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Topic: The big "C"
lulu24's photo
Tue 04/28/09 09:46 PM
okay, i'll be a bit serious for a change...

commitment does NOT equal trust. it speaks to a promise or covenant i've made with myself to take the relationship to the next level...it's a pact with myself to endeavor to learn more about the person i'm with, and to be more accepting of his quirks and faults in pursuit of "the long run".

a commitment can last a week, it can last a lifetime.

as i can only control MY actions...said commitment only defines MY outlook. i can make such without truly believing in my partner. his behavior is on his own head.

RyanJonx33's photo
Tue 04/28/09 09:47 PM
Edited by RyanJonx33 on Tue 04/28/09 09:51 PM
Well, I can bet you'd never commit to something that you couldn't trust..

lulu24's photo
Tue 04/28/09 09:48 PM

Well, I can bet you'd never commit to something that you couldn't trust..


oh, but i have...i even married him.

never did i trust him. ever. i knew him too well...

RyanJonx33's photo
Tue 04/28/09 09:51 PM


Well, I can bet you'd never commit to something that you couldn't trust..


oh, but i have...i even married him.

never did i trust him. ever. i knew him too well...


I don't mean this in a rude way.. To each their own.. But that's just stupidity..

lulu24's photo
Tue 04/28/09 09:54 PM



Well, I can bet you'd never commit to something that you couldn't trust..


oh, but i have...i even married him.

never did i trust him. ever. i knew him too well...


I don't mean this in a rude way.. To each their own.. But that's just stupidity..


LOL!!!

maybe so, maybe so...

*shrugs* i loved him, and i accepted him for what he was. he never cheated on me...but he was absolutely unreliable.

didn't come home when he promised, didn't pay the rent with the money i gave him, didn't show up for work when he ws supposed to...yada yada yada.

in the end, i left him. and you know what? i'll never get married at twenty again, heh. *chuckles*

RyanJonx33's photo
Tue 04/28/09 09:57 PM




Well, I can bet you'd never commit to something that you couldn't trust..


oh, but i have...i even married him.

never did i trust him. ever. i knew him too well...


I don't mean this in a rude way.. To each their own.. But that's just stupidity..


LOL!!!

maybe so, maybe so...

*shrugs* i loved him, and i accepted him for what he was. he never cheated on me...but he was absolutely unreliable.

didn't come home when he promised, didn't pay the rent with the money i gave him, didn't show up for work when he ws supposed to...yada yada yada.

in the end, i left him. and you know what? i'll never get married at twenty again, heh. *chuckles*


And I'll tell ya.. I'm 20 and would never think about getting married. I'm going to be with my girl now for a year and the only commitment I will make to her will be the same one I made from day one. A promise to be supportive, honest, and loyal.

lulu24's photo
Tue 04/28/09 10:01 PM
ah...but that IS a commitment. just not a marriage...

and that's awesome, by the way.

RyanJonx33's photo
Tue 04/28/09 10:03 PM
I do really feel something strong for her.. But until we live under the same roof.. Who knows? That's when you'll find out if all those little imperfections really do make the person you're with just right for you.

ProteinGirl's photo
Wed 04/29/09 04:04 AM

To me commitment can be summed up with one simple word . TRUST . WHen you commit to someone you expose are your strengths faults and dreams to one person .You are handing someone your heart , and trusting them to hold it gently not to use it as a weapon against you .


This is an excellent thought, thanks for sharing!

bastet126's photo
Wed 04/29/09 04:32 AM

I guess i will make this my one serious post of the night . To me commitment can be summed up with one simple word . TRUST . WHen you commit to someone you expose are your strengths faults and dreams to one person .You are handing someone your heart , and trusting them to hold it gently not to use it as a weapon against you .


this is nice, but that's love. committment is an agreement you make with yourself to carry something out in a certain way. one would hope that trust is part of a committment, but not necessarily. many relationships fail because committment is not seen in the same light by the two, or one falters on their committment and eventually it causes turmoil. a lack of committment can end a relationship before the love dies.

soundedmind's photo
Wed 04/29/09 04:34 AM
It means you're giving someone complete power to destroy you but trusting them not to.

