Disappointed with hurt,
The hurt that fills my heart & my life,
Disappointment everywhere I turn,
No matter what I do,
Forever this will remain,
The disappointment of being hurt repeatedly,
Nobody believes me,
I put on an act,
Inside is the disappointment & the hurt,
Being hurt by people,
Being used & pinned down with no control,
Those around me have held me down,
Disappointment lurking everywhere now,
Who is it I can trust,
Being hurt by a family member,
An adult man,
A person who should know what is right and wrong,
Do they care that you have hurt them,
That you have taken their innocence,
And stomped on their heart,
Disappointment has filled my heart,
Disappointment is in my "dreams,"
Cannot you see how selfish they are,
My hero who I had not even met,
The person I waited to set my eyes on,
To see the similarities in their face and their body,
If they were like me,
The disappointment to know they couldn't wait long enough,
Long enough to see you,
To see how you looked,
And how you loved,
The disappointment to know their life was taken my their own hands,
My father the man I had always wanted to see,
The man I had never seen and never will,
The disappointment to know of his impatience and selfishness,
I am hurt so deeply now,
More than ever before,
There have been times I felt like I was dying I was so hurt,
I would never be so selfish as to end things myself,
My life is not over until God himself ends it,
The disappointment of knowing I never had a caregiver as I child,
As a child I was the caregiver of my own mother,
The mother who could not take care of herself,
The mother who left my sister and I standing,
Standing in the doorway wondering where she had gone,
Not knowing she had left until the sun came up the next day,
The disappointment is all around me now,
It haunts me and hurts me,
So much disappointment in life but what comes to mind is the ability,
The ability to laugh & smile,
To see others happy expressions,
The disappointment in life can be overshadowed,
Overshadowed by the good in my heart & in others,
I want to be happy & know that I can.


(This is about my life: growing up with no dad & never meeting him, my mother has Schizophrenia, and when I was 13 my uncle sexually molested & raped me over a 30 day time period & 2 months later went to prison).

all i can say, is, that's dreadful, but you are obviously a trememndously strong person now because of it. my ex went through much the same hainous stuff, believe it or not, and her doctors could not figure out why she wasn't in the nuthouse or an axe-murderer, and far stronger than them. if you ever need to talk, i'm here for you.

It is sad that the things within our past at times will haunt us within the future. May you find the peace within and the journey ahead be all you dream of.

A brilliant Heartwrenching write,,,
Has anyone told you lately what a Beautiful Soul
you are,,,

Love & Strength

Thank you for sharing with us. Hopefully you will find some healing within it.

It is so awful when those we trust take advantage of us. My heart goes out to you, but know from your words I can see a beautiful soul, I'm sure life has great plans for you.