got any good jokes? I'm in a cranky mood and could really use a good laugh.

q.why didn't mrs. planter peanut like givin mr. peanut head.?

a.his cum stuck to the roof of her mouth.!

So, here's the story. . .


Tired of constantly being broke & stuck
in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as
the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed.

A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld
figure who went by the name of 'Artie.'
Artie then explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing
out a spouse was $5,000.

The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any cash
on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money.

Artie insisted on being paid at least
something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the
single dollar bill that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, &
reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the
dirty deed.

A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local

Super Wal-Mart store. There, he surprised her in the produce
department & proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands & as the poor
unsuspecting woman drew her last breath &slumped to the floor........
The manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly

onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol' Artie had no choice but to strangle the
produce manager as well.

However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings
were captured by the hidden security cameras &observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was
caught & arrested before he could even leave the store.

Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole
sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless
husband who was also quickly arrested.

The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared ...








(You're going to hate me for this ... )



'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for
$1.00 AT WAL-MART!'

That was 2 funny!!!