Parents approach teen dating in different ways. Some set strict rules while others let teens make their own decisions

how will you handle the teen dating scene?














Good Morning everyone.

Have a winning day!!

My boy will have to get that HPV Vaccine, first off. No way I'd let him be a carrier.

Also, I'd have the sex and respect talk with him a gazillion times, and buy him condoms. Have him show me he knew how to put it on by way of a banana demonstration. My health class did this and dammit it works. The incentive of having to condom up a banana in front of your peers makes you learn quick.

I think I'd encourage communication as much as possible and ask ask ask ask ask questions. The only stupid question is the one not asked, especially of your children.

I'm not going to let him boff his girl in my house or anything, but I'm not going to ignore his sexuality either. I caught him touching his little self on the couch last week. Just walked down the stairs and there he was... la de dah... We had to have the private time talk. He is seven. Arggghhhh!!!!!

I don't think it really matters much what rules you set, kids are gonna do what they're gonna do. The only way to stop anything is to make sure they are chaperoned 24/7. All I can hope is that I've taught my son manners, responsibility and some sense of ethics and that he behaves despite the raging hormones.

Thanks for sharing, Lilith

Horrify them with the realities of what sex leads to from getting kicked out of my house for getting pregnant or getting a girl pregnant because evidently they are adult enough to take on such responsibility to a nice photo gallery of what does wash off and what does not. Between fear and responsibility I would hope that they can see the need for protection and also limiting their activities at least while I get to know their respective (cough, cough)"friends" to second base only. If I see a real relationship between them and both of them can be tastefully up front with me then I might not have any objections but what they do under my roof is subject to my approval.

I was raised to get the boot at 18 but I beat my parents to the punch and bailed at 17. All I know is a hard cold world and conditional love. When I find true unconditional love I may change my thinking but the fact is at least MY wisdom came at a high price but I was smart enough to not have kids I could not support. I would hope my kids would share THAT wisdom at least without finding out the hard way.

Education is the key! Knowledge is power and ammo!

Sex education by fear doesn't work.

It's basically the same thing you had growing up.

Kids are going to have sex. With boys, it's with the first girl that says yes. What I'd suggest is remember what you were like at that age and approach it from that angle, but with a mature adult spin. Fear is ineffectual and actually causes rebellion, i.e. sex.

I agree,dating helps young people learn to get along with others, communicate, negotiate, make decisions, and learn to be assertive. It's an important part of growing up, and talking about it together will help your teen mature.

I always make sure I'm doing the driving.

I agree, rebel or withdrawl, either can be a consequence of fear.

i think a gun in one hand and a shovel in the other and a bag of lime will speak volumes when i wont

For once I agree with Bill and Hillary Clinton, the paragons of political correctness.
The story is that they told Chelsea.......

Don't "Do It" until you are 21.
And then we don't want to hear about it.

Honestly I would hope that my kids could be up front about it with me without having to resort to rebellion because I am a fond believer of escalating sanctions. Reprisal with pain does nothing but breed animosity. Denying them a trip to Six Flags Magic Mountain? Good start. Taking away their cellphone, computer, TV, iPod, and everything else other than books?
In all true honesty I think the one best way to help in teen prevention is not being a hypocrite to the kids about sex and relationships. If you have more than one making them all responsible for each other helps police the problem.
All in all it is communication and founding a relationship with them before they are teens is what makes all the difference in the world. If the house has problems when the kids are young then there are going to be problems later.
The number one source of Rebellion by teens is because of Religion. Hands down! You cannot use religion as a means to educate a child by for real world situations.
Saving it for marriage used to contain the problem sort of but these days? I think I would tell my kids this, Under 17 second base ONLY! After that most of it is good but it ain't ALL good. Again I would hope that being open with them about the genie and once they let it out of their bottle. On top of that if your kids are working after school and actually doing everything right by you you really need to let them have a lot more rope.
Kids from hell? Thirty days before they turn 18 file and serve them an eviction and kick them the hell out. They need to learn the hard way.

What really sucks is the apparent hypocrisy behind teen pregnancy too!

Andy


What age did you lose your virginity?

What age did you want to lose your virginity?

haha! whoop, whoop!

Easy answers,

21 and 18! It was not all that when I lost it either. I was forced to go to a high school that I was a social Pariah, my father was a manipulative piece of crap that embarrassed the hell out of me in public constantly, I had an after school job but daddy took my paycheck from me each week so I had no money. My mom even to this day feels like she is a million miles away from me even when we are face to face. I grew up in a highly dysfunctional (I was 15 when my parents went through a messy divorce) and very religious household. My father beat me for everything and if I would have gotten caught with a girl a three foot long piece of rubber washing machine hose was applied LIBERALLY to me like it was for other far lesser infractions.

That is part of the reason why I have not had kids yet. I had to get past a lot of another man's madness. I pay attention to details a lot of other people overlook and I see what works and what does not in other people's lives.

Needless to say I had a lot of BAD programming dumped in me I needed to get past.
I know how fear works. When you are told to respect your father by everyone no matter what as a kid you are forced by press of will to obey. I also know how pain works intimately. Come to think of it the principle at the school had permission to employ corporal punishment on me BY BOTH MY PARENTS.

Trust me when I say I know how conditional love is and how cold the world really is.

I do not want the dysfunctions of my past to affect my kids at all. To me that means treating them like people instead of kids for one. Also resigning myself to a lot of disappointment because kids screw up like I did. We all want what is best for our kids but they do grow up and do lead life for themselves and we need to know when to let go. At fifteen you have to begin the process of letting go and they have to begin to learn that life can be good if they earn it because it sure will not be handed to them.