Little Old Lady


Defense Attorney:

Will you please state your age?


Little Old Lady:

I am 76 years old.


Defense Attorney:

Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?


Little Old Lady:

There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.


Defense Attorney:

Did you know him?


Little Old Lady:

No, but he sure was friendly.


Little Old Lady:

He started to rub my thigh.


Defense Attorney:

Did you stop him?


Little Old Lady:

No, I didn't stop him.


Defense Attorney:

Why not?


Little Old Lady:

It felt good! Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 20 years ago.


Defense Attorney:

What happened next?


Little Old Lady:

He began to touch my breasts.


Defense Attorney:

Did you stop him then?


Little Old Lady:

No, I certainly did not!


Defense Attorney:

Well, why not?


Little Old Lady:

His touching made me feel all alive and excited! I haven't felt that good in years!!


Defense Attorney:

What happened next?


Little Old Lady:

Well, I was feeling so 'spicy' that I just laid down and told him 'Take me, young man! Take me now!'


Defense Attorney:

And did he 'take' you?


Little Old Lady:

Hell, no! He just yelled, 'April Fools!'
And that's when I shot the little bastard.......