It's.. a sucky word. I don't like it anymore. LOL.

no photo
Wed 04/29/09 05:00 AM

i'll be honest, i fear commitment.

i hate signing up for a new cell phone contract.

the reason i fear it all so is not the being committed to one thing without the chance for variety. i fear not being able to live up to my end of the commitment. and in the case of being committed to another person, i fear that they may tire of me and want to end the commitment.


. . .



Drew - For once I agree with you. I'm at this point now.

Now that I am single and living life on my own for the first time, the thought of some kind of commitment scares the hell out of me. I'm really beginning to like my life the way it is. Why would I ant to change a good thing provided it is working at the moment??

Then there is the aspect of not holding up my end in that I may fail someone else. Then, the thought of rejection at this point almost brings me to tears. I don't think I could handle that kind of upheaval and emotional roller coaster again anytime soon. I'm still recovering from my last tango.

For me, commitment is devoting myself to another in a relationship. Putting forth trust and on some level... love.

The only commitment I'm willing to attempt right now is my commitment to myself. And that is scary enough. laugh

DragonFlyTat's photo
Wed 04/29/09 05:54 AM
Beautiful Meg and yep it says it all to me at least.flowerforyou

FreeToB's photo
Wed 04/29/09 06:05 AM
Edited by FreeToB on Wed 04/29/09 06:07 AM

What does the word commitment look like or mean to you?


I think I mentioned approach-avoidance conflict yesterday! lol

Thomas Jefferson said, in the declaration of independence: We mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes, and our sacred honour. This works for individual commitment to one another as well, I think.

That Thomas Jefferson was a really smart dude, right?

74Drew's photo
Wed 04/29/09 06:10 AM


i'll be honest, i fear commitment.

i hate signing up for a new cell phone contract.

the reason i fear it all so is not the being committed to one thing without the chance for variety. i fear not being able to live up to my end of the commitment. and in the case of being committed to another person, i fear that they may tire of me and want to end the commitment.


. . .



Drew - For once I agree with you. I'm at this point now.

Now that I am single and living life on my own for the first time, the thought of some kind of commitment scares the hell out of me. I'm really beginning to like my life the way it is. Why would I ant to change a good thing provided it is working at the moment??

Then there is the aspect of not holding up my end in that I may fail someone else. Then, the thought of rejection at this point almost brings me to tears. I don't think I could handle that kind of upheaval and emotional roller coaster again anytime soon. I'm still recovering from my last tango.

For me, commitment is devoting myself to another in a relationship. Putting forth trust and on some level... love.

The only commitment I'm willing to attempt right now is my commitment to myself. And that is scary enough. laugh

what do you mean for once you agree with me? lol


. . .

Meg8771's photo
Wed 04/29/09 06:19 AM

Beautiful Meg and yep it says it all to me at least.flowerforyou



Thank you, I love that song. flowerforyou

no photo
Wed 04/29/09 07:34 AM


what do you mean for once you agree with me? lol



Well, a lot of times I think you are a cynical, sexist goofball... but at least you're cute. rofl

EquusDancer's photo
Wed 04/29/09 07:37 AM

As long as it does not involve marriage or kids, I'm all for it!!


Works for me!

SmilzRfun's photo
Wed 04/29/09 08:02 AM
Oh God, what a bunch of Pansies lol
Obviously you only commit to someone you care for and trust, if that's not there, well, then I guess commiting to someone would be silly ;). Commitment is just another word for Trust. my 2cents ;)

74Drew's photo
Wed 04/29/09 08:20 AM



what do you mean for once you agree with me? lol



Well, a lot of times I think you are a cynical, sexist goofball... but at least you're cute. rofl

i will agree with the cynical and sexist part. but a goofball?


wait, i mean the cynical and goofball part. i'm not a sexist.
at least i have the cuteness going for me.
thank you for that.


. . .

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