with people who were reaching out with emotional energy.

However, last Saturday I attended a social party. This was the first social event I had attended in months, if not years. Especially on this scale. There were at least 100 people at this party.

Moreover, I did not know anyone at this party other than the host himself. So I was basically attending a social event full of complete strangers.

What happened was not good.

I was introduced to a few people, smiles were exchanged, handshakes were awkward, and conversations seemed to always end awkwardly as well.

I had no clue why this was happening, but I just shrugged it off. By that I mean I just intellectually shrugged it off. I thought to myself, ok, these people don't know me, I don't know them. Everything seems to be getting off on the wrong foot here and no one is to blame. For some reason things just got off on a wrong footing and everything went downhill from there.

It got to be that I found myself sitting aound in a corner all alone just hoping that no one would even notice me much less speak to me.

I finally decided to just leave, which I did.

I shugged off the whole event as being just a weird thing. Intellectually I felt that I had completely dismissed the whole thing like as if it had never happened.

However, EMOTIONALLY, for some strange reason, I had this horrible gut feeling like something horrible had happened. Like someone had died, or that I had just committed murder or whatever. It was a very real and quite profound gut feeling. No amount of intellectual dismissal or attempts to simply ignore it as being irrelavent could drive it away.

In fact, I still feel this way a full 3 days later!!!

There was nothing I did that was wrong. There was nothing anyone else did that was wrong. Just for whatever reason things didn't click that night at the party and I just didn't fit into the 'vibes'.

I've been pondering over this ever since. Why can't I just dismiss these feelings and 'let go' of them?

I'm starting to realize now (especially after reading your post here) that what apparently has happened is that by stilling the waters of my own emotions for so long via meditations, I created a situation where all these bad vibes were easily able to stir the pond so-to-speak. And now I can't just intellectually dismiss them. I need to work on channeling this energy or transforming it into a different frequency.

This is where the confusion comes into play because I'm not well versed in how to transform spiritaul energies. I'm reading tons of books on techniques for doing this. But putting them into actual practice is a whole other thing.

And this is where the different schools of thought come into play.

Eastern Mystics often take the stance that it's all in the mind. In other words, you free yourself from these things by simply 'letting go' of them. But that doesn't seem to be working.

The Celtic Necromacists seem to take the stance that certain rituals need to be perform. Spiritual Alchemy is required to transform these vibrations into a different frequency, or they need to be transferred to another object.

Like I say, I have tons of books that offer various rituals and techniques for doing this, I simply haven't fully mastered the techniques yet. In fact, many of these techniques suggesting appealing to other spirits (such as your geni loci), to remove or transform these emotional energies for you. But my problem is that I haven't been able to establish a connect with my geni loci yet. I do know some fairies that I could call upon, but I hate to burden them with this. I'm only just now befriending them as it is.

But now, at least I'm gaining some understanding of what's going on.

So I think I fully understand what you are speaking about. What I'm unable to do is provide you with a suitible method for dealing with it.

Seeking out a real live nemcromacist, witch, or empath, to help you would be my only advice.

But I do think that what happened to you is similar to what's happening to me. You've opened yourself up to emotional energy by meditation, and then you got zapped by someone's negative emotional energy because you have no clue how to guard against that sort of thing, or to transform it or ground it.

Actually I haven't truly tried grounding this out. Maybe I should try that. Maybe it's that simple.

Abra, ground and shield, ground and shield! Meditation works on our ownselves and we learn to control our own energies. But, and speaking from experience both mentally and physically, when people tend towards a solitary existence, we don't remember to shield. Others will affect your energy field, intentionally or not. Even friends who know you will do so and most strangers are worse.

Yes, I live a very solitary existence. Extremely so. I don't think another human being has been inside my cottage for almost 5 years. So my private space is very private and free from the vibrations of others.

I don't think in terms of sheilding and I haven't studied that aspect of the craft much because of my solitary lifestyle. So I probably left myself wide open. I fully understand that other's do not even need to intentionaly do this. Many people can inflict negative energy upon others without even realizing it. It's a natural thing to do, and no knowledge of any spiritual craft is required to do that.

I did sense that one guy in particular did seem to be extremely hositle toward me (especially considering that we only just met).

Perhaps he was just angry with the world and looking for someone to take it out on. It is possible that he was simmering over something and maybe mentally focusing on me with his negative vibes the whole time I was there unbeknownst to me. That would have been like casting all his negative energy toward me the whole time. Even if he had no clue (from a spiritual point of view) what he was actually doing.

Possibly I reminded him of someone he has a grudge against or something like that. People do this quite often actually. When they have negative feelings for someone, and then meet a stranger who reminds them of the original purpose, they will tend to dump their negative feelings onto the stranger. It's easier for them because then they don't need to deal with 'feedback' from a person they actually know.

This may very well been what happened. Whatever happened was profound. I haven't feel good for several days now. I just feel like someone very close to me died, or like as if I had committed a horrible crime. It's just a really rotten feeling that dragging me down, and I know it's totally unrealted to anything I've actually done. It came from having attended that party. Something wasn't right there, and whatever it was I bought it home with me.

Intellectually shrugging it off doesn't seem to be working. I tried grounding a little bit ago and that hasn't helped either.

I'm going to try an aura cleansing meditation and see if that helps.

If not, I might ask these fairies if they can help. They do seem to be friendly enough. I haven't actually communicated with them yet. Well, I have, but not to the depth of an actual linguistic conversation. They do seem to telepathically know what I'm thinking though. They just respond by actions. If I ask them to help, they'll just do what needs to be done if they respond at all.

Assuming they can do anything about it. I'll give the aura cleansing meditation a shot first. There's something in there about removing connections to other people. Maybe I've made an aura connection that needs to be released.

I guess if I'm going to continue with my spiritual journey I'm going to need to learn the art of protection and sheilding. I've truly been ignoring that aspect altogether. I've just been trying to reach out to the fairies, the geni loci, the Goddess, the Gods, and the elemental spirits. For some reason I just don't fear evil spirits. And I guess I forgot about the human spirits altogether.

Seems like we always need to keep out defenses up whether we like it or not.