So how does everyone feel about polyamory------defined by wikipedia as

Polyamory (from poly=multiple + amor=love) is the desire, practice, or
acceptance of having more than one loving, intimate relationship at a
time with the full knowledge and consent of everyone involved.

Let me know your thoughts/feelings.

I think its crap (sorry).

To love one person should be enough for anyone.
Besides love is hard enough with one ...

It is nice to love people for being people, but as for sexual I prefer
it to be that one person. I am more comfortable with just one that I can
trust. I more comfortable letting down my guard with one person to
explore each other's body. It takes a lot to understand what feels good
and doesn't with someone, because no two people are alike. To me
intimacy is something very special that is just between 2 people. If you
share it with everyone then that take the specialness away.

Its crap! And maybe dangerous.

Jeez...

I can barely handle ONE of you at a time.

I can just imagine what more then one would do to my life.

Watch that idiot show 'Officer and a Gentleman'...

CAT FIGHT!

No way....just a fancy word for f@#$k buddy.

What'd you say Jax? I think that it is simply to each his own. If
someone is comfortable with it. I have known people in those types of
relationships and seem to do very well with it. For myself, as AB said,
hell I can't even handle one at a time!

I’m monogamous by nature when it comes to intimacy.

Polygamy is totally unattractive to me.

It’s simply incompatible with the type of deeply imitate relationship I
desire. There’s no way that I could be that deeply intimate with two or
more people simultaneously.

So, from my point of view, polygamy necessarily represents a shallow
relationship which I have absolutely no desire for.

not my thang

One is definitely enough

ya heard me girlfriend..
If it works for someone great but I dont think lasting happiness comes
from it.Someone is going to get sick of sharing.
JMO and its right..

A smart man once told me that somethings are better left to fantasy then
reality lol

Polyamory is not for me.

Most people who are polyamorous will tell you that sexual intimacy is
secondary (and sometimes nonexistent) in one or more of their
relationships. The overarching concept or philosophy, as I understand
it, is to have an extreme openness with more than one person on a deeply
intimate level, understanding that one partner may have some but not all
of the attributes or personality traits you crave, but another partner
may.

For instance, a woman may like the intellectual side of one man and the
passionate/spontaneous side of another. Practitioners of polyamory
don't feel as if they have to compromise to have intimacy on every
level. But certainly these relationships go far beyond friendship.
And, of course, such personal closeness often manifests as sexual
intimacy.

I wouldn't say that it's nothing more than having a f*** buddy, and it
certainly is much more than swinging. I will say, however, that I don't
think polyamory works well in the early stages of a relationship. For
the first few years, there's a newness and a bonding that I don't think
can be shared effectively. However, new relationships of that caliber
can sometimes be fostered later if the first relationship is especially
strong, loving, and trusting.

I think very few people are strong enough emotionally to make this work,
and even those who are are likely in a relationship with someone who is
not. It's certainly not for everyone. I don't know if I could partake
in a polyamorous lifestyle, but I have strong views about personal
freedom and sexual liberation, so I see nothing inherently wrong with
it. I say, live and let live.

Since the OP asked for thoughts and feelings I’ll ramble on a bit more.

From a moral position I don’t care what other people do. However, if I
lived next door to a man who had multiple wives and I was all alone with
none I’d be feeling some jealousy. What that would really amount to in
my mind is that the ‘players’ are collecting all the women whilst the
sincere men do without. That could really make me angry over a long
period of time if I was always alone. It could become another story
similar to Cain and Abel. (ha ha) In fact, I think this is one reason
why it’s not socially accepted. The bold aggressive men would hoard all
the women whilst the shy meek men die of loneliness. If polygamy were
commonplace then murder might become commonplace too.

But then again, I’m not so sure that I’d want a woman who could be happy
in a polygamous relationship anyway. I mean, if she’s happy in a
polygamous relationship then she’s probably not going to do well with me
in a monogamous relationship anyhow.

I’m a very monogamous-minded man. I need a monogamous-minded woman.

So while I might be jealous of a polygamist neighbor (if I were lonely)
I probably wouldn’t want any of his wives anyway. I wouldn’t be happy
with a woman who could be happy with polygamy to begin with.

I might add that I would only be jealous of a polygamous neighbor if I
was alone myself. It would be like he was hoarding all the women whilst
I have none. If I had my solitary monogamous wife, then I wouldn’t be
jealous of a polygamist neighbor. I only want one woman and if my
neighbor is having an orgy with a bunch of women next door more power to
him. It’s just not my cup of tea.

So I could view polygamy as ‘hoarding’ women by men who might not even
be as sincere as I am. And if I were suffering from loneliness at the
time I would not be inclined to embrace the fact that my polygamist
neighbors are hoarding all the women.

