I realized something today.
Even though I think about this girl constantly (we'll call her my ex for simplicity even though we never dated, we just spent a lot of time together and I was crushin on her pretty bad and we fooled around a bit), it's not really her that I miss. I miss the companionship and the attention that I got from her even though it wasn't as much as I had wanted.

I don't want her back in my life, she was very bad for me, but the void that was partially filled by her presence is again vacant and I would really like someone else to again fill that void.

I guess there's no question there, but sometimes it's nice to share the things that we learn.

awww are you sure your not in love with her?

i was, but i have a bit of a problem with being in love with someone who finds someone else and then takes them with to Cali. when she moves.

Oh, and she doesn't message me.....at all.....ever.....unless i message her....which i don't do anymore.

you seem like a caring person i would move on and find someone who appreciates you... good luck

thanks, i've only found one girl who appreciates me and wouldn't you know, i'm not the least bit attracted to her.

but, where there's one, there may be others.

good luck to you too

Perhaps you have a broken picker?

sometimes are attractions are fatal to our well being,.maybe give this one a chance,..how will you ever know,.

That's a good point -- sometimes it's not so much a specific person as it is just the idea of having someone there to care for.

Thanks for posting this, it made me think about some things!

i know what you're saying and i agree, however this girl and i are good friends and i am not physically attracted to her, in fact, her physical appearance turns me completely off.

we all have our ideals, and we all make some compromises, but this wouldn't be a compromise it would be giving up.

your very welcome, i hope it helps you in some way

I stayed in a very bad-for-me relationship on and off for over 3 years. Why? Exactly what you said. I did love him, but not the way he treated me. He had no sense of how to treat a woman besides the constant attention of calling & texting .. and he did make me laugh (that's really important to me)

so ya ..

I totally get what you said here.

I used to just replace the 'companionship' with a new guy, but I wasn't really into the new guy, just the attention.

** and edit, that wasn't fair to the 'new guy' .. there were a lot in between all the breakups in 3 years. always used a back up plan. *sigh*

I had to get to a place of not needing that to break it off completely.

i think the problem a lot of people have is that they get so wrapped up in feeling lonely and wanting to escape that they get over zealous or they settle for less that what they want.

i get over zealous like "i need to make this one work/last"

people can read desperation.

You miss "companionship"......nothing wrong with that.

i know

but people avoid desperation like it's the plague.

edit

i can't say it's desperation though. just loneliness. if it were desperation, i'd have already hooked up with someone.

its funny how mutual levels of attraction are hard to come by...usually someone likes someone more...i was in the same boat a while ago..

roco

..its funny..women can sniff out desperation innately...just as they can smell ovulation..

roco

we're both content with the friendship

Some voids can never be replaced, just new people to share premature voiding with,wink,lol