No, you aren't. I was brought up the same way.

Finally someone! Ha.. thank you

You saved me lol

My parents even came to me when I was dating my husband and said "we think you're seeing too much of each other. Somethings gonna happen". I said, "what do you mean, like SEX?!?!" They were mortified I'd said the word aloud!

Yeah my mom is that way.. thinks I am still a virgin..lol once I told her yes mom I am having sex and yes I like uit.. she has never bothered to ask anything ever again.. Grew up with old fashioned values I guess.

I think it is sweet how parents now matter how much they really may know and all.. they think.. well hope we are still their little innocent babies.. he he.. so dear..

This is the problem with most men they are brought to be "nice" guys and not be ually aggressive and end up in the friend zone.

gee....i never felt this DIRTY before.
kinda nice.

To the Original Poster: I think what you say about love and sex is valid. However, the messages have always been mixed up. "proper sex" as you stated was supposed to be achieved when we waited and got married and were ready to have children. Is that proper sex or is that proper love? or is that a mutually respectful situation where a healthy sexual relationship can safely be explored where consequences can be more easily predicted and their outcomes mutually handled?

There are arguments for both sides. The people who wait...and the people who don't. Personally I don't see the point of waiting.

Sex should never be wrapped up in mystery. It shouldn't be confused with sin. It shouldn't be judged or used as any sort of currency. It should be enjoyed. It's primal. It's healthy. It's human.

Love. That can be spiritual. It's healthy. It's bonding. It's mysterious. It's unique. Expressive. Almost akin to an art. It can be subtle. It has a currency. It has value and should be treasured and not wasted and not confused with sex.

So that's my view points on your subject, for what my opinion is worth...which is about nothing. Because what is valid for me is not valid for another person... and so I'm just talking to talk.

Well off my soapbox.

Sorry if I bored anyone.

Love and marriage, love and marriage go together like a horse and carriage... and ends up like a bad TV sitcom.

OOOPS

I remember hearing the words "French kissing" at school and not knowing what it meant so I go home and ask my Mother. She said (I kid you not) "that is what French people do" and proceeded to demonstrate by kissing me on the cheek and having me kiss her cheek simultaneously!

I agree with you on most if not all on what you had said..

I add to it that I...

I personally feel that sex should be seen as it was in the 60s and 70s.. a mean of physically enjoyment with one you are attracted too.. I feel that sex and love are too different playing fields... and if one is to be attracted to someone sexually and want to express it that shall free feel on doing so.. sadly with the uprise in STDs, AIDs, and VDs that free love has gone to be no more... 2

Okay Ella, now you've got me to thinking about all those kinds of talks with my Mother. I remember her telling me, or trying to about sex. She said the VERY basics of what he puts where.. LOL And I asked, "How long does he do that? How long does it last?" She thought for a second and said "It varies".

YEARS later I got what she meant!

LOL.. ha ha ha.. Bless your mother for telling you the truth I suppose huh?! Ha ha.. Nice!

i was not raised this way... NOT that I was told to be promiscuous or anything, i was just taught that "natrual" things were not taboo... my parents did not lie, or embellish - they just made me realize there are consequences to actions... so i am naturally more open and curious and don't have 'hangups' when it comes to sex... it's natural, and if it's mutually concentual... wtf is wrong with having some fun!! besides, sexual intimacy and variety (within the monogamous relationship) is/can be an important compnent of a relationship, i think that you should not "feel bad" or be "embarassed" about what you like... it's a part of who you are! (nope, not gonna share my fetish with the board, but many people have them, and imho, should embrace and enjoy them)....

You are def right on people being comfortable with their sexuality, wants, needs, and desires.. Fetishes are healthy and fun.. being able to find someone that can enjoy them with you with t he same excitment means a lot as well too though, he hee..

Oh safety is a must! I'm not saying that sexuality should be something that we should cheapen by going with anyone simply for the sake of the freedom of it, however I don't think it's a marriage only thing.

It is nice to see someone recognizing that sex is something that isn't necessarily dirty and that it is separate from love. I see sex as physical and love as something so completely beyond that.

If I fell in love with everyone I was willing to sleep with? I'd have very little heart left.

If I slept with everyone I wanted to? I'd probably lose interest in it. (Like finally kissing that hot guy I liked in High School to find out he was the WORST KISSER EVER! Big disappointment. Thinking about it was much better)

I'm not being clear here... but I think the bones of what I'm trying to say are exposed enough.

Sex and Love.... So different from each other... but if they are in the same relationship... everything is SO much better. However it is not necessarily a must.

EXACLTY



I did not mean to simply going having sex with who ever and what ever but that if both are mutuall feeling the itch to they should feel free too because sex is sex and a beautiful fun thing to be shared with each other.. so be it everyone has their hang ups to who they will and prefrences as we all know but I mean.. grr. I guess I don't see it as so 'sacred' that it has to be something shared with only yout husband/wife or with someone you LOVE...

did I make any sense?? ha ha

You make perfect sense.