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Topic: Everything but Nothing??
no photo
Tue 06/16/09 09:57 AM
Edited by TeeHeeHeeHeeHee1961 on Tue 06/16/09 09:59 AM
But that's why you asked the question Ella, it's ON your mind!!

I'm in your shoes too when I meet a guy. Not to sound stuffy or snobbish but I do believe that society makes us think in ways of 'status' and 'levels' and sometimes a man just might not be up to mine.

Take this guy I was 'dating' last year for example. He was a blacksmith. Not a high level profession but he was very creative and passionate about his craft. That was a turn on to me. He didn't make much money but that was OK with me 'cause of his passion and aspirations. So it wasn't about money, that could have changed and even increased in time.

I got rid of him 'cause he was one of the most BORING men I've met in a long time and socially inept, too. I didn't get the emotional and OMG! NO PHYSICAL!!! aspects from him so POOF! he was gone. LOL LMAO

BTW ~ Define High Maintainance?!? Hhhmmmmmm???

lilith401's photo
Tue 06/16/09 10:00 AM
Ahhhh. This is a class issue.

But, NO. You'd like to think it is.


If he is your peer and you respect him, despite any SES or class situation.... then all the rest would not matter.

SimplyElla's photo
Tue 06/16/09 10:02 AM

But that's why you asked the question Ella, it's ON your mind!!

I'm in your shoes too when I meet a guy. Not to sound stuffy or snobbish but I do believe that society makes us think in ways of 'status' and 'levels' and sometimes a man just might not be up to mine.

Take this guy I was 'dating' last year for example. He was a blacksmith. Not a high level profession but he was very creative and passionate about his craft. That was a turn on to me. He didn't make much money but that was OK with me 'cause of his passion and aspirations. So it wasn't about money, that could have changed and even increased in time.

I got rid of him 'cause he was one of the most BORING men I've met in a long time and socially inept, too. I didn't get the emotional and OMG! NO PHYSICAL!!! aspects from him so POOF! he was gone.



You are right about society and all ... and it sucks...
I do enjoy this man.. I was drawn to him because of how positive and fun he always is no matter the troubles that are there.. he is always smiling and laughing.. he loves life.. I guess it is shallow that I think wow look at what he has or not has and he is happy and yadda yadda.. then here I am like he makes me enjoy the finer little things that used to pass me by.. he is making me live for more of the NOW and not so much the later.. make sense?

I guess seeing it now.. is prioving to myself that I am/was/am just nervous bc how society and others would or are looking at it - status wise. ohwell

SimplyElla's photo
Tue 06/16/09 10:04 AM

Ahhhh. This is a class issue.

But, NO. You'd like to think it is.


If he is your peer and you respect him, despite any SES or class situation.... then all the rest would not matter.



I suppose it is a class issue... sadly
It is almost like a ... Daddy will never approve of his daughter to be with someone like that.. friends are fine but leave it at that.. type deal... get it?

The one man in my life I would hate to upset or let down is my father, but heck I deserve to be happy no matter my choice.

lilith401's photo
Tue 06/16/09 10:06 AM
My parents would always want me to be happy. They'd judge quietly on their own.

Snugglesbyfire's photo
Tue 06/16/09 10:07 AM


But that's why you asked the question Ella, it's ON your mind!!

I'm in your shoes too when I meet a guy. Not to sound stuffy or snobbish but I do believe that society makes us think in ways of 'status' and 'levels' and sometimes a man just might not be up to mine.

Take this guy I was 'dating' last year for example. He was a blacksmith. Not a high level profession but he was very creative and passionate about his craft. That was a turn on to me. He didn't make much money but that was OK with me 'cause of his passion and aspirations. So it wasn't about money, that could have changed and even increased in time.

I got rid of him 'cause he was one of the most BORING men I've met in a long time and socially inept, too. I didn't get the emotional and OMG! NO PHYSICAL!!! aspects from him so POOF! he was gone.



You are right about society and all ... and it sucks...
I do enjoy this man.. I was drawn to him because of how positive and fun he always is no matter the troubles that are there.. he is always smiling and laughing.. he loves life.. I guess it is shallow that I think wow look at what he has or not has and he is happy and yadda yadda.. then here I am like he makes me enjoy the finer little things that used to pass me by.. he is making me live for more of the NOW and not so much the later.. make sense?

I guess seeing it now.. is prioving to myself that I am/was/am just nervous bc how society and others would or are looking at it - status wise. ohwell


The bottom line is Can you enjoy your relationship and help nurture it and grow with it if society and others are against it?

no photo
Tue 06/16/09 10:13 AM
Edited by TeeHeeHeeHeeHee1961 on Tue 06/16/09 10:14 AM
My parents were ITALIAN!! hahaha
They were never quiet or without judgement!! LOL

Let me just add here that I made some poor choices in my life because of what I thought others wanted or in trying to please others. I married because my parents and society 'said' that a 30yo should be settled in a relationship. I had a child because my mom kept asking when she was gonna be a grandma. Not that I really didn't want them myself BUT if I just thought about ME and what I truly wanted at that time or was BEST FOR ME, I would have had a very different outcome in my life.


Snuggles ~ I don't think it's actual socitey but the one that she has fixed in her mind.

PATSFAN's photo
Tue 06/16/09 10:15 AM
Once you let go of what society/ others think, you will enjoy life so much more.

lilith401's photo
Tue 06/16/09 10:17 AM

Once you let go of what society/ others think, you will enjoy life so much more.


