Community > General Religion Chat

Topic: These word speak for themselves
splendidlife Joined Fri 03/21/08 Posts: 1171	Wed 03/18/09 10:13 AM
I've lived my life so focused on self These words we take literally seem to mean utter brutality! Perhaps they're more like code for greater understanding of relationship between self and higher self. No illusion/delusion dissolved (of only self as most important) until one actually identifies, acknowledges and accepts that they've been operating purely for self all along. Further faulting self for operating this way seems to only lead straight back to looking only at self. More of the same. Challenging one's own perception at the cost of utter abandonment of anything once believed. Will the Higher Self carry me through? How is anything not about yourself. Even if you only do something to help someone else, most would say it makes them feel good to do so. That is a selfish motive in and of itself. You only do good as long as it makes you feel better about yourself. We need to move away from this idea that there is such a thing as an unselfish motive. Even if one was to do good with no expectation of reciprocity immediate or at some point in the future, it either makes you feel good or you are just dutifully depositing with expectations of divine dividends. When I'm driven only by self preservation, I'm blind to what every other human has to teach me. That leaves me miserable and utterly isolated. Can't help but be aware of the self that I am at any given moment, but tired of doing so at the expense of seeing another. Dog-tired of the isolation. No formula to suggest that I "must not" focus on self. Just ideas that what I was living in kept me as an island. I'm not suggesting that we our lives as islands. I'm only suggesting that all actions at their lowest level are based in self preservation and satisfaction and that we should not feel any guilt in that. I further suggest that we stop putting those who purport to act selflessly on pedestals when in fact their motives boiled down to their purest from are no different than ours. The statement I made was not so much based on my guilt, but rather was an observation of results of my individual modus operandi and was more a question of this possibly being a common thread. You suggest we not put people on pedestals that purport to act selflessly. ACT is the operative word. Were all acting... I've lived my life so focused on self that it's cost me plenty (Yup... about me). Now that I have a child, I believe it's costing her and will continue to affect her (yes, there's some guilt). Is my wanting her happiness and fulfillment all about me? It is, in part, about me… for sure. Speaking only for myself, I believe it's imperative that I acknowledge how being completely self-driven can't serve any greater good… FOR ME... in this little corner of the world. I'm not trying to promote living a completely self-driven lifestyles or selfishness or narcissism, I guess my point is more academic. It doesn't have to be that one cannot find self-satisfaction in being a good parent. There are many things in life that can bring self satisfaction and many ways to pursue self-preservation that are not isolationistic. Off Topic, I know... But, your OP and the direction it takes, has raised important questions in me. In the realization that I have been driven by the needs of self in relationship with my daughter, I look to increasing my awareness of her needs as a human being and in fostering her own knowledge of who she is in this world... Not merely as a reflection of me, but as a wholly unique and powerful individual. Thank you, Thomas, for what you bring. And in that you have broken the chains that bind our children to our past foolishness! You have made a very fantastic leap of evolution in thinking! You have given your daughter a gift so many parents refuse their children and that is self discovery and guidance to that end. You have my deepest heart felt praise! It is unfortunate that EVERYONE acts in all ways towards self interest and rising above that is one of the greatest things we can do in our lives and that means rising above religion! This is also apparent in the way parents guide their children in light of THEIR own idealism even if they conflict with the person that is the child who seek their own way after about 12. I think part of it is that parents do not like feeling their mortality as their children become self reliant and also parents have a hard time coping with the fact that eventually the Goslings will spread their wings and fly away. I think it is called 'empty nest syndrome.' If only I could just break those chains one-and-for all. I still catch myself reacting in the same old ways. All I can do is correct it each time. It's hard not faulting myself... Again... THAT'S about me. Beyond the tyranny of my thinking (like religion), I seek greater understanding and capability.