What happens when you're eighteen, full of drugs and despair?
Absolutely nothing!
Your heart will still beat, though icy and black, self-hatred grows thicker.
To cover it up you'll fall “in love” maybe a wedding will follow
Only because you've managed in your pathetic groping for minutes of happiness-
To give life to another
Maybe the child will smother the sense of failure.
After all, It will love you always...right?
That child has come, A beautiful little girl
Finally! Joy but not for long
That man you married, he's still a drug-head and a violent drunk.
Now what?
Gather your things and run
Maybe this time true love waits.
Silently, anger simmers such young stupidity
Eventually you'll take it all out on her.
Horrible names and threats will pour like rain
You hate her!
Oh happiness was yours to be had, If only she was never born.
Years tick away, everything beautiful you were too blind to see Turns to dust
It's no longer recognizable
All hope has been washed away, like footprints in the sand
Desperation is your only companion
Finally you'll drum up a stupid plan
Tell them you'll kill yourself
Scare your oldest to death
The one you treat like a stranger
A mistake of your youth
Often times the sole bearer of your self-hate
She prays for you each and every night
Chances are you won't care
You'll be to busy hoping to throw it all away


Dedicated to my mother, despite the hell I went through at times she still means the world to me I just wish she'd change

This is a tragic story,I can feel the hurt. I find that my best writing come out of releasing the pain of my past. Thank for sharing.