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Topic: What are we doing wrong???????
PATSFAN's photo
Sun 02/01/09 10:25 PM


scared


Ah, come on Pats.. You're not afraid to spill your guts are you?




I have nothing to say:angel:

Skad's photo
Sun 02/01/09 10:27 PM



scared


Ah, come on Pats.. You're not afraid to spill your guts are you?




I have nothing to say:angel:


lol. fine) I need to head out anyway.. but I'll check in to see if you've conquered your fears in the morning.. ;p

scotty1964's photo
Sun 02/01/09 10:33 PM
you should just play guitar in a band at a local blues club or something and meet women there for real........this online stuff only works if you live close and are totally honest....all the women on here know that im crazy,but that doesnt mean we cant be friends in this kinda fantasy type way......i like ithappy smokin drinker

EtherealEmbers's photo
Sun 02/01/09 10:47 PM
Edited by EtherealEmbers on Sun 02/01/09 10:52 PM
I think the biggest problem with internet dating is that we're not meeting face to face.

There's way too much room for lies and half truths online. Sure, you deal with the same thing in life, but those are usually different types of lies than online lies. Here you can wear a mask and be anything and anyone you want to be. You can only pull that off so much in real life.

This is a world of fantasy and make believe and too many people fall into the temptation of bleeding it into their real lives outside this box. It becomes a whole online persona and soon they can't break from the addiction of it.

That and some people.. a lot of people... lose their social skills from not interacting in person with others. They forget how it is to be polite and respectful and considerate.

Then there are those of us that get jaded and let a couple or even A WHOLE LOT of bad experiences influence our opinions of the masses. You get all this "Men are... women like..." and everyone knows (or should know) that you cannot fairly lump all members of one sex into blanket statements and not have tons of people pissed at you.

Lots of people don't like honesty because it uncovers their lies.

Lots of people don't like it when others have high standards, because they think that person views themselves above others and perhaps they don't fit into their idea of beautiful.


There are always problems in life, nothing is easy (some people excluded), and happiness is all a state of mind. I've come to appreciate all the little moments of happiness and can still smell the beauty of a flower in a pile of ****. Pardon my lovely analogy. lol

Good luck to all of us still searching.

ThomasJB's photo
Sun 02/01/09 10:54 PM
Is lying in your profile the same as lying in the non-virtual? I kind of think it is.

longhairbiker's photo
Sun 02/01/09 11:11 PM
Hey jim, ya old fart. Glad to see you're alive and well. I have zero problems with the opposite sex. And it feels great.

FireOfThePhoenix's photo
Mon 02/02/09 12:00 AM
Damm the instruction manual it's never in english!!!


Let's just look at the diagram


Tab A inserts into Slot B and do not cross the wires there is a big red cross through that

Ooops, darn it set it on fire, doesn't it just figure

Is it really all that complicated? spock

scotty1964's photo
Mon 02/02/09 01:57 AM

Damm the instruction manual it's never in english!!!


Let's just look at the diagram


Tab A inserts into Slot B and do not cross the wires there is a big red cross through that

Ooops, darn it set it on fire, doesn't it just figure

Is it really all that complicated? spock


:heart: hi beautiful!!

FireOfThePhoenix's photo
Mon 02/02/09 02:00 AM
(((((scotty))))) Hiya Sweets smooched

Skad's photo
Mon 02/02/09 05:26 AM
Edited by Skad on Mon 02/02/09 05:27 AM

There's way too much room for lies and half truths online. Sure, you deal with the same thing in life, but those are usually different types of lies than online lies. Here you can wear a mask and be anything and anyone you want to be. You can only pull that off so much in real life.

Lots of people don't like honesty because it uncovers their lies.



Ahh.. maybe that's what I'm doing wrong. I tend to discuss my ideas on what it means to be a good person first, which includes: 1-absolute, upfront honesty; 2-following through with what you say you're going to do (i.e. being a man of your word); and 3-doing what is right for no other reason than it's the right thing to do. Guess I may run quite a few off after that.. ;p

I practice all three (not perfectly, of course), but the value on these traits is just not the same in today's society... Finding a person with them takes time, because you have to be able to examine the person they are for consistency with those traits in real life situations.

bluesman4123's photo
Mon 02/02/09 06:29 AM

my friend

tell ya now this aint gonna go over to well


Don't know why you thought that, it seems to be going over fairly well. I wasn't trying to step on anyone's toes, just trying to get other folks ideas on the subject!!!!

