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| Topic: The Odd Things I Think About | |
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I met a female friend at the Dunkin' Donuts to help her write a paper, because even though she is from Liberia, where the native language is English, she don't speaky it well. I noticed that she had on tight jeans and I mean really tight jeans; they lifted and separated her butt cheeks half way up. It looked like butt cleavage or camel toe in reverse. Before I could decide whether it was s&xy or disgusting, I began to wonder what type of underwear one would wear under those jeans. A thong? The string would be a good two to three inches up there, I wondered if it was so far up that it was getting digested, or whether it would garrotte her in half. Then I thought, well she may be wearing panties, in which case I doubted that she was not gonna leave a stain on them. Or what if she was not wearing any underwear, she would probably leave a smear on the those jeans and need to burn them. At one point she noticed me staring at her butt and asked what I was doing, all I could think to say was "your butt smells". She insisted that it didn't and that I take it back. I pointed out that at some point I am sure it does and I won't take back a therefore truthful statement, but said I was sorry if I hurt her feelings. I thought what if she farted? It would look like a mouse running down her leg and then I got obsessed with making her crap herself. So I decided to tickle her. She apparently sensed that and took off running through the parking lot. So I chased her. She started yelling that she rebuked me in the name of Jesus. People started staring. I gave up and went to my car and she smacked my butt and was yelling at people that my butt stinks. While I never found out what type of underwear she was wearing, the waist band was grey. Now I ask you, where can a normal guy like me meet a normal woman. There must be one or two out there.
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Edited by
KimmiM
on
Wed 05/20/09 09:35 AM
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Aww, hon. There is no such thing as a "normal" person. Didn't you get the memo?
It's along the same lines as a "nice guy" and an un-opinionated woman. 
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I hope you got a donut and some of that YUMMY coffee!
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Garrote means to strangle. As in the neck.
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Normally I could form words for this....
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I would have like to see you running after her.......that must have been a sight
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 This had me laughing the whole way through...
Thanks for the morning entertainment... - - - - - - - I was thinking that.. You could maybe keep her around to crack walnuts for you with her azz when you are watching the game.. It would be a good novelty item and before you know it everyone would want one... You could sit on the royalties and wait To-Be-Rich...
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Garrote means to strangle. As in the neck. Please forgive my poor choice of words. I stand corrected and ashamed of all my inadequacies. My only hope is that some of your perfection will rub off on me and I can be a better person. |
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Vocabulary understanding does not equal perfection.
Would you prefer I posted to your ridiculous "story"....? |
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Vocabulary understanding does not equal perfection. Would you prefer I posted to your ridiculous "story"....? It's all in humor... He was referring to the string garroting her in half.. Although it is usually referenced to neck strangulation. If it was used as a verb wouldn't it mean to strangle? I don't think it was so far out of context...
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/garrote |
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Yep. I got that. Strangulation is only to the neck. That was my point. You can't strangle any other part of the body.
Which was a sarcastic comment, also meant in fun. |
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Yes it is all in humour. I am glad you liked my story, sometimes I feel I do these things so I can write about them later. The poor women who have suffered for my art!
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Yep. I got that. Strangulation is only to the neck. That was my point. You can't strangle any other part of the body. Which was a sarcastic comment, also meant in fun. I didn't realize you couldn't strangle any other part of the body..?
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I will leave the strangulation for a later conversation. But it is possible to do so on more then the neck! 0o
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Yep. I got that. Strangulation is only to the neck. That was my point. You can't strangle any other part of the body. Which was a sarcastic comment, also meant in fun. I strangled a man's penis once with a hair tie...won't do that again...his nut blew up... 
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Yep. I got that. Strangulation is only to the neck. That was my point. You can't strangle any other part of the body. Which was a sarcastic comment, also meant in fun. I strangled a man's penis once with a hair tie...won't do that again...his nut blew up...
Owww!- did he say it hurt so good?
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Yep. I got that. Strangulation is only to the neck. That was my point. You can't strangle any other part of the body. Which was a sarcastic comment, also meant in fun. I strangled a man's penis once with a hair tie...won't do that again...his nut blew up...
Owww!- did he say it hurt so good?
Was just a lil c@ck ring experimentation...he said he liked it until later...then WOW! One of 'em blew up!
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Yep. I got that. Strangulation is only to the neck. That was my point. You can't strangle any other part of the body. Which was a sarcastic comment, also meant in fun. I strangled a man's penis once with a hair tie...won't do that again...his nut blew up...
Owww!- did he say it hurt so good?
Was just a lil c@ck ring experimentation...he said he liked it until later...then WOW! One of 'em blew up!
That's a good visual..ha! My balls just went -yipe! yipe! yipe! and tucked down deeper between my legs...
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Yea...between TBRich's "garrotted" booty & my "blown-up-nut" story...I believe this thread has def hit an all-time low!
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