If you've had a lot of pain, whether physical or emotional, and suffering in your life, how do you make sense of it, how do you rationalise it? I personally don't believe in God so for me that's not the answer. My own thoughts aren't fully formed on it, yet.

My reply to your post would very much involve discussion of God....so I'll refrain from expounding on it until such time as you specifically want to know what my reply is.

I certainly hope that you're not experiencing a great deal of pain.

My pain? I don't know what to do with it. Everyday it's daggers slicing up my insides and I feel like I'm drowning in my own blood. It's all emotional, not physical, of course, but I feel like it really is slowly killing me. I can't make any sense of it. I know the world isn't fair, but it certainly doesn't have to be downright sadistic and cruel, and kick people when they're already down.

"pain is of no moment it is to be endured"



David Eddings from the series The Belgrad

I also do not believe in god, or any final purpose, or meaning to life. I did not always feel this way.

I broke my back in a car accident. This caused me to fall into a deep depression. I spent a lot of time thinking on the concepts of fate, destiny, I had always believed I was meant to do something great in life, and couldn't understand how I had fallen so far.

I spent most of my days just trying to find a way to cope with the pain, yet I needed to find a job. Things started to get desperate.

I started to read a lot. About physics, about anything really, science, reality, philosophy, anything to take my mind off my situation. I read about Stephen Hawking, and the pain and suffering and the true hopelessness of his condition. I read about madam curie and how she died of cancer from her research with radioactive materials.

I came to the realization that life is a sexually transmitted disease with a 100% mortality rate. If we check in, we check out. I also realized its not how long you live, or how much money or things you accumulate. Its the effect you have on the people around you, its the joy of life you experience, its the way you treat yourself and those around you, its how you teach children and anyone who will listen, but its also about knowing that what you teach is real, and can move forward someone, anyone . . .

Buddhism helped me deal with the pain, not by escaping it, but by acknowledging it. Buddhism for me was not a religion, but a practice of self awareness. I read about amazing people, who had been injured even worse then myself, who had such strength of character, who had such perseverance that they would not let their injuries stop them from living life, from moving mountains with there will power to achieve what most people in there situation would think hopeless.

I had such a high expectation for my life when I was 20 years old. Now I realize that such things are nothing in the face of real adversity. I realized that each day is its own life. You must choose how you want to live it. Each person in your life is affected by your actions, your thoughts, your emotions, everything.

I decided in a single moment that I was not going to let my injury stop me from having the kind of impact I expected of myself, but also allowed myself to see that this impact isn't any final goal, or degree, or research, or fame, or fortune, but how each day plays out, and how life is enriched for everyone when you can step up to being the person you want to be in each decision made. I realized that character is cumulative.

That day I got up and ran on an elliptical. It hurt. The pain was pain of laziness, it was pain of apathy. Each day was easier. Each day my mind was clearer. Its been a year since my accident. I feel good. I will always live with pain, but I am LIVING!

Beautiful! Thank you!

If, by “make sense of” and “rationalize” you’re talking about trying to figure out why it happened, I would say that unless you’re willing to accept full responsibility for it yourself, there is no point in even thinking about it.

As a therapeutic process, find something to keep your mind off it. Dwelling on things of the past does nothing but yank the pain and suffering from the past up into the present. (Colloqially called “living in the past.”) Leave it in the past and find something to occupy your mind so that you’re not constantly dredging up back up again.

As far as “taking full responsibility for it” goes, I’m not talking about self-blame or regret. I’m talking about examining the circumstances, realizing what it is that you did that allowed/contributed to the event, and coming up with a solution that will avoid similar future events.

I wish you well.

I put one foot in front of the other and keep on moving. Can't let life get ya down.

And occasionally I get rip roaring drunk just to spice it up a bit.

I wish I knew

I think, maybe because of my scientific background, that there should be some sort of equation to balance it all. I'm not just talking of my own pain here, which recently i've shed a lot of, but those of people i love. I have some need to make sense of it all, i used to think of life in terms of needing to replicate, evolution but there's more to it than that, or so i sense. At this moment of posting i'm a wee bit tipsy so i'm going to refrain from posting again until my mind and soul are clearer. I am very interested to hear any, and every, point of view, even if it doesn't strike a chord with me!

We can not rationalize pain, only deal with it. Everyone does that in a different way. I isolate myself for a time so that I don't have to focus on other things, too. I rest my mind and body so that I can get myself to the next point to help me return to normal, whatever normal may be. Sense of responsibility motivates me.
This may be of no help to you or anyone else. It is simply what I do.

Brilliant writer by the way. I enjoy all of his books

I personally take my suffering and pain in life as lessons for the good or bad. Hindsight on such things as broken relationships made me aware of my character defect in the situation and motivated me not to make the same mistakes.

I was shot twice while in Iraq and the way i rationalize it is it just happens deal with it and move on

Turn to drugs and alcohol.



Seriously though....ride it out man. Everything will work itself out eventually.

my pain is alsao my pleasure. it allows me to know that im alive and still kicking. now beat me senseless so i will know today is real