After a 10 year marrige..with a husband who cheated 5 or 6 times....talked down to me...asked daily who else would want me.....
how do you heal from that........is it even possible to trust or really truly love again????

I went out and banged everything that walked for about 8 months, but that didn't work. Making friends with people who respect you worked better for me.

hon, you need to find someone who respects you and love you for who you are. Trust me it's not easy, but they are out there.

taking things slow thinking alot about all you've been thru and learning from all of it that theres a better life out there for you just waiting

TIME

You may not be open to this or even consider it but seeing a therapist will do you worlds of good. I have been through nine years with my husband and six women that I know of. He never treated me like yours or was mean but he did a number on me. YES. You can heal and be stronger than ever if you get good help thru it. And you will be able to love and trust again. It will take a while but you WILL get there.

Counseling and self-reflection. That was an abusive relationship. For you to have happy healthy relationship, you might want to consider going through counseling. Often, most large cities or police departments have victims' assistance programs which program or refer to free confidential counseling.

find someone new

#1 start thinking about this not as your issue but that it was his issue. He is the one that from your statements was unhappy with himself and the situation and only tried to bring you down to his level and make you as miserable as he was. He bears the guilt in this situation both for being a cheat and for being a verbal abuser. Don't start second guessing and asking what did I do to deserve being treated this way. NO ONE DESERVES TO BE ABUSED. NOT VERBALLY OR PHYSICALLY. You start by accepting that as fact, knowing within yourself that it was his actions that made you feel badly about yourself not your own. And you accept yourself for who and what you are, make plans to start changes for things you aren't happy with, and forgive yourself for letting him make you doubt yourself.

first off, you did not deserve to be treated the way you were (noone is)... your an attractive, young woman with the rest of your life ahead of you!

is it possible to trust, or truly love again?...

I'm no pro, i'm not trying to solve your problems in one post, but I will share my experiences... hopefully some "tid bit" might help you in some way...

i am going thru the same thing that you are... married a bit longer than you by a few years, marriage ending for the same reason... it's been a long time since the end, and i am now "back" enough to begin again....

how did I do it?...

i woke up every morning telling myself "I am a good and worthy person, who deserves to give and receive love"... i began attending my local church... i began doing small things in my life for a feeling of accomplishment... i took on small tasks, finished them... then tried larger tasks.... then larger tasks... (in life and in work)...

i wrote down a list of things that i wanted to become in the future (more physically fit, a better guitar player, a better friend to the people that I care about)....

eventually, over time... i began to regain my confidence, esteem... and I discovered a lot of things about myself along the way... some good, some bad. I try to enhance the good, and change the bad bit by bit in small ways...

long story short, I say "Yes" you will be able too... just don't expect it to come in a day, a week, a month... maybe not even a year... it's baby steps... baby steps to your new destination... with determination, you will look back one day and say "I did it!!"...

maybe spend some time to focus on you... and not worry so much about meeting someone else... it will happen all in due time...

keep your chin up!

I know i dont love him any more... to be honest i dont think i was in love with him for a long time. I became kind of numb to it all after so long.
I know some day i want to have another relashonship...not for a while but some day.....
i am just afraid i will always be so guarded..and that worrie will always be in the back of my mind.
I seem to be blocking people from the real me.......i am hoping if that right person comes along they will have the patiance to wait me out you know?......im just not sure if thats a fair thing to ask of someone..........

Counseling! You have to be able to look at yourself, past relationships and what you will want in future relationships, so that the cycle of violence/abuse isn't repeated!

http://www.mcedv.org/

There are a lot of women out there that have had the same treatment. And I know of one personally and no matter how well she was treated by me she went back to him after their divorce was final. Why because she couldn't accept that he was to blame not her. I agree get some professional help and believe in yourself That your better then he ever deserved. Hold your head high and never again let someone walk on you like that.. do not allow yourself to become another of those women who just don't believe in themselves. I want someone in my life that has a positive outlook about themselves That tells me they can contribute to a healthy relationship. Not be apart of a problem. here is your lollipop

...lol..thank you