It’s hard enough to find a mate as it is without having to compete with
men who hoard multiple women. The other thing too, is that if polygamy
were commonly accepted once a man gets one wife who is polygamy-minded
it would be much easier for him to start collecting more. And the more
he collects the easier it gets.

So I would be voting to have an open-season on polygamists. At least
buck season anyway. (ha ha)

Just my feelings on polygamy. It’s not something that I would lovingly
embrace obviously.

I mean look at how hard it is to find a mate in a monogamous society.
If society embraced polygamy finding a mate would be just that much more
difficult. Law of supply and demand.

I'm not sharing with anyone!

Hi Abracadabra.

You're speaking strictly of polygamy — "the practice or custom of having
more than one wife or husband at the same time," but the question deals
with polyamory, which is "the philosophy or state of being in love or
romantically involved with more than one person at the same time."
[Definitions courtesy of the New Oxford American Dictionary]

The distinction probably doesn't change your view anyway, but I thought
it was an important distinction to make. The relationships can be very
different.

You stated, "If polygamy were commonplace then murder might become
commonplace too." I disagree. That makes an invalid correlation
between very different activities. There is no reason to believe that
acceptance of sexual and emotional liberties will be a slippery slope to
acceptance of murder.

I also disagree with your description of "hoarding women." Polyamory
can just as easily describe a woman who is intimate with more than one
man in her life. Additionally, "hoarding" makes it sound like the women
have no will of their own in this situation. It's not a harem.

Sorry, I don't mean to beat up on you Abracadabra. I'm just rambling.

Hummm not for me I don't share at all!



But to each there own. Some live by it and think it is great. Well if it
works for them more power to them. Not gonna say they are wrong for that
is there choice. Not something I believe in nor would do myself. I
believe if your with someone then it should be a one on one
relationship.

Most are doing good if they can keep one happy much less several. But
then I have watched some of the programs about that they have certain
nites that he sleeps with each one shssssssssssss bet the men call all
there wives Darling lol.

Thank you resserts!!! Please everyone notice that the definition said
"loving and intimate", it deliberately did NOT say "sexually intimate".
Resserts already covered this but for some polyamorous people sex
doesn't even play a role. So polyamory is -not- polygamy, and its
definitely NOT 'having a f#ck buddy". (But it is true that people will
use the ideas of polyamory to 'justify' or 'validate' their purely
sexual desires...)

To my mind, polyamory is simply an acknowledgment of what is already
going on in many peoples lives. Most of us already love more than one
person, think close friends, and family.

You might be in a sexual relationship with one person (and one person
only), but you might experience asexual attraction to someone else. In
a healthy relationship (my opinion), you would be willing to at least
acknowledge that - for too many people, their 'monogamy' is so delicate
and fragile, they feel the need to hide that completely.

And some people find there are things (thoughts, feelings, experiences
in life) easier shared with their friends than with their spouse. Thats
a form of intimacy right there, simply being honest about who you are.

Resserts already said it all much better - I do know that some people
will abuse the ideas of polyamory to make their promiscuity 'sound
nice', but there are sincere people out there who are simply taking a
more honest approach to their actual ways of feeling/relating towards
people - and for them it has nothing to do with having f#ck buddies.

resserts wrote:
“You're speaking strictly of polygamy — "the practice or custom of
having more than one wife or husband at the same time," but the question
deals with polyamory, which is "the philosophy or state of being in love
or romantically involved with more than one person at the same time."

Ok, I wasn’t aware of that distinction.

Many people already have multiple romantic partners in non-committed
relationships all the time. This is quite socially accepted, and it’s
also perfectly legal. So by the definition that you gave polyamory is
alive and well.

I would still vote against polygamy though, just for practical reasons.
It’s hard enough to find a mate in a monogamous world, competing for a
mate in a polygamous world would just be all that much more difficult.

If I have to compete with you a man once for a woman, that’s bad enough.
But if I have to compete with the same man for every woman available
then I’m not going to be real happy about that.

“Additionally, "hoarding" makes it sound like the women have no will of
their own in this situation. It's not a harem”

You say that 'hoarding' makes it sound like women have no will of their
own. But I see women falling for jerks all the time, so I’m not
convinced that women do have a will of their own. Or if they do, they
certainly seem to enjoy making really bad choices. So I’d just rather
not give them polygamy as a choice to begin with.

Abracadabra:

"But I see women falling for jerks all the time, so I’m not convinced
that women do have a will of their own."

Okay, point taken. The same could be said for a lot of guys who end up
with horrible women, though. And there's an important distinction
between being forced to do what someone else wants, and being able to do
what you want (even if the reason for your motivations are obfuscated).