Ive decided to share this..hopefuly someone can get something out of
this..3000+ miles.to make story short.. talked for 3 weeks decided to
meet.. 6 more weeks it happened he came here. as time neared im thinking
all involved in it.if it worked he leaves his kids.. 10-13.. retires
from his job.. leaves his famile well,, who am i to be a part of that
for someone i care about? one week meeting is not enough time to know if
you even "feel" sure that it would even work? im not the kind of person
that would want to "feel" like i was a part of all of this.. if it didnt
work..i would feel horrible about myself! so i decide to tell him day 5
of him being here this.. day 6 he asks me to marry him... i ask why? he
replies.. because i have to leave.. no matter what and i feel if there
is some commitment as marriage u wont leave me and date others..<mind u
i havent dated since ive liked him> he knew this...my feelings...
marriage is based on feeling secure with each other.. to me,this told me
hes not secure.. and rushed for perhaps other reasons? or for his own
insecurity..? i know that insecurity in the past for me has caused lots
of uncalled issues happen in a relationship before... what do u think?

I think it is a great post at the moment ....


for several reasons concerning some friends, ty buttons for
sharing

just something to ponder on for others trying a ldr... no matter how
much u care about the person ..if u really care and so far... and all
their loss is it worth it to u how u feel about yourself... if it doesnt
work?

ps ... i had a wonderful time.. thats not the point...

Hi Buttons,

Glad your sharing this. I'm a little in the same boat right now with a
JSH person.

just think ok mg is all i ask before u arrange to meet....
deb

i never tried this before myself the long distant thing...

My marriage was long distance, but we had tons of money and could meet
anywhere at any time. But, now a JSH relationship I'm scared to death of
hurting her.

I told her yesterday that it has to move back to friends. Is that even
kinda where you are at?

well i care deeply or i wouldnt be thinking of these issues yea hes a
great guy but to lose all that over a risk i really dont want to be a
part of ya know? and not enough time to decide marriage and since he
brought it up and asked for those reasons. do u honestly think that it
is worth going farther than friends?

perhaps if the loss would not of been so great as i strongly feel his
would of been ..i might of tried it.. but not so sure since his ideas of
marriage are totally differently than mine are....

That is such a tough question. I am thinking that the only way would be
if you, or I, or anyone thinking about this could be together for a
while in person to figure it out.

yes i agree even with all the web cam and phone conversation like 4
hours most days... and emails... once u hit in person it starts all over
again even if u feel u know them... i was quite shy all over.... and 1
week not enough time

Your really have to be on the same page with the other person, don't
you. Even if their a great person like I'm sure the one your talking
about is.

I wouldn't marry someone I met here 3 weeks ago
I would have some fun with them and get to know them not marriage be
careful that sounds strange how do you know anything about him, how do
you know he has a job to retire from or kids for that matter. Buttons
just be careful. Do you have net. detective I would check him
out. But good luck on whatever you choose.

yes i mean down to the t!!!!

alpine i met him on here feb 7th.. around there... in person last wed...
he was here till yesterday...

Oh 8 weeks ago that make all the differance.....

i refuse to marry lol for those reasons... and that was a turn off as he
knows even asking for that reason... yes all this has been discused...

Only you know what your heart says just use your head
to. Sounds like you are.

At least you've got to date someone
congratuations.