A writer sent me an email asking me

And I quote: Mr Science. Why does my thangle have a particular dangle? It always dangles to the left. Why does it not dangle to the right?
Signed Timmy S. From Washington D.C.

Well the answer is simple...
And ALL Men are required to know this...

All men either have a left hand or right hand persuasion that has no effect on the angle of the dangle. There is a simple way to determine the exact angle of dangle.

The Angle of the dangle is proportionate to the mass of the ass predisposing the heat of the meat remains at a constant.

Increases in heat applied to the meat result in a gradually increasing angle of dangle until it reaches the critical inversion phase. Then it changes to the temporary condition known as Angle of Inclination.

Where it goes from there is up to the wielder.

Now bear in mind as the mass of the ass increases the tendency for angle in the dangle to diminish as this counteracts the angular Delta P of the thangle's dangle.



See you at the next science lecture!


Was I supposed to be serious all of the time now?

you have neglected the effect of chronic levorotary or dextrogyratory plastic deformation resulting in induced permanent symmetry-breaking !

Actually both factors affect the thermal dynamic hence changing the heat of the meat resulting an a change again in the angular Delta P.
Remember that plastic deformation is always radial and linear but never geometric. This always the end result of the alteration between the dangle angle Delta P vs. the the actual angle's Delta P that should be correctly be known as positive angle vs. Negative or dangle angle.

If the heat dynamic reaches 100% then positive angle should be better than it should be >90degrees. One variable to take into account is the mass of the ass because a fat ass will have an effect on positive angle because of the interference of ass mass lash back in the belly getting in the way and is represented by - Degrees (-Delta P(aF/bF)/(Hm + Fc) where aF=ass Fat in ounces, bF=belly Fat in ounces, Hm+ heat of Meat in Degrees Farenheit, and Friction constant which shoudl ususlaly be zero but if chronic levorotary or dextrogyratory plastic deformation is encountered then plase apply properly to said formula.

This thread makes me a little ill . . .