Ohhh yah, yankees are wicked good at that! rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl

Snugglesbyfire's photo
Tue 06/16/09 10:18 AM

My parents were ITALIAN!! hahaha
They were never quiet or without judgement!! LOL

Let me just add here that I made some poor choices in my life because of what I thought others wanted or in trying to please others. I married because my parents and society 'said' that a 30yo should be settled in a relationship. I had a child because my mom kept asking when she was gonna be a grandma. Not that I really didn't want them myself BUT if I just thought about ME and what I truly wanted at that time or was BEST FOR ME, I would have had a very different outcome in my life.


Snuggles ~ I don't think it's actual socitey but the one that she has fixed in her mind.


I think we all realize that its her family that she has fixed in her mind. Doing what you wish, going against what your parents want and wish for you is hard sometimes impossible to do. Especially if your young. Pleasing our parents is something most wish and desire to achieve.

PATSFAN's photo
Tue 06/16/09 10:19 AM


Once you let go of what society/ others think, you will enjoy life so much more.


Ohhh yah, yankees are wicked good at that! rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl



Works for me. I could care less what people think I should do or be like.

SimplyElla's photo
Tue 06/16/09 10:19 AM

My parents were ITALIAN!! hahaha
They were never quiet or without judgement!! LOL

Let me just add here that I made some poor choices in my life because of what I thought others wanted or in trying to please others. I married because my parents and society 'said' that a 30yo should be settled in a relationship. I had a child because my mom kept asking when she was gonna be a grandma. Not that I really didn't want them myself BUT if I just thought about ME and what I truly wanted at that time or was BEST FOR ME, I would have had a very different outcome in my life.


Snuggles ~ I don't think it's actual socitey but the one that she has fixed in her mind.


Well I am 100% Polish.. Parents off the boat- literally...
My father's parents came here with nothing and built a great life many would be jealous of... my father built his own little empire and is strict with his daughters... we can do anything we want with anyone we want and yadda yadda.. he just needs to approve.. ha ha.. i know i know i am an adult and great yeah I am.. i live my own life bust my arse through college three times just to be doing something not because I had to but i also want to stand on my own two feet... and well i guess idk... maybe i feel no that ppl will judge so much as my father but since we are not at the same "status" and all that at some point where he be stepping on my toes and it keeping me from gaining ground and all.. make sense? I don't want someone to hold me back but instead push me forward or all that jazz..

SimplyElla's photo
Tue 06/16/09 10:22 AM


My parents were ITALIAN!! hahaha
They were never quiet or without judgement!! LOL

Let me just add here that I made some poor choices in my life because of what I thought others wanted or in trying to please others. I married because my parents and society 'said' that a 30yo should be settled in a relationship. I had a child because my mom kept asking when she was gonna be a grandma. Not that I really didn't want them myself BUT if I just thought about ME and what I truly wanted at that time or was BEST FOR ME, I would have had a very different outcome in my life.


Snuggles ~ I don't think it's actual socitey but the one that she has fixed in her mind.


I think we all realize that its her family that she has fixed in her mind. Doing what you wish, going against what your parents want and wish for you is hard sometimes impossible to do. Especially if your young. Pleasing our parents is something most wish and desire to achieve.


I wont lie.. my family has done a lot and at times too much.. heck ok everything for me... i owe them to become the person that see me to be.. I wouldn't have been able to live the life i do with out my fathers blood and sweat.

SimplyElla's photo
Tue 06/16/09 10:23 AM

Once you let go of what society/ others think, you will enjoy life so much more.



I enjoy life.. I do really.. I love mine.. I get what you are saying though.. but yeah..

no photo
Tue 06/16/09 04:18 PM
Edited by TeeHeeHeeHeeHee1961 on Tue 06/16/09 04:19 PM
Ella, I love your pic btw.
Do you think that Kermits parents would approve of him eating off that poor cats head?!? heheeheee
Or how about dating that fat Pig of a girlfriend of his. OMG! Different animal, heck a different species!! WTF!!! LOL

I've learned that you have to do what makes YOU happy. To do that one you must truly find yourself and get to know your inner workings. 'Cause in the end, sorry to say it so bluntly, your parents will be old, senile, or dead and you will be left alone with a very unhappy life that you lived to fulfill THEIR dreams!! And what will you have to show for it but a legacy of sorrow and regrets.

Don't allow this to happen to you. Search for your inner joy and allow yourself the opportunity to GROW away from the norms that were forced upon you but may NOT necessarily be yours. Make sure that your next 'moves' are what you want. Don't think of this as acting selfish BUT self-fulfilling. Isn't it selfish of others to place THEIR expectations on youand make you bend over backwards to please THEM?!!?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ... if only I practiced what I preached so many years ago.
But at least I'm learning this for myself, too, now!!


Good luck to you in your decision and in finding your way through this.

SimplyElla's photo
Thu 06/18/09 09:01 AM
flowers Thank you TeeHee.. You have hit some points there that I am now willing to see.. My life is mine.. Time to grow up and put my foot down I suppose.. Ha ha.




As for Kermit and Miss Piggy.. shocked rofl rofl Too cute!

Gossipmpm's photo
Thu 06/18/09 09:03 AM
Isn't that the real meaning of life?

no photo
Thu 06/18/09 11:49 AM

Isn't that the real meaning of life?


what huh What are you getting at Gossip?!

SimplyElla's photo
Thu 06/18/09 12:21 PM

Isn't that the real meaning of life?


huh Isn't what?
A lot of points have been made... which are you speaking of? Ha ha

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