Since I haven't figured out how to put multiple quotes in a message, I'll have to answer this the best that I can. First I'll say hello to longhairedbiker, how have you been. Maybe you can tell us guys what you do in that you have no problems with women.....and please don't tell me that you're gay!!!!laugh

And to Scotty1954, I've been playing in clubs since the early 60's and that is not the place to meet a lady. I met my second wife that way, and I have wished many times that I had stayed home that night. A few years back, I met a lady in a bar who was simply wild about my singing (that should have shown what a tin ear she had)!!!! I later found out that she was an alcoholic when she invited me over for dinner and instead of telling me to bring a bottle of wine, she told me to bring several.drinker She fixed a great dinner, which I ate while she got sloshed on the wine!!!!! (Wrote a song about her titled "Angel with the Heart of a Honky-Tonk Queen" I played and sang it for her and even though it spoke of a lady who sits in the bar waiting for the next guy to buy her a beer, she loved it. She said, "That's just like me!!!!" Damn, I was so glad to get her out of my life!!!!LOL)

And to Skad, you're not only a gorgeous lady, but you posts to this thread are very sensible and enlightening, thanks!!!!!smooched

To all the rest, I will try to respond to you as time goes on and if we keep this thread going. Nice to be able to talk with others about these things. Hope you all have a nice Groundhog's Day, drats, another 6 weeks of this winter crap!!!!tears








bluesman4123's photo
Mon 02/02/09 06:35 AM
Skad, Sorry about the typo, that should have been "your" posts. I'm simply not a good proofreader!!!!!:wink:

no photo
Mon 02/02/09 12:36 PM
i agree with that 100%

FearandLoathing's photo
Mon 02/02/09 01:03 PM
Well...we are on a dating site, should be the first cue we are doing something wrong.laugh

franshade's photo
Mon 02/02/09 01:05 PM
I dont be doing nuffin wrong laugh

Geckgo's photo
Mon 02/02/09 08:07 PM
Dating sites give me something to do at 4 in the morning when I'm offshore and working nights, specially when we are circulating or something else where I have zero work to do.

"
Ahh.. maybe that's what I'm doing wrong. I tend to discuss my ideas on what it means to be a good person first, which includes: 1-absolute, upfront honesty; 2-following through with what you say you're going to do (i.e. being a man of your word); and 3-doing what is right for no other reason than it's the right thing to do. Guess I may run quite a few off after that.. ;p

I practice all three (not perfectly, of course), but the value on these traits is just not the same in today's society... Finding a person with them takes time, because you have to be able to examine the person they are for consistency with those traits in real life situations.
Edited by Skad on Mon 02/02/09 05:27 AM
"

I agree. People have no sense of honor these days. It's about "being nice" rather than doing right. Of course, what is defined as "right" is different to everyone. There are those who would tie me to a block of wood and set fire to me just because of my beliefs or my ethnic background. But if people would try to do the "right" thing more often I think everyone would be better off.

And doing wrong by internet dating? Guess that depends on your situation but if you are doing it to suppliment other methodologies I think you're alright. I try to talk to every girl that I see who doesn't look like a flake.

no photo
Mon 02/02/09 08:26 PM
Edited by Jeanniebean on Mon 02/02/09 08:27 PM
"What are we doing wrong?"

An answer to the question from the tarot lady:

Card Drawn:



FIVE OF CUPS

Disappointment and regret is the energy of this card. This tells me that the problem is that our expectations are not fulfilled.

Why do we have expectations anyway?

Why can't we meet each other without expectations of what they can do for us?

Can you just meet and get to know a person for who and what THEY are without expectations? Can you stop looking for a person to fulfill your life and just be a friend or welcome friendship and see where it goes from there?

Don't think of it as dating, just make friends. Out of about 100 friends you meet and get to know maybe one of them might be a little compatible and have possibilities.

But no, we jump in there and hook up with someone and expect them to fill all our expectations and to fill that odd shaped empty slot in our lives to make us whole.

That is the whole of the problem.

Don't worry, be happy, make friends. drinker


74Drew's photo
Tue 02/03/09 06:35 AM
i know what it is that i do wrong.

i also know that since i won't approach anybody i get nowhere.

it's like the lotto, you gotta get in it to win it.

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