100% FREE ONLINE DATING
sponsored links
Previous
| Topic: Styx & I Had A Baby | |
|---|---|
|
|
|
Is that a trick question evad???
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Waitress: Here you go, fella. From Flappy himself.
Stewie: I don't care if they... [Stewie is force-fed a bite of pancakes] Stewie: Oh... oh these are delectable. Hey, Flappy. Good news. I've decided not to kill you. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Brian: Hey, if every woman dumped her husband for crashing a blimp into
the Superbowl, no one would be married. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Stewie: The breakfast thing. Yes. It wasn't even about the eggs, really.
Frankly, I like the yolks. I don't... I have no problem... it's just there's always been a lot of tension between Lois and me. And it's not so much I want to "kill" her. It's just I want her not to be alive anymore. Uh... I sometimes wonder if all women are this difficult. And then I think to myself, "My God! Wouldn't it be marvelous if I turned out to be a homosexual?" |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Brian Griffin: Peter, only one gift was for charity. The rest were for
the family. Peter Griffin: No, the rest were FROM the family... weren't they? Aw crap, since when did they change the meaning of "for" to "from"? Brian Griffin: I think they had a meeting about it last night. Peter Griffin: Why wasn't I told? Brian Griffin: They sent you a card, but it said 'For Peter' on it, so you must have thought it was FROM you, so you didn't uh... You know, it's just easier to call you stupid. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Stewie: Oh I feel so delightfully white trash. Mommy, I want a mullet.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
[on being the First Lady of "Petoria"]
Lois Griffin: I'll be just like Hillary Clinton, only you know, without the penis. 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Stewie: [Picking up the phone.] Hello, operator. Hello... Oh god, that's
right you have to punch in the numbers nowadays. Uhhh, I should know this. Oh yes, [dialing number] Stewie: 867-5309, yes that's it. Wait that's not it, damn you Tommy Two-Tone. Huh, only one thing to do 111-1111, Lois? Damn. 111-1112 Lois? DAMN. 111-1113... |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Guy in chicken costume: The world is gonna end at midnight tonight. Y2K.
Peter Griffin: Y2K? What are you selling, chicken or sex jelly? |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Stewie: Come any closer and I'll cut her.
[realizes he's holding a tongue depresser] Stewie: I'll give her a series of splinters... that could become infected. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
AGHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Im going crazy!!! you gurlz!!!! where'd you steal those scripts? OK, keep the fun and Im outta herre!!! nite Stef nite SongB nite Stewie nite dave |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
gute nacht Gwen !!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Meg Griffin: Can I be in the play, Mom?
Stewie Griffin: Oh yes, you can be the dumpy teenage girl who cries backstage because no one finds her attractive. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Duh Gwen we are SPIES-Oh Damn Now we must kill you...
 Stewie: [hitting on some co-eds] I must say, the most recent campus sporting event was quite spectacular. Co-ed: Aw. Are you in a fraternity, little boy? Stewie: Not yet, but I'm thinking of joining I Felta Thigh. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Lois: You see Meg, I'm like one of those Bald eagles on the Discovery
Channel. Beautiful to look at... but mess with one of my baby chicks and I'll use my razor-sharp talons to rip your [oven dings] Lois: ... ing eyes out. Cookies are done. Who wants chocolate chip? |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
put the children to bed now ,,,,,,,,it's the mom's and dads turn
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
huh? Darren
GPS System: Turn left at fork in road... in native Russia, road forks you. Peter Griffin: [sighs] That got old real fast. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
pappa, take charge of these gurls
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Peter Griffin: Chris is not as smart as you think he is...
[Peter slaps Chris in the back of the head] Chris Griffin: HEY. Peter Griffin: He did it. [Peter points to a nearby floor lamp, and Chris attacks it and starts fighting with it] |
|
|
|
|
