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| Topic: The George Carlin Book Club. | |
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Edited by
uk1971
on
Sun 05/17/09 05:23 AM
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 "We've Got Books Out The Ass"
Offer #1: "How-to" titles *How to Remove Chewing Gum from your Bush *How to Turn your Front Lawn into a Cathouse *How to Remove an Infected Cyst from a Loved One *How to Make Two Small Hats out of a Brassiere *How to Make a Brassiere out of Two Small Hats *How to Have Really Nice Lymph Glands *How to Act Laid-back During a Grease Fire *How to Spot a Creep from Across the Street *How to Dance with a Swedish Person *How to Induce a Clergyman to Grab you by the Nuts *How to Milk a Dog While it's Sleeping *How to Get Through College Without Books *How to Make a Small Salad out of Your Work Pants *How to Lure a Weasel Into a Cardboard Box *How to Filet a Panda *How to Get a Tan with a Blow Torch *How to Make an Oil Lamp out of Your Genitals *How to Style Your Hair with a Bullwhip *How to Convert an Old Leather Chair Into Twelve Pairs of Shoes *How to Achieve Multiple Orgasms with a Pair of Tweezers *How to Kill a Rat with a Paper Clip *How to Lease Out the Space Inside Your Nose *How to Spot Truly Vicious People in Church *How to Become a Total F*ckin' Greaseball Offer #2: Advice and Self-help Titles *Where to Go For a Free F*ck *Eat, Run, Stay Fit, and Die Anyway *You Give Me Six Weeks and I'll Give You Some Bad Disease *Why You Should Never Mambo With a Policeman *The Stains in Your Shorts Can Indicate Your Future *Earn Big Money by Sitting in Your Car Trunk *Where to Take a Short Woman *I Gave Up Hope and It Worked Just Fine *Why You Should Never Yodel During an Electrical Storm *Fill Your Life With Croutons *Six Ways to Screw Up Before Breakfast *I Suck, You Suck *Reorganizing Your Pockets *Where to Hide a Really Big Snot *Why You Must Never Give Yourself a Neck Operation *The Wrong Underwear Can Kill *Now You Can Cure Cancer by Simply Washing Up *Lightweight Summer Ensembles to Wear on the Toilet *Why No One Should Be Allowed Out Anymore *A Complete List of People Who Are Not Making Progress *Where to Throw Up Secretly *Ten Things No One Can Handle At All *Why You Should Not Sit for More Than Six Weeks in Your Own Filth. Offer #3: General Interest Titles *Twelve Things Nobody Cares About *The Picture Book of Permanent Stains *Firecracker in a Cat's Asshole: A Novel *The Complete List of Everyone Who Enjoys Coffee *The Complete British Empire Registry of Blokes *Ten Places No One Can Find *Tits on the Moon (science fiction) *Why Norway and Hawaii Are Not Near Each Other *The History of Envy *The Pus Almanac *One Hundred People Who Are Only Fooling Themselves *Diary of a Real Evil Prick *Carousel Maintenance *Why It Doesn't Snow Anymore *The Dingleberry Papers *A Treasury of Poorly Understood Ideas *Why Jews Point *The Golden Age of Tongue Kissing *Famous Bullsh1t Stories of the Aztecs *The Meaning of Corn *Feel This: A Braille Sex Manual *A Complete List of Everything That Is Still Pending *Really Loud Singalongs for the Hard of Hearing.  
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 NICE!!!!!
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Damn, I miss him.
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