Is it that difficult to be nice?

My own mother has asked me that question. I just told her that it looks "okay".

Or maybe that you tell her that her independence and that she makes more money than you is not an issue when it really makes you feel small and weak, so you act out.

That kinda stuff.

If we all waited until all of our issues were fixed, we'd be lonely in our graves. I'd rather someone just accept me for who I am today and support me in continuing to improve myself. Not really directed at you, but I do get tired of hearing people say how we need to fix this and that before we should have a relationship. I don't think there are too many people out there that are 100% without some kind of emotional baggage.

Honesty is such a lonely word.
Everyone is so untrue.
Honesty is hardly ever heard.
And mostly what I need from you.

it wouldn't be nice to lie. I have no problems being nice. I just answer questions that are asked straight and to the point. and when I ask questions I get really annoyed when someone wants to tell a story to answer it. Example my dad called the other day and said he had a problem in the attic. I said whats the problem? he starts with well I had the sattelite company here installing a dish and I was gonna climb into the back corner to pull cable for him and>>>>>> 10 minutes later I finally find out what the problem is... yeah I find it annoying

I was not trying to say you cant have a relationship.. I was trying ot say if you think you are fat it doesnt matter what other people think or tell you you are still going to think your fat.. so you need to learn how to be happy with it not get mad at someone for answering a question.. either that dont ask the question

what I mean by honesty is if your looking for a fling then say that.
If a man is not interested in a woman,then he needs to say that.Just be honest so she knows where she stands.If a man is interested in a woman then tell her.

Thanks for clarifying. Makes sense.

Women put on makeup to improve their appearance,
wear push-up bra's or have surgery to enhance their bustlines,
wear shoes with heels to increase their height....


but they want an "honest" man.

Ya But Im an admitted boob liar!!! I will wear those bras that make me look waaaaaaaaay bigger!!! At least Im honest....

here is a thought... how about women being honest?!?!?!

here is another thought... don't get attached... when they just say it i mean. don't take anyone for their word until the SHOW it. i can say i love you all day every day, but when you get flowers at work after telling me you've been having a rough time at work lately... i just SHOWED you that i meant it.

I love you!!!

haven't you heard, humans block out most things IF HEARD WHEN FEELING NEGATIVE???

so unless you speak it, and get an acceptance with a WILLING AND OPEN EYE'S YES, it will not be remembered within the conscious PRESENT mind, so MANY things will appear as lies, since HEARING is reduced to nill when it's only what one WANTS TO HEAR???

nothing human knows what it want until it has crossed over EVERY FENCE, as surely one knows all the green grass on the other side must be inspected for tastiness, but it would be a GRAVE MISTAKE TO NOT SEE ALL THINGS COME BACK TO WHAT IS TRUE AND HONEST, AS NO MATTER HOW MANY FAILURES, nothing can replace TOTAL HONESTY WHEN REALITY IS IN SHORT SUPPLY???

the only reality check that one have is the degree of HONESTY IT COERCE OUT OF ANYTHING, by making sure IT'S OWN RESPONSES DO NOT HELP OTHERS TO BE DISHONEST, as ALL THINGS "HATE" TO HURT THE FEELINGS OF A FRIEND, so unless it is BEGGED FOR, self will always be disappointed???

honesty of the only reality, but unless ALL WORDS ARE ACCEPTED, there is none!!!

My opinion is that women are probably not unlike myself.

They want a man who is truthful.

If I ask my partner do I look fat in this dress I am looking for information not ego strokeing. Does it look like the button or zipper is straining? Is it bunching up over my butt? Is my bust looked pinched in? Is the hem hitting where it compliments the shape of my leg? Or is it just snug enough you think it looks sexy?

True a man may not be well versed in all these factors but he does know what he likes and if the dress is not all that flattering it is nice to know. If I am making and effort to look good 95% of it is because I want it to reflect positively on both of us.

Yes it is nice if you can use a little tact with your opinion but how hard is it to say "Yes it is not the most flattering fit but I like the color and I think it will be fine for tonight."

If I ask my husband does he want to go to the store during a football game I want and honest answer there too. I may have no clue how the game is going, or I may know that his supper is going to be very late, or he won't have a lunch the next day if he waits to go and the store is closed. How hard is it to just ask if it is urgent? Or explain this is a really good game he has a bet on. She asked she didn't order him to do it. If she is pissed the likelyhood is the husband doesn't get that she needs his help.

I think the real thing most spouses are more worried about is are they getting straight answers on issues they are vunerable too. Cheating, money problems, unequal household or parenting responsibilitys, health issues. It is kind of hard to play the cards you are delt if you don't know if you got all the cards on the table. Trust is eroded one word and one action at a time for me.

I don't want some one to pretend to love me or agree to do something then be griting his teath at me and resents what he is doing.

I agree with the not telling a lie but knowing how to say it to benefit both parties. i had a girl ask me if i liked her hair after she cut it all off pretty much, and i replied, "you are still beautiful, but i like long hair. it's more captivating."

IM JUT GONNA LAUGH

BECAUSE THAT WAS FUNNY

Maybe...just maybe man!

But eh...what do you consider rude?

personally... i take anything you can throw at me lol i've learned to not really worry about what people think of me. i know me, and my friends and family know me, i'm good. BUT for women... almost anything that has to do with appearance, past issues, or usually family.

Most people of both sexes I have met recently have responded to absolute honesty with wide eyes and the absence of phone calls.

Absolute honesty is not just something for the person you give it to - it is a thing for yourself. I have found it profoundly difficult to admit those true reasons for a thing I have done for various people. I don't believe I have ever stopped to help a woman change her tire or carry something heavy without the thought of sex crossing my mind. That might not have been the reason I helped her, but the thought occurs to me.

This is absolute honesty:

Woman: "Thank you for stopping to help. This would have taken much longer if I had to do it alone."
Man: "You are welcome, and I am happy to have helped someone. Before I leave, I would like to say that I am currently fantisizing about having sex with you, and will continue to do so until distracted by a female of your attractiveness."
Woman: "..." , "..." , "..."