Isolation.
Desolation.
Activation of a feeling.
Looking outward
seeing inward
and I feel the ghost of you.
Father I expected so much more from you.
All I got was sorrow in the end.
I don't even have a photograph
to remember you by
but you are there
in my mind.

Not accepted.
dejected I just keep on trying
to find an explanation.
In my mind
I can feel you mother with your finger
on my soul.
It's all so fucking sick
how you just try to control.
I thought I could depend upon
you but I was only fooling myself.

All alone I walk the streets of life
and try to leave it all behind
but late at night I wake and
cry and wish I could've had more.

More feeling
More love
More compassion
A good thought to think of.

I allowed the dysfunction of
my childhood to creep into
my soul where anger, fear, and desparaton
made themselves a home.
Mom and Dad
I don't hate you.
I don't blame you
for my ability not to
feel a single fucking thing!

Doctor gave me a pill,
said it would take it all away.
Gotta say the shit didn't work
cos at times my father I feel
just as dead as you are in your grave.
Mother, mother always looking out
for yourself. I hope you think
of me and cry at night like I do
but I doubt it cos you have to
feel to cry. All I'm left
with are the questions why.

Note- I really experienced this shit.
My father abandoned me for over 10 years
and my mother really tried to fuck me
up emotionally. I thank God that good
people out there saw my situation
and got me the fuck outta there.
I got taken away from my mother
because of their efforts and
I went to live with my grandparents,
where I finally got to live a normal life.
My life was saved by good people who cared.

nice..WILL

hey jimi i feel you on that one but it was the outher way around for me
and dad was bad