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| Topic: Top Things You Don't Want to Overhear Over an Airline P.A. | |
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1. Ocean crossing flight: This is your Captain speaking, I just wanted to take this time to remind you that your seat cushions can be used as floatation devices. 2. Hey folks, we're going to play a little game of geography trivia. If you can recognize where we are, tell your flight attendant and receive an extra pack of peanuts. 3. Our loss of altitude allows a unique close up perspective of the local terrain. I assure you that it's all part of our airline's new commitment to make your a flight a sight seeing extravaganza. 4. Goose! Bogey at 2 o'clock....one on our tail!!!! Eject!!!! Eject!!!!!!! 5. Ummmmmm....Sorry......(silence) 6. (As the plane turns around right after takeoff)....uhhhhh....we have to go back ....we ..we ....uhhhhhh ....forgot something..... 7. I'm sure everyone noticed the loss of an engine, however the reduction in weight and drag will mean we'll be flying much more efficiently now. 8. Fasten your seat belt. (same tone your friend with the suicidal driving tendencies uses when you get in the car). 9. This is your Captain speaking....these stupid planes are a lot different than the ships I'm used to.. so you'll have to give me some leeway... 10. It would be a good idea if right now everyone closed their shades and watched the in-flight movie. 11. We've now reached our cruising altitude of 20,000 feet and ... Oh noooooooo!!!!!.. 12. Don't worry! That one is always on E... 13. Get the parachutes ready... 14. Drinks are on me... 15. I'll have what the Captain's having... 16. Hey capt'n take another hit man... 17. What's this button do? 19. That beeping means dinner's ready. 20. Is there a pilot on board? 21. Is that a missle? 22. Does anyone speak Russian? 23. No, no, push THAT button. Ohhh! 24. Could we get another beer up here? 25. I don't know. Where's the manual? 26. (computer voice) Collision imminent! 27. Ditch... That's when we land in the water right? 28. I thought you were flying this thing! 29. Eenie meenie miney mo! 30. Where are the parachutes?  
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Edited by
Magbalihi
on
Thu 03/05/09 08:38 AM
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Busy, busy day in the big city!!!! Lots of airplanes trying to get in and out!!!! Pilots trying to get a word in edgewise on the frequency cause the controller is so busy!!!! When ....all of a sudden......the controller on the ground keys up his radio and says.....OH SH*T!!!!!
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