If I don't speak to any of my living relatives, does that make me a bad person? Or is that ok?

What would be the reason?>???

If it's your decision there must be a reason for your decision.

Do you feel like a bad person by not speaking to them?

How many living relatives do you have?

I don't think so..jmo..

I didn't realize until recently how badly my parent's choices affected me. The psychologist is calling it ptsd. It had to do with constant threat of violence from my dad, and my mom going off to medical school and leaving my sister and I alone with him.

I'm not mad at them, I just don't want to have to forgive them for it - because if I forgive what they did to me, that would make child abuse acceptable somehow in my mind. I never want it to be ok to do what they did.

4 - 2 sisters and mother/father

I don't think it makes you a bad person. I am in the same situation with my own family. My mother and I haven't spoke in two years. I believe we don't need people in our lives that drag us down, and make us depressed.

Good to hear - thank you.

I think it's okay to take time to heal. That's what I am doing.

You talk about the parents , What about the two sisters ?

I would never say it's "okay" not to talk to family, unless they had done something truly heinous, such as um, Killed your brother or something.

The only true measure is this:
If they all died tomorrow, are you okay with never dealing with it or talking to them again?

My older sister has become my parents, and it scares the hell out of me. She is what I would have become if I didn't wake up and see this before it was too late.

My younger sister is just going off to college. She's my half sister, so she didn't get what I got from my dad (the high school counselor by day/violent psychopath by night).

I'm not really sure how to talk to her though, or even what to say. I don't know if she's going to feel hurt that I don't come to holiday events or talk to our mother.

it's fine. i used to have a boss who said 'just because someone gave birth to u doesn't mean u have to love them'. it's entirely up to u

swallow that pill called pride

I've dealt with it - I've defined them to be evil. Doing that allowed me to see everyone else on earth as the good guys and my parents as the bad guys. It feels like the end of an endless war for me.

I can't say anything that is better than this.


You forgive for you, not for them.

I don't know how to forgive someone without saying they were right to do what they did.

"I don't know how to forgive someone without saying they were right to do what they did."

Forgiveness doesn't mean that one is saying that they are right - not even close.