im feeling so trapped within my own past

all the guilt i cant seem to surpass

now im releasing it all as i speak

while trying so hard to be tranquil and meek

i have to let go and move on

or wise i will be nothing but my own pawn

so many bad things have i done

and while i seemed like it was fun

i will never be the same

nor will i be so lame

and all the while i grow stronger

maybe someday i will suffer no longer

these lonely self-pity tendencies

are out of tune like shattered piano treble keys

now that ive said it all, the pain is starting to cease

please, oh please! i have paid so many fees

i want to be rid of this torture that i always foresee

and be free of the burden that has always hid inside of me

speak freely or forever hold your dreams

my mouth says nothing while my distorted heart screams

blaming so many feelings on each other

i cant deal with one more person, let alone another

i thought i already let all this go away

see how my mind cycles still to this day

i want to figure it all out right now

so i dont have to think about the word how

or why or when or where or what is that person's name again?

while all im trying to do is listen to this feeling and try to comprehend

myself bleeding from the inside out

so please dont get mad if i do shout

i am a kind and loving person

with a death wish because we do all sin

as well as we all cry and love and lie

and when put on the stage all we can do is sigh

so please let this be my time to cry

please let this be my time to die

i beg you nevertheless

understand me and say nothing i wont confess

my cords are stretches so far i cannot talk

these feelings hold me down and i try to walk

theres got to be an answer to all of this

i wont be blinded by such a bland kiss

im starting to feel hope is something i have suddenly lost

and i cant bear what it all will eventually cost

always finding myself trying to reach for that cross

yes thats the one with green covered moss

the one that has lost its meaning to me

while it hides under a dark coated tree

i can find no answers imbedded in me

not even the silver lining thats suppose to set me free

and this poem will lose its meaning to you all

but not to the kind of heart who couldnt head my call

i have nothing left here by impossible dreams

and im sick of the same intolerable themes

now the wax is running dry like my blood

and my emotions are draining like a flood

i have nowhere else to turn

nowhere else to learn

what its like to breathe without a care

what its like to finally have something to share

what its like to cry so gracefully

what its like to die so shamefully

after the confusion has been set aside for the day

i sit back and dream that everything is okay

and then i can feel the wind blowing in my face

caressing my hair and leaving its trace

the tall grass whistling their melodic hisses

and a cliff standing so steep with rocky hinges

there is no sky but the fog that has taken over

and soon everything i see turns asuner

and i jump off with my eyes closed so tight

and the mist of the waterfall could never have felt so bright

before i hit the bottom i exhale the pain therein

and i wake and inhale it all over again.

†

live and learn,one day at a time.Welcome to the poem forum.